He did the mash. The Geller mash.

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Thread 4. Wow. Thank you for putting up with my ramblings thus far, and for all the support - I couldn't have done it without you all.

Previous thread here

I can confirm he has purchased a masher. He sent me a picture of it and asked if it was alright

@EiffelPower

My exh (emotionally abusive, manipulative, nasty, I've written about him on other threads under different names) tried to insist we have a virtual parents evening together. Went on about how awkward it must be for teachers to have to talk about the same child twice etc, so we MUST be in the zoom meeting together. I haven't spoken to him in person for three years, let alone seen him in the flesh (🤮), so why he think I'm suddenly going to want to be in a zoom meeting with him, who knows. He seems get little ideas in his head and runs with them! So I emailed school asking if it was OK for them to do two separate meetings and would they mind. They said they're used to it, done it loads before for separated parents, they understand the situation and why has he suddenly decided now as he hasn't shown any interest at attending ever before! (ds is in yr9)! I love that school😁 They'll have the measure of him son enough *@Polly*.

Yes, this.

We do it 'automatically where parents have different home addresses' when we've had previous dealings with the ex and when requested by parents.

DTs' school already have a bloody good idea what he's like. They'll do a separate code and if he can't manage it, oh well, what a shame.

@Sicario

Funny how these men get things all worked out in their head and are then totally incredulous when the mother/school says NO. They are so used to everyone just falling into line while they call the shots.

@StuckInPollyannaMode - agh, so sorry about your gruesome cold. Wish I could bring you a home made lasagne and a pot of chicken soup.

When they were married their wives invariably put up with their shit for a quiet life.

Now separated the ex wives can suddenly say NOPE on a loop.

Very hard for these tantruming toddler men to understand, so they push back hugely.

A paper trail is very useful especially if he is deliberately not bothering to participate helpfully with their education.

He doesn't get to decide if he can be arsed to send in homework.

Just checking in @StuckInPollyannaMode to say - you are awesome!

A man who contemplates buying a dog, but not laptops for his children, and whois so unthinkingly hurtful to carefully chosen presents from his DDs - words fail ...

You are amazing dealing with it.

And gin - I was given some Whitney Neill gin by colleagues for a significant birthday. It is quince gin. I love it - it just needs ice and a splash of water, and then it's sippable like a liqueur. No tonic needed - it's better without the fizz. But I have a mid-winter birthday, so it's a great alternative to sloe gin, and not half as sweet. I also like their violet gin, but it's an acquired taste.

Oh, and the other thing to bear in mind - and if the going gets tough, to ask ...

Is he so hopeless at work?

Is he incapable of arranging office work, printing, Teams etc etc?

Does he make such unreasonable demands of colleagues at work?

Is he rude or unthinkingly hurtful, or makes hurtful "jokes" (classic bully, line "It was just a joke") to colleagues?

Does he send multiple complaining emails to colleagues thus stopping them actually getting on with their work?

I suspect the answer to all these questions is "no". It may be worth asking him about these mattes in front of witnesses at some point eg. a mediator?

Harris gin is really good, also love the Botanist, but I do prefer Fevertree full fat tonic with them.

I was going to point out also that you have mentioned trying to lose some weight... try and avoid those fancy “gift” gins with prettily coloured powdered sugar, flavours and dehydrated fruits that you add in yourself. Tonic water alone has an extraordinarily high sugar content. You’re better off with a dry gin and adding your own fruit to avoid whopping calorie content. (It’s a fallacy that gin is low-cal these days. A lot are VERY high sugar.)

I drink gin because I like it. The calorie content is irrelevant to me as the low cal tonics are just revolting to me. If I were trying to lose weight, I wouldn’t drink alcohol.

I may try gin again tonight after all of this talk about it, particularly because I’ve just had to undo my 12 rows of crochet for the fourth or fifth time due to being a muppet and ARGH! Plus had a bad night as youngest wet the bed so have spent the last billion hours washing and cleaning hope you’re doing ok Polly

Parma Violet gin in a glass of Prosecco, throws it this weekend - mmmm lovely

Off topic but: There's a cocktail called a Black orchid. It uses creme de violette but I've substituted Parma violet gin and its delicious.

Hope all is well @StuckInPollyannaMode

Ye gods. This bloody bloody cold. It's knocked me for six. In spite of us all...roll of drums...staying in our own beds for the last 2 nights til 6.30am!! Tech limits now firmly in place.

I have started taking daily vitamins. Managed a ten minute walk yesterday and that's it. Feeling a bit better today but still looking like death.

