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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I think he’s using me

152 replies

Sbnlala · 19/03/2021 18:17

Background story - we just got back in contact 2 days ago. I dated him for 2 months, he went ghost.. he got back in contact like nothing had happened. Always talks about sex, says I’m his, says my flower is his etc etc. He is expecting a child from another woman in a few months.

Yesterday I met up with him, we was in the car he said he’s gona trap me with a baby now I don’t know if he was joking or not. But we was at his, I’m on my period and was in a lot of pain but we was kissing etc then he wanted me to finish him orally I said no my belly was hurting but he kept asking saying he’s nearly done and the thing that stuck with me was that he said I’m not asking u to use ur belly use ur mouth as it’s not hurting. I got angry walked out, was about to call an Uber then I remembered my house keys were in his car so I had to go back in. And he kept saying sorry then he said it’s a good sign when a woman cries. I think he was implying that it means I care about him 🤯 he then went onto saying ur crying bc ur belly hurts, I thought u was joking. But I had mentioned I was in pain a few times before we arranged to meet.

Do you guys think he’s using me?

OP posts:
TheWaif · 19/03/2021 18:18

Yes, plain as day. He's also a general piece of shit.

funnylittlefloozie · 19/03/2021 18:22

He sounds to me like the sort of man who "uses" all women, because he has no respect for them. Raise your standards, and dump this waste of skin. There are many many men in the world and the majority of them are better than this one.

Dery · 19/03/2021 18:24

He sounds absolutely awful. Horribly entitled. Nasty. Sees women as being there to suck him off and do his bidding sexually. Likes seeing women in pain and crying. So glad you got angry and walked out. Please keep away from him.

mynameiscalypso · 19/03/2021 18:26

He sounds utterly disgusting. If anyone ever told me that 'my flower' was theirs, I think I'd probably vomit.

Mistystar99 · 19/03/2021 18:31

Definitely using you Angry

Eckhart · 19/03/2021 18:32

Why do you care? Do you want to have a relationship with him?

If so, why? What does he offer you?

Tempusfudgeit · 19/03/2021 18:34

Get rid, get some self esteem, get happy. Simple.

Sbnlala · 19/03/2021 18:35

I don’t want to be with him but I do like him and want to be close to someone. It’s hard. I was doing so well when we stopped talking for numerous weeks, I felt like I moved on and now he’s back

OP posts:
QueenOfPain · 19/03/2021 18:35

This is a massive fucking shitshow. Exit as soon as you can. Another woman is going to give birth to his child in a few months, is this the best you can do for a partner? Really?

WhoAreYah · 19/03/2021 18:35

Jesus woman get rid of this piece of shit.

Ruminating2020 · 19/03/2021 18:38

@Sbnlala

I don’t want to be with him but I do like him and want to be close to someone. It’s hard. I was doing so well when we stopped talking for numerous weeks, I felt like I moved on and now he’s back
Why do you like him? What are his redeeming features? He sounds awful and you can do much better than someone who treats you with such little respect.
DuchessofHastings1 · 19/03/2021 18:39

Jesus fucking christ, I've stepped in worse.

How old are you? You must be young or don't have much self respect to put up with first class wanker.

Hes expecting a baby by someone else, he ghosted you, he talks about sex all the time, he pestered for a blow job though you said you were ill...wake up and smell what's cooking.

Get some self respect and tell this tosser where to go.

pog100 · 19/03/2021 18:42

For god's sake get real and never have anything to do with this piece of shit. How on earth can you bear to spend any time with him!

TheWaif · 19/03/2021 18:43

He's only back if you let him be back.

Dery · 19/03/2021 18:49

“Why do you like him? What are his redeeming features? He sounds awful and you can do much better than someone who treats you with such little respect.”

There’s nothing to like, OP. I think you mean you fancy him. I’m guessing that some of the bastards I read about on MN must be incredibly physically attractive so people are more willing to tolerate their bullshit. But it’s never okay. Kind, decent men are fanciable too. Wait for someone who treats women as equals not as sperm repositories.

Sbnlala · 19/03/2021 18:49

I regret letting him back into my life. I feel like I’m missing out on something though not being with him

OP posts:
SooMoony · 19/03/2021 18:52

Kick him to the kerb right now. It's better to be alone than with someone like this oxygen thief. Set your bar high and show yourself some respect.

Wanderlusto · 19/03/2021 18:52

Howk🤮

He is vile.

Joking about getting you pregnant...my fanny would clamp shut.

Not to mention he seems to think 'no' is a negotiation starting point.

Wtf would you be anywhere near thus creep? No one is good enough looking for this creepy shit.

CreosoteQueen · 19/03/2021 18:53

Yes. He is using you and he also just sounds generally awful. Please just block him and never speak to him again.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/03/2021 18:54

Have you absolutely no standards at all? For fuck's sake.

Ruminating2020 · 19/03/2021 18:54

@Sbnlala

I regret letting him back into my life. I feel like I’m missing out on something though not being with him
Better to be alone than to be with someone who treats you like dirt. You're not missing out on anything by not being with him. You will be dodging a bullet.
4Mongrels · 19/03/2021 18:54

Honestly you are missing out on nothing with him. Block him and find someone decent.

Wanderlusto · 19/03/2021 18:55

@Sbnlala

I regret letting him back into my life. I feel like I’m missing out on something though not being with him
Yeah you're missing out on keeping your sanity. You're missing out on STDs. You're missing out on being used and- abused.

I don't think fomo should apply to him somehow lol.

FabulousMeOhYes · 19/03/2021 18:55

Fucks sake 🙄😂

May17th · 19/03/2021 18:56

How old are you OP? How old is he?

You need to get rid of him. He has a child on the way and you still want to entertain him Blush Oh Dear!!