He did the mash. The Geller mash.

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Thread 4. Wow. Thank you for putting up with my ramblings thus far, and for all the support - I couldn't have done it without you all.

Previous thread here

I can confirm he has purchased a masher. He sent me a picture of it and asked if it was alright

Ah that's amazing. Worth the hangover

I'm glad you've had such a good day, hangover notwithstanding, and well done on being honest with your FWB - it's much more likely to be fun for both of you if you know a bit about each other's history, likes and dislikes. And cuddles really, really matter.

Amazing Polly... you deserve happiness and to be adored.

He says he gets it and I can have all the cuddles I want when we meet up 😁 really looking forward to that now, nice to have it to focus on, a bit of me time!

Ahh! Your life is increasingly going in the right direction @StuckInPollyannaMode! Every day you are seeing examples of how bad your situation was before - and how very strong you have been. What lovely friends you have - and what a future you and your children have to look forward to, especially when Geller FINALLY grasps he can no longer dominate you nor his children.

Actually, whether he does or not he is, increasingly, the loser! 🌹

Good morning and Happy Easter to you all!

In the spirit of new beginnings I decided something last night. I have been desperate to visit the depths of Cornwall for years. In spite of living relatively close we never did so. I want to go to Tressilick and Porthcurno and Truro. I’m a massive fan of Rosemunde Pilcher so I’ve read about them for years. I realised last night there is nothing stopping me making that trip now, that I don’t have to stay here in case something happens when he’s got them. So, last night I found a tiny shepherds hut and once I’ve checked my dates I’m booking it for a long weekend in September. I may ask FWB closer to the time if he wants to join me, I may not. But I now have the power to make things like this happen, and I need to seize the chance. I’ll take my yoga mat and my walking boots (must buy new ones!) and pray that it’s an Indian summer.

The sun is shining and how lovely it is to have lunch plans. We’re off to church and then to friends, the one with dogs and horses and cats and a garden with a treehouse / slide thing the kids will spend hours playing on. I made my first ever chocolate roulade yesterday so I’m taking that and flowers - plus eggs for a hunt - so excited!

You are kicking it into goal, @StuckInPollyannaMode!!! So proud of you! Happy Easter to you!!!

@StuckInPollyannaMode That sounds like a wonderful day, plans made and the sun's out . You and your girls are going to have a lovely day .
The hut sounds a great idea ,it's great when you realise you can do exactly a you want with nobody pulling a face and treading on your ideas .
Have a happy Easter , here's to new beginnings 🐣

Yes, Yes, Yes, all those things you put off because he would sneer & refuse. (also, I hadn't realized he physically shunned you for 5 years previously, he can take his contempt & choke on it now can't he ?!)
I have been putting off going see my old besties, who are spread around the UK. & now I have one who is very isolated in Scotland & needs me, I of course I can't go now I really need to.... I'm so So cross that I was hindered just because of H's disapproval.....

Happy Easter, have great day, Beware of the Bolly !

He says he gets it and I can have all the cuddles I want when we meet up 😁 really looking forward to that now, nice to have it to focus on, a bit of me time!

Absolutely - but (being the boring, sensible one here), don't let that make you catch feelings for him. Most lovely, non-Gellaresque men that is, not twats are like that as well.

You deserve to feel good, Polly. Enjoy your time with him to get back on that horse. And take that affirmation that you are gorgeous and desirable with you into your amazing future.

I second the need for not jumping in heart-first. Try and keep some objectivity so you have time to not be comparing.
HOWEVER... if it’s easy and you’re not second-guessing yourself or him.... because you knew each other already... CHEERS!

Theres an option to run this german location spotter through google translate but info here : cornwall-plus.co.uk/rosamunde-pilcher-trail/

I love Rosamunde Pilcher too. I read ‘The Shell Seekers’, when I was in my second year at Uni when I had been stuck with a coercive controlling misery of a boyfriend for 18m, he wasn’t even particularly attractive. He had no redeeming features, but I was cut off from everyone and at his beck and call age 19. Reading that book gave me the courage to break up with him, it’s one of my all time favourites now.

