Dating Thread 201: Get out from under your 3 month wonder and widen your areas

[cravingthelook]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@havecourage8bekind there are a LOT of people on there aren't there? How you getting on, any chats going?

@shayelle Currently got 30 matches, 13 chats on the go...13!! Out of them 13, only 3 or 4 can actually hold a decent conversation though. It's all a bit weird...

Oh my god, this is someone's bio "Now accepting gently used baby mummas. Low milage only - 2 kids max" WTF!?

MrCanal is on nights so communicating is pleasant but don’t think meeting this week is likely.

Again, comes back to just being mindful that the fast paced guys often aren’t good news.

I want to date and socialise with guys who enjoy their work and have social lives and fitness routines and don’t need sex straight away. So patience!

He could also be on dates I guess .

But I’d be happy to just hang out with him even if we didn’t get romantic as he’s really chill

@havecourage8bekind

I am curling my toes in embarrassment FOR that guy

I'm so fussy I never had more than one iron. Even if I do I go off them or they start the ghosting shite.

Walking date today went well (I think). Was a bright and cheery day regardless and I enjoyed the sun on my face. Now the inevitable will he/won't he message. I hate this bit!

@BLTLover me too! i keep emphasising i had 9 dates in 3 years! No one ever took my fancy.

@Shayelle2009 are you off the apps too? i do despair at what's out there and i wonder if men feel the same. Its like there is a missing section of society (for me that's tall, hot, left leaning super smart nerds) who aren't anywhere on the apps!!!

@Heartbeats0708 glad it went well! Hopefully you guys connect and arrange future dates.

Hope all other dates went well with the added bonus of great weather. I had a lovely time in the park with my children!

Glad you had a nice day @Eesha...I also despair. I had a few chats today but no one that could hold a conversation or piqued my interest.

I just want someone I feel comfortable with who is easy to talk to who I also want to have sex with.

@BLT lover yep I'm normally a 1 iron woman but then they go off etc

I know. It makes sense because they're talking to loads aswell!

I want to swipe.... but I know it's out of boredom

I was talking to some guy. He seemed ok but has long covid. I gave him my number and we texted a bit but that's died off. I saw today hes looked at my whatsapp status so god knows!

Er, so another WhatsApp question - how do you look at someone's status, and how do you know if they have looked at yours? (worried my obsessive stalking may be more visible than I thought!)

If you open WhatsApp the middle tab says status so click on that to see peoples statuses. At the bottom of that page click on and it shows you whose viewed

Hi all, I’m back after a 6 month hiatus. Well, it’s been a whirlwind!

I rejoined a couple of apps this afternoon. Matched with a very hot guy this evening, chatted for a couple of hours and he’s asked for a walking date on Monday. It feels too much, to fast, to crazy after 6 months out.

I’m going to ask more questions of him tomorrow and then decide. What are your thoughts? Would you meet somebody that fast?

@BLTLover

If you open WhatsApp the middle tab says status so click on that to see peoples statuses. At the bottom of that page click on and it shows you whose viewed

OK, there's literally nothing on that page just the option to update my own status. Noone else's and nothing to show who has viewed mine!

Screen shot with my pic cropped off the top.

@VanGoghsDog

That’s because you haven’t updated it. If it’s blank there is nothing to view ..

Also apparently if you have read receipts off it won’t show who viewed it..

What sites is everyone on?

I wonder how long an "update" lasts then? I have a status but it's been the same for years.

I usually have "last seen" turned off, then yesterday I turned off read receipts, though I'll probably turn those back on. Luckily I don't check these sorts of things, nor check if someone has checked mine. I think it would make me feel a bit paranoid!

@Onesmallstep67

I hope all continues to go well. You sound really lovely and so does he. Enjoy it and don’t worry about head being turned or not once things get back to normal.

I used to be in that space thinking he’ll see someone more toned, or shorter ( being 5’11 can feel gianty amongst all the petite perfectly proportioned ladies ) but I am me and if whoever isn’t happy with that....

I always hear of people talking via the apps...but I'm getting phone numbers thrown at me left right and center!? Is this the norm? I'm so out of my depth here..

Eesha tall, hot, left leaning super smart nerd - you've just described my perfect man. And he is
nowhere to be found on the apps. Blurry, fish-holding, denture-displaying, grandchild- parading, cliche-spouting illiterates, however, are abundant...

@havecourage8bekind i think the phone number thing might be a new lockdown thing as people want to move to meeting asap after a huge drought.

@VanGoghsDog isnt that middle bit the stories section. A friend used to have someone look at that long after they split too. Mine hasn't got any option to see who has seen it but ive never posted in stories.

@WeWantTheFinestWines we have the same taste! It reminds me when in Friends, Phoebe has to decide between the fireman and the teacher!

There definitely seems an absence of those types I've described! Though my male friends say the apps are filled with yoga teachers etc

@noodles44 Thanks for commenting. I do prefer to consider actions over words due to my ex.
Mr K does everything a partner should, well and more, he's fully embracing my farming life and drove me to collect piglets last weekend🐷 as well as helping me when he stays over.
I hope you get to see Mr G soon - once he's had a mop chop.

@VanGoghsDog drain cover also made me 🤣. I'm all for practical presents but that is something else.
Gift giving came out at 0% for me, I'm so awkward when it comes to receiving gifts but actually I do like a lot of thought to go into gifts.

Emotionally incontinent is another great phrase, I'll put that in my word bank for futire use!!

@Onesmallstep67 Hope you had a good evening with Mr V.
Its great to hear your plans for the future after your bereavements over the last 5 years. Volunteering is a great idea if you can't find a paid job straight away.
Its hard not to compare ourselves to others, my best friend is gorgeous whereas I'm ok looking but unfortunately I have the body shape of a Russian shotputter 😱
I'm sure you look fantastic and clearly Mr V agrees.