BF growing weed in my house

[suzievisor]

I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I had a sort of FWB who came to stay temporarily on the 1st Jan because he got kicked out of home. Almost 3 months on he's still here - no money to move out and refuses to. Intact the council and present as homeless.

I have a 14 year old daughter and I have mental health issues (no polar). I'm absolutely useless at standing up for myself and now everything has got out of hand.

One night we were drunk he said he thought he'd like to grow weed in my attic and I kind of shrugged it off thinking it was pie in the sky. Then just like that the seeds and pots etc. Started arriving.

I wish upon wish that I'd spoken up then but fast forward and he's actually set up the plants in my spare room! He's got 6 growing strong. Says it'll be a slap in the wrist if he's caught and that nothing will happen to me but I can't find anything online with a direct answer to this.

I'm terrified, not sleeping, snapping at my daughter. He's a serious cocaine addict too. I guess I'm scared of him he has a terrible temper plus no where to go right now. I just want my home back but I'm scared and I don't know what to do.

I guess I just want some words of wisdom if anyone's out there?

Well done OP. That sounds like a real effort but you have done the right thing. Now It's absolutely worth the expense of changing the locks so you can feel secure in your home.

For someone with nowhere to go he seems to have found somewhere pretty quick!!

OP. You did well! Stay strong.

Don’t call the police!

Next time he is out lock the door- throw his stuff out the window and tell him to go and not come back.

Get one of those things where people can’t come within so and so distance of you.

She's 14. If she's not an idiot, then she'll have a fair idea of what was going on. You need to have those conversations. I cant even imagine how uncomfortable and vulnerable she may have felt with that man in her home. She could also not care, but you need to be open and honest, as well as being careful when you speak to her.

ffs get rid of him, my dd would be more important to me than a casual boyfriend. Sounds like your priorities are skewed, to have agreed in the first place.
Just hope nobody smells it and informs ss, you know it's there you have no defense.

If you don't sort this out you could lose your home if it is rented. You do really need some help and if you tell the police now it will go better for you than if they find out later.

If you told the police about the cannabis growing, they would come and confiscated the lot. There seems to be different rules about weed growing, as in how much you grow and if for your own use, or then the selling of it etc.

It is a criminal offence to cultivate any plant of the genus cannabis in the UK without a licence from the Home Office.

That's it.

Differing police forces may have a different view on how best to use their resources to proceed with cases dependant on other factors. But that's an operational issue, not a legal one.

I'm not going to call the police. Unless he comes back and kicks off obviously

Social services are far more likely to be involved if it’s demonstrated you didn’t safeguard your child. Call the police, demonstrate that you have acted proactively to keep your child safe and they won’t have concerns (unless there are more things behind the scenes !) and , if they stay open, will just put supportive things in place - which sound like they could be of use .

But now if I do have to call the police it will be a domestic violence violation rather than a drug one so I feel like I can relax somewhat knowing there's nothing in my house anymore

@Confusedandshaken I was just having the same thought. A couple of phone calls and everything including him is gone!

Get your act together and dont be associated with drug users or growers. And kick him out, if he refuses call the police. He isnt paying rent, so has no right to stay there

Are you a COMPLETE idiot. Grow a backbone, call the police, tell them he refuses to leave, is growing illegal drugs in your home and becomes violent whenever you confront him and have him arrested.
You have a 14 year old to think about.
I have a chronic mental illness too and still manage to work full time for the NHS and have raised a child on my own.
They will take your child away from you if this comes to light and you have done nothing about it.

Your daughter has probably told some of her friends there was weed growing in her spare room.

I would suggest both contacting Women's Aid and also doing the Freedom Programme so that you can work out why you are so vulnerable to abusive men and make the necessary changes. Until then I would build in a period of being single so that you can learn deep down that you don't need a man to make you happy.

Oh my bank card is gone. Well I wish him luck with that lol

There's nothing on it but ill cancel it anyway

You need to report him to the police! You'll end up in serious trouble if you don't and Ss would take a very dim view of it if you're found out.

Message him 'I'm you use my card I will report you to the police for theft'.

*if

Is your daughter staying away from home tonight, but starting back to school tomorrow? Where are all her school things?

But then her friend will also tell her friends that her mother kicked the guy out.

Check for your passports ect.
And see if you can get a free credit rating ect...

He stole your bank card ffs, he could be running any other kinds of cons.

I'd actually speak yo the police now tbh.

Ooh and the freedom project is brilliant!

@HollowTalk

But then her friend will also tell her friends that her mother kicked the guy out.

Yeah, that won’t be much help if they’re talking about it in school tomorrow. If a teacher hears it they will have to report it.

@MaLarkinn

You need to get rid.

My friend is currently out on bail, signing on 3 times per week, social services and school have been informed.

She's looking at 3 to 4 years.

He said it would be a slap on the wrist too............

At the very least you would be charged for allowing your home to be used as a grow house.

If home is council owned you could lose your home.

Please kick him out.

THIS

You are getting confusing and at times, a bit shouty advice on here. Please don't feel you have to rush to do what everyone says. I do suggest you seek confidential advice about the best course of action, maybe from women's aid or similar. And please don't beat yourself up, even though some people are being very harsh. I can't begin to imagine how much courage it took to do what you did today.

Hopefully there will be a way you can help this obvious wrongun being brought to justice, even better to to choose a better life for himself. But you must also keep yourself and daughter safe, mentally and physically.