Lovely to hear you sounding so happy Polly

So nice to hear you so positive @StuckInPollyannaMode. I love my county and I hope you have a fabulous time when you come here.

I adore RP and she is also well loved abroad and we've had several foreign film crews filming down here over the years.

If you like reading books set in particular locations, have a look at www.thebooktrail.com when I go on holiday I like to use it to find some books set in the area I'm going to and I put them on my kindle.

Ooh great tip on the book trail, thank you!

To all the RP fans, Coming Home has a permanent place on my bedside table. I’m so in love with Jeremy! @ElGuardiandenoche I can’t wait, and I will be watching all the adaptations I can get my hands on before visiting. Cornwall is so beautiful, I’ve just not made it down that far - Padstow is the furthest I’ve been.

And back in real life - the guards are firmly on my heart. I’m too fragile to be hurt and this guy genuinely isn’t a long term prospect in relationship terms, for various (not bad) reasons. Neither am I for him. He is someone I have always liked and respected and have a big soft spot for, but I’m certainly not blind to his faults! This is firmly in the fun camp for both of us. It’s just adding a bit of je ne sais quoi to everyday life which has been missing for quite some time. It might last a couple of months or a couple of weeks, no idea. But I don’t neeeeeed to know or plan it. Which in itself is liberating.

Friend at lunch yesterday after tucking into the bubbly asked outright if Geller was gay. I said no, I thought asexual. But him coming out wouldn’t surprise me.

Deep joy, I’m going to have to bite the bullet and sort out the summer holidays. He’s not going to do it and I’ve the opportunity to take the girls away a couple of times so need to get dates in the diary. Now, do I go with saying x and y is how it’s going to work in the summer, or asking if we are sticking to the same arrangements, or allocating him dates??

On the holidays, personally I'd make your arrangements and give him your dates and dates he can have as a done deal.

Otherwise I imagine you'll get sucked into all sorts of backwards and forwards discussions that he will see as a shoe in to getting your thoughts and attention.

Whatever dates you give him won't be suitable of course, but at least you can just repeat - you'll need to find a way to make it work - and then stick your fingers in your ears!

Maybe give him dates you don't want for the initial offer, then when he kicks off you can graciously concede and switch to the dates you actually want. 😉

You have half term to arrange as well!

Have you considered when of the co-parenting shared calendars?

I would either fill in the calendar (first come first served) or give him the dates that the girls are still available and ask for him to let you know which weeks he wants the girls by X otherwise you'll allocate them as you need to make plans.

@CraftyYankee ha, they don't call you crafty for nothing!!

Split holidays in half, choose whatever dates you want and lay claim to those dates.

We tend to holiday a lot in Cornwall and Devon. My girls really love it. They associate Cornwall with happiness.
I wanted to explore Cornwall initially as a lot of Agatha Christie and Daphne Du Maurier is set in Cornwall. And also cream teas are never as good anywhere else IMO.

The UK is very beautiful. I love holidaying ‘at home’. We have a cat sitter who patiently accepts our cat sitting jobs despite our growing number of cats and off we go.

I’ve booked a cottage in Devon for early summer. Then we plan on booking somewhere in Cornwall for October half term to take MIL on a family holiday.

I hope you have an amazing time.

Cornwall is the Best.
I used to live there, in a little village called Crafthole, until my ex made us move. 😡😡😡
I bloody loved that house, we never recovered from it really. Hence he's the ex.

Me too, I spent a fair few years in the West Country when I was growing into an adult.. & feel my Soul lives there still ...

re holidays, can you say you have made plans for X & X dates for the girls this summer. He will have to find a plan, summer camp, holiday plans for himself for X number of weeks, & let you know by X time, so that they are covered

Offer him two options, make sure that both fit the arrangements you’ve agreed but make sure both options work for you. Badge it as being helpful because you know he’s SO busy, but say you won’t get into extended discussions about options or alternatives. Stress that both fit within the negotiated agreement you have and you’ve been flexible by presenting options for him to pick from.

It won’t matter which one he chooses because either will suit you.