He did the mash. The Geller mash.

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Thread 4. Wow. Thank you for putting up with my ramblings thus far, and for all the support - I couldn't have done it without you all.

Previous thread here

I can confirm he has purchased a masher. He sent me a picture of it and asked if it was alright

What an utter cock!

You just have to let whatever he says rolls over you like water off a duck's back. He's a fuck, you're a duck, there's no dog, he's out of luck!

Just read your other threads. Wow. Just wow. I don't know how you managed to keep your sanity raising twins and a 'man-baby'. The fact that he's now starting to expect others to 'pick up your slack' and 'do' for him shows how immature and entitled he is.

As far as the dog, either a pp is right and he simply expects things will be facilitated for him or he was planning on keeping the pup long enough for the girls to be besotted then said he was 'too busy' to keep it and told them that you'd be having it instead. Then being able to tell them "Oh girls, Daddy can't keep your puppy and Mummy refuses to keep it for you so it will have to go to !".

Just be sure you're keeping all his pathetic messages that show his inability to parent or even handle adult life.

So glad puppy-gate is a storm in a tea cup... you can relax
He really is a bastard to get the girls excited.
What will he invent next?

You have the measure of the man!

You are doing this really well.

Interesting that he is (perhaps) bringing in new things to get a rise out of you. Your attention has strayed away from him and he senses this. The masher just didn't get you worried enough.

(I'm so glad that the imaginary puppy is really safe. :) )

@StuckInPollyannaMode

^Stand down, folks.

There is no dog.

Well, there is, but her puppies were all spoken for ages ago and when Running Friend gently enquired as to whether a hound was going to Geller, Mrs Vizsla snorted and said an emphatic no.

Geller does not know that I know this. So he’s either trying to play with my mind or play with the kids.

I have a cat, I’m not getting another animal, she’s high maintenance enough as it is!

Been an up and down day. This morning I decided to step away from the thread as I was actually pretty upset. Then I realised just how much of a support you have all been over the last year - all comments, both positive and negative - have really helped me to get some perspective and enabled me to vent when to do so in real life isn’t the right thing to do.

To the naysayers, thank you for keeping me balanced and giving me an alternative view. I do appreciate it. I’m still learning how to do all this!^

I am very sorry if I was part of what upset you. It was the last thing I intended to do. I've only recently read all of your posts, and whilst not going through what you are, I've taken great comfort from your strength and resilience in the face of your situation and it has helped me to frame my own current relationship problems. I think you sound wonderful.

Well, that’s a relief! What a shock to find out that he’s made a blanket statement that will upset the kids and Polly without dosing any bloody research first.... not.

What a strange thing to do. Just proves that he really does think he speaks and the world obeys!

I think this proves it's a good thing for you to check when he makes ridiculous claims.

Not with him but as you did here with your friend.

I can say hand on heart I am not on Polly's threads because it's 'entertainment'. It's heart-breaking actually, I remember vividly how isolated and alone I felt when I was going through a horrific divorce and having a sounding board and opinions outside of the immediate situations is a relief, it gave me perspective and helped to see the situation from different angles.
Also having women supporting me gave me courage and it just actually helped me to know I had people cheering me on and wishing me well.

Keep posting Polly as long as it helps you. A lot of us have been through similar, and you are doing amazingly.

My girls went through a really traumatic time when I got divorced but if you saw them now you'd really have no idea, my eldest opted for counselling at college, she told me her biggest sadness is that DH isn't her real dad, especially when she sees how much he loves her little sisters, she wishes she had a dad who loved her like that when she was a baby. DH absolutely dotes on my older DC as do his family, but my older two are sorting through their mixed feelings, they are absolutely thriving and amazing young people. but some points in life throw up for them their own past experience.

You will get through this, just keep going.

Me too, btw... Am weighing up my own options atm. Would hate anyone to feel like an exhibit in a zoo.

Yes, I don't see this a spectator sport.

I’m a long time lurker who wishes you well. I think part of the problem you have is that whilst it’s cathartic diarising your life and enables you to have a sounding board, you expose so much of your inner feelings and turmoil. You have been writing in such an engaging and captivating way that your readers and supporters are willing you to triumph and almost Geller to lose. Of course in reality your feelings towards him are so nuanced. He’s your children’s father, you once loved him and if he fails, the relationship with your children is jeopardised and threatened.