On the plus side, I have lost 10lbs. Every cloud. And boy, did I have 10lbs to lose!

Good point about the calorie content of tonic - for the non- or low-drinkers amongst us has anyone tried Spencer Matthew's Clean Gin? It's lovely!

Not a parma violet or seville orange fan, but I have friends who are so that's their birthday presents sorted, thanking you.

@MeltsAway surprisingly, yes. His PA sorts him out. And he micromanages his team like there's no tomorrow - I'd have left because of him long ago.

I have had to email SHL today as it is driving me nuts not knowing whether or not he has responded in any way.

Love a bit of crochet action - so soothing. However, I can't join them together, so I just make lots of squares and then unravel them and make more squares. Saves on wool I suppose

Watched a Jennifer Aniston movie last night, The Switch, and had an early night. Also watched Friends With Benefits, just to prepare myself...everything going very well in that department...!

This is a fab gin cocktail.

Prosecco in the freezer, nice and cold.

Into a large glass, a measure of gin, half a level teaspoon of icing sugar, juice of half a lime, topped up with prosecco.

Delicious...refreshing, ... with the kick of a mule 😁

@StuckInPollyannaMode this mosaic crochet I’m learning is NOT soothing at the moment but I hope it will become so! My DH finds it super amusing that I’ve taken up a hobby that annoys me so much, I point out that I married him so I have form for keeping annoying things around I do love Attic24 if you’re after a soothing project, the way she writes and photographs her patterns is awesome and has ruined me for normal crochet as it’s made me lazy

You sure it's not Covid-19?

Hey Polly, have a look at Bella coco for joining your squares on YouTube , she's a really great teacher , I learned from her about 4 years ago and I still love to crochet today ( I'm a wool addict ) 🤣

@Starbonnet123 oh I like her too! Have her waffle stitch video lined up for my next project

@DartmoorDoughnut I'll have a look at that I've not tried waffle stitch . I'm making my granddaughter a texture blanket out of squares so that would be a nice addition 😊

Aherm. Was wondering about this lingerie you ordered..........!

@DartmoorDoughnut I certainly wouldn't describe mosaic crochet as soothing! Although I did the more complex there and back version as opposed to one length of yarn per row! My crochet friends (fellow Hookers) are all mad about Tinna. Polly you could just whip stitch your squares together lot quicker than crocheting them!

I’m shit at getting my squares the same size and tension 😂 I’m happy just going round and round!!

Will look up the suggestions and I have no idea what mosaic crochet is..sounds intriguing. Geller was also infuriated by my crochet, and by me being a member of WI - the number of times I missed a meeting because he was working when it’s only one night a month grrr

Have you a gin @DartmoorDoughnut?

Ah yes. The lingerie. Only one set has arrived. Kind of French grey on cream. I also may have ordered a dress as well...

@StuckInPollyannaMode I recommend taking some echinacea drops to boost your immune system back up x it tastes like pond water but really works x the drops are easier and quicker for your body to absorb than tablets x try 15 drops 3 times a day in as little water as you can bear 😁😁

@Starbonnet123 it’s meant to be super squishy and lovely, perfect for a wooly hug!

@Pashazade yes I’m doing it flat rather than in the round as my starting chain wouldn’t not twist when joining, not fun! It’s Tinna’s Arabia pattern, think I’ve cracked it now although only managed four rounds this afternoon so maybe too soon to say!

@StuckInPollyannaMode sadly not yet, but hopefully bedtime won’t take long - my boys insist on being cuddled to sleep! - I am not sure if I have any tonic though so may end up with some Ned instead!

How could your crochet irritate him and what was threatening about a monthly WI meeting??? Did it mean him putting the DC to bed?

@StuckInPollyannaMode

I’m shit at getting my squares the same size and tension 😂 I’m happy just going round and round!!

Will look up the suggestions and I have no idea what mosaic crochet is..sounds intriguing. Geller was also infuriated by my crochet, and by me being a member of WI - the number of times I missed a meeting because he was working when it’s only one night a month grrr

Have you a gin @DartmoorDoughnut?

Ah yes. The lingerie. Only one set has arrived. Kind of French grey on cream. I also may have ordered a dress as well...

Ooo french grey on cream sounds lovely , must admit I need some nice new undies , I hate buying it though as bras never fit the way I want them to .

@DartmoorDoughnut thanks for the tip , I just watched Bella and whipped up a square, it looks lovely and feels great 👍🏻 . It will be a great addition to the blanket .