Dating Thread 201: Get out from under your 3 month wonder and widen your areas

[cravingthelook]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Hi @bangheadhere40 ☺️ Have you got a link please?
Out of boredom ive just opened a tinder account 😟

Just type in Elliot Scott dating on YouTube...there are lots of videos 🙂

@bangheadhere40👍 Cool ill have a look 😁

Might give that a watch too, sounds like the kind of advice I need! Have hidden my profile on tinder for now - it's draining keeping up conversations with new matches and then they just dry up! Hope you all have a lovely Monday :) xx

I think I need to look at that Elliott Scott video too!

I had a 24 hour period on PoF, 1 potential exchanged numbers with but he seems a bit full on. Lots of 😍 and 🥰 in his messages.
Apparently I'm just his type - he literally knows 3 things about me - I'm attractive, like the countryside and musical theatre.

Sent the good morning text to @cravingthelook and she thinks it's sweet but something about it gives me the creeps. Can't put my finger on what though. Seems very overly familiar for someone who matched yesterday

He’s enthusiastic 😆😆 ‘booty’.... 🤢

I love Greta Bereisaite’s vids on youtube. She has an amazing voice!

It does seem a bit cringe - bit Joe wicks/Gok wan

@Dancerinthemoonlight do YOU like the look of him though?

I wouldn’t say that message would be to my taste but we all have different tastes? He might have a good heart.

The main thing is character - eg MrC sometimes came up with statements/sayings that I thought were 🤮

but over time definitely was a decent and kind man to date.

@dancerinthemoonlight I wouldn't be able to take a message like that seriously! However, I wouldn't write someone off for it. X

I wouldn't like a message like that dancer... it's very over familiar and all the heart emojis too. Might just be how he speaks though 🙂

It sounds like he has just read a book of motivational quotes @Dancerinthemoonlight!!

Well, I am not sure I can do this 60 day wait thing. I exchanged a couple of messages on Friday with Mr G and then sent a couple of pics Sat before doing some fitness. He sent the heart faced emoji. I sent a follow up message afterwards and wished him a good weekend. I have heard nothing since and he has been on WhatsApp. The message about the dating guy saying a man who likes you won’t put himself in a position to lose you has hit home for me. Pandemic or not he should at least be polite if he values me at all. I’m not talking an expectation of 100’s of messages either. I have sent a good morning one just now and asked if he fancies a chat one night in the week. I think if he doesn’t respond to that I am going to tell him I think we should leave it. I am justifying his behaviour as we got on so well in the months from Oct to this lockdown. I know he is worried about the virus and is vulnerable and also his job/childcare have made him horrendously busy, but I think he should have time for a call/a couple of daily messages if he values me at all.

This will probably all go out of the window if he sends a nice message today, but I am definitely over thinking the situation and justifying his behaviour too as it is so different from when we were regularly seeing each other.

I think I need to rediscover my self respect as I would not (& did not) tolerate being this low down on someone’s priorities list before this lockdown. I like him though (a lot) and prior to this lockdown we were great which is why I keep trying to justify his lack of contact now I think.

I would write someone off for it. I know we are all different though.

He is french so I don't know if that's just him. He is good looking but I would say amazing.
I think I will just see how the messages go and his level of interest. He hasn't really asked me anything about me. As he has travelled a lot I asked him his favourite places he visited and as his bio said he like singing shoe tunes what his favourite thing to sing is. Then I didn't hear from about 1:30 yesterday until the cringy message this morning.
Struggling to think of anything he has asked me; didn't follow up with any questions about where I have travelled to etc. No questions about what I like to do, my job or anything.

My focus is prep for an interview next week. Although they haven't said how much the pay is so my luck will be less than I'm looking for.

Aw noodles yes he talks a lot too about how we make up excuses and focus on maybe 1 good thing they've done - whilst ignoring all the bad to fit what we want to see.

Sorry about your iron - I've convinced myself before that people must be so 'busy' but in reality how long does it take to send a message at least once a day - 10 seconds or something.

Typical, he has replied saying a chat one night would be lovely and to let him check his work meetings for the best night.

I do feel like I have been losing some of my feelings for him gradually over this lockdown. I was thinking I would have a chat when we can eventually spend some time face to face again and see if we are on the same page and be prepared to walk away if I don’t feel he is reciprocating. I am only giving it a chance because of how good it was before this lockdown though and I have been saying to myself if this was happening to a friend of mine, I would be telling her to run for the hills. I just seen unable to follow my own advice as want to see what it looks like the other side of this lockdown.

I am going to watch a few more of the YouTube clips as they really resonated with me this morning...

Morning all. I am in work and struggling to concentrate after a sleepless weekend with Mr G. It is so busy at the moment. Am dying for a holiday (next week, yay!)

Still not done my Form E! I am just waiting for someone to do it for me and I don't care how inappropriate that is. I actually get panic attacks when I look at it.

Mr G is being really full on at the moment, and I am struggling to contain my feelings for him. He is so good to me and to be honest nobody else is or ever has been as caring and kind. I am terrified of being in love though as I know I'm not that emotionally resilient. Even though he gives me no reason to doubt him I think that if I care about someone they will leave. (when I don't give a crap I can't get people to leave me alone!)

I had a chat with Mr Beard last night as well, can't stop poking the bear even though I know it is bad for me. I'll send him a funny meme to get his attention and then when he replies I ask how he is (cos he likes talking about himself!) then often he will suggest ringing me for a chat (about him). I feel safe as I know he doesn't want me back but it still gives me butterflies when I talk to him and I'm actually in a relationship with someone else. I wish I could stop being such a massive twat! Feel free to tell me to sort my head out.

@Dancerinthemoonlight I would not want to be with someone who told me to go and conquer the world! I can barely make it downstairs to turn on the laptop! I would like a man who tells me to go and have a nice lie down with no heart face emojis!

@Shayelle2009

Hey *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards*, hope you've had a reply by now.. have you guys actually met up yet? Hope he gets back to you. I think a few of us feel that way on this thread so you're not alone feeling like that, OLD is pretty brutal x

Hi @Shayelle, thanks for your message.

No, we haven't meet up yet. We've only been talking a few weeks.

I'm just so tired of having all these conversations with people that seem to go nowhere. Xx

@bangheadhere40

Hi onwards hope you are okay and well done for telling him.

I don't normally look at dating coaches but an advert came up so I had a look...has anyone seen Elliot Scott? He's young and American but kind of gives a no nonsense approach which I like.

The basic message is " if a guy likes you - he won't put himself in a position to lose you". He talks a lot about inconsistency in behaviour and how mainly as women we overthink and come up with our own narrative. It's a lot less fluffy than any other videos I've seen and does make sense, I could relate a lot.

Thank you @bangheadhere. I will have a look ❤️

@Dancerinthemoonlight maybe its a bit different if he’s French, I think id take the message a bit more tongue in cheek but see how he goes on.

Aww @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards i know... it gets tiring. Dont write it off just yet hopefully he’ll reply soon 🙂

I managed not to reply to MrWG last night, he double texted and I still didn't respond. He didn't ask me anything, just told me how busy he was, didn't seem to require a response. And it's what he does to me anyway.

Am back at work this week after a week off. Obviously didn't get any sleep last night.

All three chats on Bumble seem to have fizzled out 🙄

onwards how come you've not met? Are you a long way away? Has he mentioned meeting? x

@noodles44 Mr Polo is a bit similar. I know he is capable of betters comms and face to face/on the phone he's totally different. I'm going to see if I can hold off messaging and see when/if he pops up again..

Unusually Ive swiped right about 20 times on tinder today. Will see if I get any matches!