How much did he/should he spend on your engagement ring?

[BlingRing1]

Just curious what everyone's thoughts are nowadays? I've heard of the '3 month's salary rule' (although i also heard it was 2 months and 1 month, so who knows!), but that's from a long time ago. Is it still relevant now? If not then what is better?

How much did he spend (either in £ or relative to salary)? Was it more or less than you thought/hoped he would?

Does it matter to you (honestly!)? Should it matter?

Well my darling husband spent 3 million on mine and I demanded he take it back and get an even blingier one. I don't want that cheap tat on my perfectly manicured hands!

Sounds a bit mercenary to me. The de Beers campaign obviously worked though, as apparently a lot of women think that their worth as a wide can be measured by how many months salary he spends on a diamond!

FWIW my DP is a high earner (6 figures) but I would be really annoyed if he spent thousands on a ring for me.

Have been together several years and if/when we do get engaged I have told him I’d like to wear my mum’s engagement ring which is a beautiful Edwardian diamond ring (its apparently worth £4K, I’d assumed it was more like £400 when I told him this, then had it resized and valued at the same time and was bowled over!!)

He bought me an eternity ring a few years ago which was about £1.5k and that was more than enough. We went in with an idea about something subtle and then saw this cluster of super sparkly smaller diamonds and we had to have it! I’d honestly rather continue wearing this and just put it on the other hand rather than have him spend more money, especially if it was supposed to be the value of 1/2/3 months salary - I could have a new car for that!

Mine was £160 and a lot of money for us at the time and I still love it. Seriously, why would the cost of your ring bother you so much? Do you think he doesn’t love you enough because he didn’t spend all he could - on a ring?....

Worth as a wife
FFS phone

Our situation was different because we didn’t buy any of our rings. The reason being my 3 rings are all heirlooms from my family (wedding ring was my great nans, eternity ring was my nans and engagement ring was my mums). I was more than happy to have all 3.
We had a 3 month engagement and planned the wedding within 2 months. Got engaged 13th January 2015, set the date mid February 2015 and got married 9th April 2015.
I already had my Nan’s ring because I’d had it for years and wore it on my right hand. I was a student and went home for Christmas. My then parter and I had discussed marriage and both agreed we wanted to, but we weren’t actually engaged yet. My mum knew we wanted to get married and so she gave me her ring to take back home and give it to my then partner, so he had it ready for when he was ready to propose. (He wouldn’t propose without a ring and we also had a baby on the way. We all knew he couldn’t afford what he wanted to give me, and all I wanted was to be engaged and married before I was showing and the baby was born). When I went dress shopping mid February, as soon as the date was set, my family came to go with me and I was given my great nans ring then.
My husbands ring was a ring he’d had for years but never ever worn. He was happy to have that as his wedding ring.

Nobody gives a shit how much your shiny ring costs.

@SandrasAnnoyingFriend

What a load of outdated sexist bullshit

Hear hear.

DH earns loads of money and I don’t have either an engagement or a wedding ring. The ring I wear is a silver one that he bought me when we were travelling around Italy in our twenties and it cost the equivalent of about 50 quid back in the days of lira.

When I start hearing ‘should’s about a piece of jewellery, and people reciting ‘rules’ about months of salary from a DeBeers’ advertising campaign, I really wonder about the mentality. Is that how you value yourself?

Oh and I paid for my own ring because it was a joint decision to get married. I chose it myself too 😱

I wouldn't want have wanted him to spend too much though. Because we never looked I'd have no idea how much rings are.
The ones I have are exactly what I'd have wanted anyway.
It's no about the money or cost

Similar to pp, my ring cost nothing. It belonged to my great grandmother, who all the family say I take after, I never met her as she passed before I was born, and I obviously have the same hands as the ring fits perfectly - was too loose on my mum or gran as they are tinier - so no one else has ever worn it and its beautiful and victorian. Feels meant to be. In fact priceless, and I couldn't love it more.

I got married in my early twenties so salaries were lower. I think it cost around £600 (25 years ago).

Had I got married later on, we could have perhaps have afforded more.

Age at marriage must also be a consideration for affordability.

How long will it take before people understand that proposals/weddings aren't about the cost? You can't buy a happy marriage.

Instagram likes when you post your engagement pic won't guarantee you won't be divorced in a year's time.

A friend of mine was very annoyed that she didn’t have the biggest diamond out of our group of friends. It didn’t matter that she had the best quality diamond, she wanted the biggest diamond so people would oooo and arrrr over it. She also saw her pregnancies as her ‘retirement’. You sound similar OP.

I didn't want one. Or a wedding ring. My marital status is nobody's business so I don't want to be 'branded.'

3.50 from Charing Cross market. Can't wear it anymore, but I live what it symbolises.

My engagement ring was specially bought by someone who loves and cares about me - you can't out a price on that!

@SandrasAnnoyingFriend

What a load of outdated sexist bullshit

This

I think mine was about three months salary at the time. He proposed with a cubic zirconia coz he knew I'd like to choose my own. I love my ring. We then went ring shopping and I tried them in to find the nicest on me. It's really the only jewellery I wear, together with diamond stud earrings from my parents. Although now my fingers are too fat and it doesn't fit. So there's that.

Mine was £38.
I wear it every day (throughout babies, and small children, and jobs that have involved a lot of hand washing) and it is as good as new.

I don't think I would be thinking of marrying a man that thought it was a good idea to spend a month's salary - potentially two months' mortgage or rent payments on a piece of jewellery. It would just show what different life values we had.

Obvious goady troll is obvious

Second husband, Not even half a months salary, some people would think small, but we designed and had it made for us. It is full of meaning to us.
First husband gave me a big flashy ring, but I have since realised it and I were just another trophy for him to exhibit.

He spent nothing on mine, I didn't have one. I asked him and spent £40 on a ring for him so he knew I was serious.

@SandrasAnnoyingFriend

What a load of outdated sexist bullshit

The correct answer.

Here is mine Op.

How much did you spend on his ring?