If your DH/DP adores you, what is your secret?

[ZednotZee]

We all know those couples where the male partner visibly adores his wife/partner.
If you are in such a relationship can you tell me what you think it is about you that makes him so devoted to you?

I am in such a relationship and I suspect the reasons for this, just wanted some other opinions.

OP, tell us a little about your partner's background - his parents and childhood. The answer will lie there.

Just asked DH and he said ‘coz you’re really fucking funny’.

He’s not wrong.

This thread should be called... aren't I great

I get where you’re coming from @AnotherSunrise. In my previous relationship, I was far from adored.
Quite the opposite in fact. But it is helpful to hear the other side. I am very thankful to have experienced both.

DH died last year. But he adored me because I was his soulmate, because I made him laugh, because I cared for him and loved him deeply, because we shared values and desires and interests. But mostly because I was his person and his best friend.

Hi @peachgreen, not the first time I've thought you seemed to have been blessed in your marriage and I hope you're doing ok atm.

FatCatThinCat That’s so lovely to read. ❤️

Thank you @TaraR2020. I really was, he was just the absolute best husband and father anyone could ever want. I'm doing okay. Ups and downs. I miss him intensely but am so grateful to have had him.

@peachgreen I'm pleased you're doing alright for the most part. Everything seems like a trite platitude when discussing someone's grief but, for what its worth, i've thought of you and your children since we bumped into each other on another thread and wishing you well.

My DH and I adore each other. We are best friends. Our friends call us the annoying couple. They don’t understand just how much we love each other.

We’ve been together for 20 years, always listen to what the other has to say. We are interested in each other’s days. We care for each other greatly.

I’m (apparently) quite quirky, life is never dull. We make each other laugh a lot. As in snort laughing 🤣 We both agree that you have to “find the funny” in every day life.

I think humour and communication is absolutely key xx

I think you might be on to something, OP. My DP said that our first date was the only first date he's ever been on that he actually truly enjoyed and had fun on. He said he was amazed that I looked so girly and was very polite then half way through dinner announced that I'd sold a pair of manky old trainers to a foot fetishist on eBay I remember him roaring with laughter. I also remember pausing for a second before I told that story because it's not really a first date story but then thinking "I know he'll find this funny" which was mad because we'd only just met so I really didn't know anything about him. Right from the start we just had that magic 'click' that people talk about.

My DP is the first man I've ever been with that I can say with confidence absolutely adores me and everyone in my life has said they can see the connection between us even though we're not all over each other in company. I think it's because we can be our complete selves around each other, there was never that period of being on best behaviour. We have always treated each other incredibly well but I think that's just because we really do like each other as people. I think we've just been really lucky to find a great friendship in each other with the added bonus that we really fancy each other too!

Probable have to be nice to them and have sex with them. And be attractive.

But I wouldn't know!

We have the same sense of humour so maybe that really is the key.

I also didn't shag other people or leave him for another woman so that's possibly part of it too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

FatCatThinCat
My husband is autistic and spent his entire life alone until he met me. I'm nothing special but I'm the only person he's ever met who saw the man behind the condition

This is lovely

Why would you be in a relationship with someone who didn't adore you? And equally why be in a relationship with someone you don't adore?

Relationships aren't worth the hassle unless you're crazy about each other.

Some of the apparent quotes on here sound more like something out of a Hallmark card

I agree with the pp who said some people have a capacity to show a lot of love to their spouse, maybe they said it better. Dh and I are both like that.

When I was working tonight he came into my office and asked me a question. We solved it together but as he walked out, he l had a huge smile and told me he knew I'd solve the issue. So maybe some husbands have a huge faith in us for reasons we don't expect.

I suspect it says a lot more about his kind and loving nature than me. He is utterly devoted to me. I, in the other hand, have been described as a nippy sweetie. Which I think means I'm quite sharp tongued.

We have a lot in common and enjoy being together ❤. I'm definitely a lot more critical than he is but he does absolutely adore me. It's his best quality😇

Also I met my husband in a club he came home with me and never really left
We were married within 3 months and have been together 22 years this summer
He’s kind to animals and my mad parents
But he won’t take any crap from people either
I know he absolutely adores me even when I’m driving him nuts
He’s a much nicer person than me

I’m smart and funny, with big hair and massive tits, and I’m a frequent and enthusiastic lover. He’s a very serious brainiac in a serious brainiac job working with other serious brainiacs and I can pull him out of his rabbit holes and get him to have a bit of fun and enjoy life outside of work. He can’t believe his luck, and neither can I to be honest. He makes me feel very loved. When I met him it felt like a jigsaw piece had slotted into place.

he makes me laugh every day as I do him,we respect each other and ultimately feel we bring out the best in eachother.he tells me every day how much he loves me and puts up with my hormonal moods!

Isn't it a given that your partner adores you and vice versa? Otherwise what's the point?

Adore is a bit over the top and not a word I'd tend to use, but we just get on. We're just mates really, but with extra bits. He's never made me feel insecure or kept me waiting for confirmation or evidence of his feelings for me. He's just an all round good egg.

I have a theory that people need to be the right level of “broken” for each other. DP and I both had sad, messy, family backgrounds and were not in great places when we met. We understand each other, we feel safe together because we know the other person has seen us at our worst, we make each other better and we have the same desire to create the loving wholesome family we never had.

I’ve been with people who had happy childhoods and felt like they never fully got me. And I dated someone even more troubled than me, but she dragged me down and I couldn’t hope. My partner has the Goldilocks amount of trauma xD

My husband and I just get on really well, we have lots of board games we like to play together, we do jigsaws, both like a few drinks, watch some tv together- he doesn’t adore me enough to watch all the reality show rubbish I like!

I know he loves me very much and he wanted to get married; he’s reliable which is really important to me having dated very unreliable men before and he’s kind. We also have a million in jokes and call each other the same pet name. I’m more coupley with him than I ever thought I’d naturally be.

I think in most relationships one person loves the other more; but as close to 50/50 as you can get is ideal

@WilliamMorrisdancer

I am very masculine in my sense of humour and outlook on life

Could you elaborate, OP?

Yes I'd love to understand this more, thanks