Drinking in the morning - everyone does it, right?

[fedup078]

Even when they have young kids?
Totally normal yes?

Well he's just told me to ask around. Don't fancy asking my friends so here we are
I'm being told this is totally normal and everyone does it, so why shouldn't he.

Drinking in the morning shows that you cannot get through the day without alcohol, a true sign of alcohol dependency. I would advise a trip to Alcoholics Anonymous, for the sake of your relationships and life.

No it isn't normal. Just before lunch at 1230 is the earliest and that would be after a very long walk or strenuous physical labour in the morning.

Df is alcoholic, he never drinks before mid day. And only on Sunday before 5pm

Red flag for alcoholism.

The only person I've ever known drink in the morning (apart from Christmas) is my alcoholic mother

Why are you asking an internet forum if something is normal which you must know is not. At all. He's an alcoholic I assume.

Why are you asking an internet forum if something is normal which you must know is not.

Did you not read the OP? He suggested she ask around. He doubtless correctly assumed she wouldn't want to discuss this with her RL friends, but she's called his bluff magnificently.

I have lots of friends who drink wine whilst cooking the Sunday roast. It's relaxing.
So I would say:
Christmas Morning normal..
Sunday roast mornng normal.
Any other morning just no.

well he is right... everyone drinks in the morning when they are alcohol dependent.

He just missed off the last bit.

Saw your update - good luck

Meant to say. I do too
Partake of wine on a Sunday morrn/afternoon while I'm cooking.
Then we have a glass while eating the roast.

From experience, it doesn’t matter what time of day/night it is. The problem is that he’s sneaking it.

Coffee yes! Alcohol? never !

It sounds like you can't do anymore for him.
I'm sorry, you and the kids deserve better than this excuse of a husband and father.

@Yellow85

From experience, it doesn’t matter what time of day/night it is. The problem is that he’s sneaking it.

I'm of two minds. If the OP is acting like the Pohibition Police Then that will make him feel the need to be sneaky. playing devils advocate

Christmas day, yes. My 40th birthday champaigne brunch yed. Otherwise no.

Buck's Fizz Christmas morning otherwise no

@GoLightlyontheEarth because he gaslights me to the point I start to doubt myself so I need to hear it from other people

I think the same thing happened last Sunday but I couldn't prove it. This morning I did prove it.

Basically he is saying I need to leave if I'm not happy. I suppose I don't have a choice if he refuses to leave . I poured the rest down the sink and he's just been to the shop to buy more.

Mil took dc so we could thrash it out but there's no point. He genuinely doesn't think he has a problem

I've been very stupid for giving him so many chances previously

Nope, not even at music festivals or weddings... I’ve maybe had Buck’s Fizz before noon 3 or 4 times in my life on special occasions.
I can’t think of. Anything worse than drinking alcoholic drinks in the morning, I’d be asleep by lunchtime.

No, not normal, don’t let it become your normal.
My ex was like this, cracking open a beer as soon as the clock struck 10am, drinking for the next 12 hours, moving from beer to gin or rum, have his head down the loo throwing up the dinner I had cooked and £££ worth of booze before passing out. So many promises were made that he would stop, he didn’t. Towards the end of our relationship he used to get in his car after work and drive home with a can of beer in his lap.
Seriously, you do not want an alcoholic in your life, the constant lying and false promises will destroy you.
Easy for me, I ended the relationship, no kids together so blocked on everything and yes I did report him for drink driving. I don’t know what or if anything came of it.

I'm honestly confused by all the people saying they'd have a morning drink at the airport. Airplane flights are unpleasant enough as it is, I can't imagine how drinking would make it any better. I've flown a lot and never seen anyone do that. Is it a british thing ?

Anyway, obviously not normal and obviously he knows it since he's trying to hide it. I would actually ask around, with him present so he can see the disgusted reaction of other people, and so he can't lie about it to them. That is if you care at all. Else, just leave.

The hour of the day is not massively significant. My FIL had a large tot of rum in his coffee every morning (habit from his military days, he said.)

That was FIL's only alcoholic drink of the day though. If his morning 'tot' had signalled the start of the day's drinking which went on till bedtime, of course it isn't normal.

It is something my mother would have done, she was a raging alcoholic and died 21 years ago of septicemia brought on by cirrhosis of the liver.

She also had the lying, deception and gaslighting down to a tee.

I know no one, who isn't alcoholic, who regularly drinks in the morning, unless it is a special occasion. The last time I did that, it was a mimosa at my hotel on holiday, but at the end of a very big breakfast.

Maybe try an Al Anon meeting online. You’re dealing with an alcoholic whose disease is progressive (and already well-progressed if he’s drinking in the am). Good luck

So sorry OP. If you can’t leave just at least start making a plan to. He won’t change until he wants to and in the meantime your life will be one lie after another. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

@likeamillpond

Meant to say. I do too Partake of wine on a Sunday morrn/afternoon while I'm cooking. Then we have a glass while eating the roast.

Why?