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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I think he’s using me

152 replies

Sbnlala · 19/03/2021 18:17

Background story - we just got back in contact 2 days ago. I dated him for 2 months, he went ghost.. he got back in contact like nothing had happened. Always talks about sex, says I’m his, says my flower is his etc etc. He is expecting a child from another woman in a few months.

Yesterday I met up with him, we was in the car he said he’s gona trap me with a baby now I don’t know if he was joking or not. But we was at his, I’m on my period and was in a lot of pain but we was kissing etc then he wanted me to finish him orally I said no my belly was hurting but he kept asking saying he’s nearly done and the thing that stuck with me was that he said I’m not asking u to use ur belly use ur mouth as it’s not hurting. I got angry walked out, was about to call an Uber then I remembered my house keys were in his car so I had to go back in. And he kept saying sorry then he said it’s a good sign when a woman cries. I think he was implying that it means I care about him 🤯 he then went onto saying ur crying bc ur belly hurts, I thought u was joking. But I had mentioned I was in pain a few times before we arranged to meet.

Do you guys think he’s using me?

OP posts:
JackieWeaverFever · 20/03/2021 21:35

[quote Sbnlala]@JackieWeaverFever basically he said my vagina and my bum are his forever 🥴[/quote]
Do you think this is a weird thing to say to someone?

Because I think it is a weird thing to say to someone. And not in a zany cool unique way.

Lets try this instead...
Would you want your sister/mother/friend/ imaginary future daughter to date a man like this?
I guessing no - if you agree, ask yourself why?

Sbnlala · 20/03/2021 21:39

@Wallywobbles the comment made about my ass has nothing to do with anal, neither have I ever done it. 🥴

He was implying that my private parts and backside were his and no other mans..

OP posts:
RootyT00t · 21/03/2021 00:00

[quote Sbnlala]@Wallywobbles the comment made about my ass has nothing to do with anal, neither have I ever done it. 🥴

He was implying that my private parts and backside were his and no other mans..[/quote]
Mmm. Lovely.

DianaT1969 · 21/03/2021 01:19

I hope this isn't real. I hate to think that there are women around who are this dim-witted.

Sstrongtn · 21/03/2021 01:26

I feel a bit sick in my mouth. Is this what counts as love now??

So so many things wrong here. Why was he IN your bedroom on the 1st date?

Why have you been in his car it’s lockdown??

Why do you think any of the things he does or says to you are anything but disgusting?

NotaCoolMum · 21/03/2021 01:27

“Always talks about sex, says I’m his, says my flower is his etc etc. He is expecting a child from another woman in a few months.”

I threw up in my mouth a little reading this.... 🤮 he’s revolting. Surely it’s better to be alone than to be “close” to this loser?!

Time40 · 21/03/2021 01:40

I don’t know how to end it with him though

You could do exactly what he did to you - ghost him. He deserves it.

Iflyaway · 21/03/2021 01:43

I remembered my house keys were in his car

Rule number 1 in life...... ALWAYS HAVE YOUR HOUSE KEYS IN YOUR BAG/ON YOUR PERSON.

the first time I ever seen him he wouldn’t stop kissing and following me round my bedroom asking for sex.

Bottom line, he's a sex pest.

You deserve SO MUCH BETTER!

Mupp64 · 21/03/2021 02:24

Christ you pathetic

Sbnlala · 21/03/2021 02:46

@Time40 I have done exactly that!!

OP posts:
WisnaeMe · 21/03/2021 02:46

Good stuff OP 🌺

Time40 · 21/03/2021 02:51

@Time40 I have done exactly that!!

Yay!!!! Very, very well done! I'm delighted to hear it.

SoulofanAggron · 21/03/2021 03:09

Yay, well done @Sbnlala .

He's a sicko, please block him on everything and keep him blocked xxx

RootyT00t · 21/03/2021 09:42

@Mupp64

Christ you pathetic
Accurate name for you.
merryhouse · 21/03/2021 11:47

He wasn’t like this when we first got together, he was so nice even though the first time I ever seen him he wouldn’t stop kissing and following me round my bedroom asking for sex.

Sweetheart, that is not nice.

If you want a proper relationship that will last through the difficult parts of life it needs to be with someone you're compatible with. The only way to find out if you're compatible with someone is to spend time talking to them and doing general life things with them.

That's why it's a good idea not to have sex immediately. Nothing to do with morals, and only a bit to do with health. The first couple of meetings are to discount the real losers (eg the ones who've already got someone pregnant, the ones who've run up debts, the racists, the stoners, the allergic to housework) and the ones who have diametrically opposing life plans (eg whether to have children, which country to live in).

In future, don't take a man anywhere near your bedroom until you know about all this.

And don't confuse buying you stuff with love. It sounds as if gifts is one way you understand the expression of love, which is fine and don't let miserable boyfriends tell you it means you're shallow and materialistic; but it doesn't mean a present is proof of love. In this instance he's quite obviously viewing it as a transaction: he gives you Stuff, you give him Sex.

Easterbunnygettingready · 21/03/2021 11:54

He is a fucking sex pest...

Sbnlala · 21/03/2021 15:33

@Easterbunnygettingready yes I realise that now, I can’t believe how naive and stupid I have been

OP posts:
Lovelydiscusfish · 21/03/2021 16:20

@Mupp64

Christ you pathetic
Leave her alone! She’s in an abusive relationship - you want to make her feel even worse?

Christ’s sake, some people......

Lovelydiscusfish · 21/03/2021 16:22

[quote Sbnlala]@Easterbunnygettingready yes I realise that now, I can’t believe how naive and stupid I have been[/quote]
You aren’t naive and stupid, you just ran into a bad man. Loads of us have done it. Well done for blocking him, love, and now he STAYS blocked. Please. He is an abusive dickhead who will just bring you down....

Ant congrats for posting on here, and for acting on the advice. Go you! You are AWESOME! Xxx

Easterbunnygettingready · 21/03/2021 20:50

Op I wasn't implying you were stupid mind..
Flowers

Sbnlala · 31/03/2021 21:25

Hey guys I just want to give you an update: he has a new girlfriend. I did get upset seeing that he had moved on very quickly but I guess I dodged a bullet. Thankyou to all of you who helped me out of my situation

OP posts:
BurbageBrook · 31/03/2021 21:28

Poor new GF, he sounds like absolute scum. But glad you’re out of it.

Bananalanacake · 31/03/2021 21:30

Whatever you do don't let him move in with you.

Sbnlala · 31/03/2021 21:30

@BurbageBrook I’m disgusted that I even let him near me in the first place. What hurt me the most was that he posted her all over his social media but never once posted me. I know I’ll eventually find better 🤞

OP posts:
Sbnlala · 31/03/2021 21:31

@Bananalanacake he will never be moving in with me. He has moved on with another girl

OP posts:
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