I hope you can continue to derive great comfort and support from your thread but if you don’t feel like revealing every incident or feeling then you shouldn’t. You’ll get there. You sound like a great character - funny, witty and unsurprisingly great friends (and daughters). I rather wish I knew you in real life and I suspect many on here do too. 💐

I think the sounding board aspect to MN must be priceless for posters.

Not everyone is comfortable spelling out what a total twat they have ended up with.

Being really able to spell it out, warts and all and have others confirm, give a different perspective is invaluable.

This is a safe place for women to examine out loud but silently the noise in their heads.

I'm seconding and thirding the incredible value of the sounding board aspect of MN. It's more than 3 years ago now, but I vividly remember posting on the Relationships board for the first time and then going on to document the implosion of my marriage. Completely different situation, my husband was an alcoholic who turned abusive, but having the support and occasionally being handed a grip when the wife guilt got too much was one of the things that got me through it.

I think a lot of people like me end up on other people's threads out of a genuine desire to help someone else get out - if that is what that person ultimately wants and needs.

I am very much of the opinion that these threads are invaluable for many women who have nobody to confide in or to support them. Of course nobody posting here should feel obliged to update or share more than they feel comfortable with, but I, for one, have learned so much that I feel more confident in supporting friends and family IRL.

I have to say I'm more here because of the SEN empathy but also I guess to carry out some "honestly you can do better, adult men don't behave like this even if they have a child with SEN" cheerleading as despite his faults DH is an adult.

So pleased the dog is not going to happen. I have a relative with a working dog breed, and they really don't cope well without the right stimulation and exercise.

On the plus side, OP, you are making it clear to Geller that his games are not going to derail your new life - go you! He might try to play new games now, but you are wise to him.

And no, your life isn't our 'entertainment' - far from it. We might be strangers, but we care about what you've told us you're going through. Many others other than me are more experienced in advising you, so I don't post often - I have no right to when I haven't experienced what you're experiencing - but you do have lots of us on your side.

KOKO!!

What the others have said, how could anyone find this a spectator sport or entertaining?! It’s Polly's life not some soap opera!

Morning lovelies

I’m still here! Thank you for such kind messages and posts. I am ok, I promise.

Ridiculous start to the week due to non-Geller stuff. Which, mixed in with the Geller stuff, made for a pretty wobbly couple of days.

However. Onwards!

As far as we know, he hasn’t lodged the Acknowledgment of Service. Nor has he responded to the financial proposal stuff. It’s been a month. Wouldn’t it be great if there was a central database where you could log in and see if stuff had been done? Kind of like a planning portal.

Whatever. It’s not raining, the daffodils are out, my new underwear (sorry, lingerie) is on its way AND I bought a leather jacket. No more Mrs Mumsy.

I’m off for a run after the school run, first in a while. Am loving the Bailey Brown intense Pilates workouts.

In more important matters, I am considering trying a new and different gin. I like Gunpowder, Bombay, Tanqueray, Greenalls...any suggestions of what I should try next? I loathe Fevertree tonic, I’m a Schweppes or Lidl /Aldi equivalent girl, if that makes any difference.

Do you think I’ll get kicked off MN if I admit to not being bothered by Gin and Tonic? I mean I’ve had the occasional one in the summer but always prefer a glass of wine ... plus I’ve never tried a posh tonic

My favourite in the world is Silent Pool, but it's £££.

Nah, everyone likes what they like. I like wine too, it depends what I'm in the mood for. I also like single malt whisky and the odd rum and coke. I only drink alcohol at weekends and that in great moderation, but that only means I can spend a bit more on what I do have.

Posh tonic is lovely, makes an adult drink all by itself.

I quite like the Bombay gin but in the clear bottle.

Also have the Lidl’s Bombay Sapphire twin, in a tall round blue bottle.

The Lidl’s Aquine (sp?) gin quite nice too. It has a horse on the front. Posh bottle with stopper.

I’m also not a huge fan of Fever Tree either. Schweppes for me too!

In ‘dealing with sh*t on your own’, I unblocked my first drain yesterday.

Gawd. I sound like an old soak.

Lemon silent pool is the best!