Thankyou for your kind words everyone. I have just skim read the last posts and lots of you want to know how it went.
It started with a very typical ‘him controlling the mood of the day’ again. Another lovely day planned and he decided to be in a mood to ruin it.
I was planning to have a conversation with him that night but spent the time he was ignoring me to try and formulate a good sturdy argument as he typically is very difficult to have a discussion with!
On the way home he began needling away at me, needle needle needle, trying to make me argue or crumble but I stayed strong, I was biting my lip as I wanted to scream at him what I thought of his behaviour.
I said ‘I don’t want to talk about this now, DD is in the car’
He continued anyway so I ignored him.
Got home, put DD to bed and the conversation began. I struggle with difficult conversations and shut down completely but finally he said after lots of tears ‘do you want me to leave’
I said yes, so he did the dramatics of packing some things and finally began his manipulation of ‘you can’t do this to DD, you will ruin her life, you are taking her parents away from her etc’ which hurt, a lot.
But! I was steadfast.
He drove off and the relief was palpable…. I couldn’t believe it. I figured he had gone to his relatives house close by but no - he drove to a friends 250 odd miles away, and has been there since.
I won’t bore you with the ins and outs but after some arguments he agreed to have DD for some time on and off while I worked.
My boss has been amazing and allows me to bring DD to work (she is very good and no trouble whatsoever, my colleagues love spoiling her with colouring books and things to do whilst I’m busy)
And I can work from home on the days he doesn’t have her.
So far the finances haven’t been sorted out, but as I was sole earner anyway it’s not been trouble, just careful with things :)
I am doing the finances tonight and going to see what benefits I’d be entitled to.
Some school mum friends have offered wrap around childcare when school starts again.
Overall, those friendships I worked hard to cultivate despite his difficult behaviour have really come through and I feel like I have my ‘village’ which is astonishing. I’m so grateful.
I have just got home after a full days work, and the house is pristine, the cats greeted me and one is happily purring on my lap as I type this!
Life is better, and I feel it is only going to get better from now.
Also - I am looking at driving lessons but absolutely NO where is taking on new learners at the moment due to wanky covid, I am on some lists and will continue to look as that will change our life for the BRILLIANT!
Thankyou again 💗