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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I think he’s using me

152 replies

Sbnlala · 19/03/2021 18:17

Background story - we just got back in contact 2 days ago. I dated him for 2 months, he went ghost.. he got back in contact like nothing had happened. Always talks about sex, says I’m his, says my flower is his etc etc. He is expecting a child from another woman in a few months.

Yesterday I met up with him, we was in the car he said he’s gona trap me with a baby now I don’t know if he was joking or not. But we was at his, I’m on my period and was in a lot of pain but we was kissing etc then he wanted me to finish him orally I said no my belly was hurting but he kept asking saying he’s nearly done and the thing that stuck with me was that he said I’m not asking u to use ur belly use ur mouth as it’s not hurting. I got angry walked out, was about to call an Uber then I remembered my house keys were in his car so I had to go back in. And he kept saying sorry then he said it’s a good sign when a woman cries. I think he was implying that it means I care about him 🤯 he then went onto saying ur crying bc ur belly hurts, I thought u was joking. But I had mentioned I was in pain a few times before we arranged to meet.

Do you guys think he’s using me?

OP posts:
NoGoodPunsLeft · 19/03/2021 18:57

Missing out on what?! A misogynistic abusive would be rapist? Ooh get me one of those.

Honestly, give your head a wobble, block him & stop dating for a bit until you can find an actual decent human being

SozzledSausage · 19/03/2021 18:57

Sounds delightful.

Are you wondering if you should just shag him or marry him? He sounds like a real catch after all.....

Bluntness100 · 19/03/2021 18:57

God op,

What a piece of shit he is. Seriously be glad you walked out. No one needs this shit in their lives. You need to find a man who treats you with respect. This is just abysmal.

Reinventinganna · 19/03/2021 18:58

How old are you and him?

Awful. All of it.

Closetbeanmuncher · 19/03/2021 18:59

Find your self respect and raise that bar because right about now its 50,000 leagues under the sea if you think this guy is even casual sex material.

I feel like I’m missing out on something though not being with him

The only thing you're missing out on is a dose of gonorrhea...

Get this nasty ass loser out of your life before you end up in a position you deeply regret.

How old are you, you sound very young.

thistimelastweek · 19/03/2021 19:00

I wouldn't want to be in the same room as this bloke never mind a relationship.

AlexaNeverListens · 19/03/2021 19:01

Be less worried about him using you and more worried about the fact that he sounds absolutely vile.
Like really, really vile.
Run for the hills.

RantyAnty · 19/03/2021 19:01

He's terrible.

What's to like about him?

imalmostthere · 19/03/2021 19:06

How old are you op?
Also not the point of the thread but for the love of god please don't refer to your vagina as a flower Confused

DuchessofHastings1 · 19/03/2021 19:10

If he looked like Tom Hardy and had a 12 inch dick, I still wouldn't go near him.

What do you think your missing out on?
Being treated like an idiot and cum sock? Missing out on baggage with a newborn baby?

MingeofDeath · 19/03/2021 19:12

I don't think this is true. No one could be this stupid.

Ilovegreentomatoes · 19/03/2021 19:23

Is he english op? I have never heard of a man refer to it as a flower before!

bookworm29x · 19/03/2021 19:24

"Your his" 🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩

Stay the hell away from him OP. He sounds dangerous.

Dery · 19/03/2021 19:26

Well, you’re missing out on being sexually exploited, him liking you being in pain and generally being treated like shit. Sounds like a good thing to miss out on. Sorry if I’ve missed it, OP, but are you very young?

woollysheeps · 19/03/2021 19:27

He is expecting a child with another woman in a few months.
Did he not trap her?
Yuck and run
You can and will find someone just not this nor unprotected sex!

Zig4zag · 19/03/2021 19:28

Get rid ASAP. You are degrading yourself by letting him use you. He has already hot one girl pregnant. You don't want to make it a list.

woollysheeps · 19/03/2021 19:28

Oh while you feel lonely reel in your friends and family
Not him!

Easterbunnygettingready · 19/03/2021 19:29

Buy a cat op... Much better to cuddle.

RantyAnty · 19/03/2021 19:33

2nd getting a cat or dog.

Lots and lots of love with them.

yahyahs22 · 19/03/2021 19:44

If you get into a relationship with him now, your life will be awful. The strain of him having a baby with someone else alone is hard, throw on top that hes awful, and you'll hate your life. Please run

Flyingf1edgelings · 19/03/2021 20:16

He is a piece of dog shit and that’s putting it nicely. He has no respect for you or the woman he impregnated and left, he will do same to you and not give it a second thought. Has no respect for women. Please stay away from him.

GentlemanJay · 19/03/2021 20:18

Sounds lovely.

merryhouse · 19/03/2021 20:53

He's having a baby.

You'll be missing a lot by not being with him, and none of it is good.

(Really he says your flower is his? ShockGrinShock)

Alonelonelyloner · 19/03/2021 21:50

I have no words.

While any woman accepts this shit from a man, all of us, to him, to society, are just part of the prize he gets for having a cock between his legs.

I'm sorry. He's absolutely disgusting.
The sooner you cut this thing out of your life like the tumour it is, the better.

Go on contraception. Get some self-respect. Get yourself ambition. Get yourself out of whatever circumstances you are in which means you have this in your life, and do not look back.
Seriously.
My heart breaks foe you otherwise.

BuggerBognor · 19/03/2021 21:55

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