Drinking in the morning - everyone does it, right?

[fedup078]

Even when they have young kids?
Totally normal yes?

Well he's just told me to ask around. Don't fancy asking my friends so here we are
I'm being told this is totally normal and everyone does it, so why shouldn't he.

Out of curiosity, what time was it and what was he drinking? I do believe these things would affect my perception of this situation

@hullabaloo19 It must have been around 11am
However , last weekend I'm convinced he was half cut at 9.30am but I couldn't prove it
This morning I made a note of how much wine was left in the bottle . I shouldn't have to be doing things like that but I proved myself right .
He has just said he will leave but it will take him a while to find somewhere .

Every alcoholic that he knows does it but for those that aren’t alcoholics then the answer is no

Once in a blue moon. Maybe on Christmas or on holiday.

Oh and it's always wine

He doesn't know any other people who drink in the morning or to his excesses he is making it up

Good God no

Not normal.

Apart from christmas day.

God I could have written this post a year ago. I'm trying to separate, but three children, job loss, Covid etc has made it very tough. He won't leave, he has the financial independence and he's 'very sorry' it's about me now and not living my life screaming into the abyss.
I really hope your able to make a break for it OP, it will never stop, and he will never change.

And I suppose I didn't create this thread because he told me to ask people I just need to hear it from people who aren't him or people we know in order to cement what I already know despite the lies and gaslighting

No, it’s not normal.

Drinking in the morning is the sort of thing that’s only ever been occasional for me, if there’s something like an early wedding or Buck’s Fizz on Christmas morning. Although I’ve never done the Buck’s Fizz Christmas morning thing since DC.

No, that's called alcoholism.
My ex step-dad would be drinking by 10am, sometimes earlier. It's not normal.

I knew 3 people very well who drank in the morning. They were all alcoholics and they all died from it before the age of 55.

Drinking in the morning is no where near normal.

For some reason (not sure why) the fact it's wine makes it even less normal. To me, wine is definitely not a morning drink, unless you include champagne or bucks fizz, but that's on special occasions or when you go out for brunch. Somehow a can of beer or cider at 11am is slightly more acceptable if it's the weekend and that's all it is, a can. And I would have thought it's fairly common to have a glass of something with a meal at the weekend. Though neither of those scenarios particularly usual with little kids around.

So sorry @fedup078 can he go and stay with his parents until he finds somewhere?

@DartmoorDoughnut he's refusing

No not normal the only times I have drunk in the mornings is on my wedding day and on Christmas mornings.
When skiing may have a hot wine around 11.30 if we stop but this is pretty rare.

If we were in the throws of summer and were in the garden I'd say a glass of wine at 11am on a weekend isn't a massive issue per se but at 9.30am.... That only happens on Xmas morning for me or if we're at the airport going on holiday.

However given what you're saying it does seem to be an issue and that's not OK.

You are living with an alcoholic.
Get in touch with Al Anon, they help families of alcoholics.

Morning drinking, and vomiting before the morning drinking. Your husband needs to face facts and get help.

As a pp said don't let this be the normal.

Nope, absolutely not. And I love a glass of wine .... (evenings only) ... unless it's a sherry before lunch on Christmas Day - the only exception.

Sorry to hear this. Protect yourself and your kids, get all of your paperwork together, your money sorted and ensure you and the kids are safe. Ask him to leave, start divorce proceedings. Your kids deserve to live a happier life than the one they will get with an alcoholic father.

It's not normal.

So sorry OP.
You are doing the right thing. There is no future in this for you until he properly stops.

You realise that if he doesn't leave today, he isn't going to leave?

Not even when I had a drink problem did I drink in the morning. It's definitely not normal.

@fedup078 I am so sorry you have endured this. You have a moment now to get him out of the house. He says he will leave but he won’t - that’s just throwing you a bone and time wasting to get through today.

Alcoholics live on a 24hr cycle - he is not capable of finding somewhere to live. You need an intervention here with his family and friends - they need to come and pack him up right now to either stay with them whilst they sort rental accommodation for him.

Sunlight is the best disinfectant.

You don’t need to thrash this out again - there is nothing further to say.

Actions

Involve others to manage him and support you.

Protect your own MH and your DCs.

Know that moving him out is a gift to him if he cares to unwrap it at any point. Anything else at this point is enabling and inadvertently makes you complicit in it.

Keep posting here.

Many of us have walked this path.......and will support you.