How much did he/should he spend on your engagement ring?

[BlingRing1]

Just curious what everyone's thoughts are nowadays? I've heard of the '3 month's salary rule' (although i also heard it was 2 months and 1 month, so who knows!), but that's from a long time ago. Is it still relevant now? If not then what is better?

How much did he spend (either in £ or relative to salary)? Was it more or less than you thought/hoped he would?

Does it matter to you (honestly!)? Should it matter?

Minimum five figures.

Why is there always this theme of the cheaper the ring then the better a person you are and the more worthwhile your relationship is ? Why is it Ok to also lay into people who do like a bit of bling ? Can you imagine if I said - there is no way I would wear some cheap bit of shit ? Sounds like your partner doesn't value you very much ? Rude, eh ? Each to their own and to their own circumstances .

@BehindMyEyes

Why is there always this theme of the cheaper the ring then the better a person you are and the more worthwhile your relationship is ? Why is it Ok to also lay into people who do like a bit of bling ? Can you imagine if I said - there is no way I would wear some cheap bit of shit ? Sounds like your partner doesn't value you very much ? Rude, eh ? Each to their own and to their own circumstances .

This! The pride of the 50 quid Argos’s, fair play and all that, but there’s another way too that’s just as meaningful as your coke tin can ring. it’s just inverted snobbery.

Winner of the most Outdated, Sexist Claptrap Post award, goes to...

My first engagement ring was lovely but cheap it’s what we could afford ! 25 years later I am the proud owner of a very expensive ring 💍 because my husband can now afford it ! It doesn’t matter how much a ring costs it’s how much u love each other at the end of the day ! X

Surely if you like it then thats all that matters? The cost shouldnt come into it really.

Well I've had a few haha. DH was keen to get engaged pretty quickly, I was not so bothered but told him I would be happy with a long engagement. We were skint, I was a student and I believe it cost around £50 from Argos. It was pretty and I liked it.

When we were both working and had better incomes he wanted to replace it, he got me a beautiful tanzanite ring which was about £130 I think. I love that ring, I even paid to have my wedding band specially made to fit round it but sadly the band on my engagement ring was too thin and it started to wear through.

Around this time I won some money, I'm not much of a jewellery person but I wanted something I would wear every day. Me and DH had a conversation about it and he was happy for me to replace my rings. I bought a beautiful platinum set for myself which is much less likely to get damaged. They cost about £3k a huge expense (to us) that had I not won a considerable sum I wouldn't have ever considered.

My engagement ring from my first H was over £3000 30 odd years ago, he used some of his inheritance for it. He buggered off and left me with two small boys, never to be seen again.
My second engagement ring was about £1500, we've since divorced but that ring meant so much more to me.
I sold the first one some years ago to help pay towards driving lessons for said small boys. The other I'm keeping for DD whenever she'd like it.

Why is there always this theme of the cheaper the ring then the better a person you are and the more worthwhile your relationship is ?

I do think I am a better person the OP though. Not because cheap ring v expensive ring, but because of the attitude displayed. I don't think my relationship is more worthwhile than someone who wears a 10k ring but I do think it's with more than the relationship of someone like OP with their sexist and outdated pish.

Why is it Ok to also lay into people who do like a bit of bling ?

It's not, but it's ok to disagree with certain attitudes. I'm not referring to everyone who wears an expensive ring, just the insert word of choice ones.

Can you imagine if I said - there is no way I would wear some cheap bit of shit ?

I would laugh tbh. Like I said, the rings don't even get worn anymore.

Sounds like your partner doesn't value you very much ?

This is something that absolutely does not come from the cost of a ring though. Men are spending thousands on a ring and still being a count to their wife. Placing relationship value on a ring is wrong in both scenarios

Rude, eh ? Each to their own and to their own circumstances .

It's not rude to respond to a question with an answer

Men are spending thousands on a ring and still being a count to their wife.

This is the vision I have in my head now...

@PurpleDaisies

I think what matters is that the person doing the proposing has discussed it enough and listened to the person they're proposing to to get what matters to that person - whatever that is.

Personally, I'd never want to someone to buy me something that makes them wince, that does not appeal to me at all, and my favourite glittery things like blue goldstone or olivine are on the cheaper side (if he'd bought me the 'traditional' diamond, I'd have known he hadn't been listening to me, really not my thing).

Mine spent ~£20, bought at a university market we were walking through a couple months after he proposed when he spotted something he thought I'd like. We were 18 and 19 and living on one student loan and what I'd saved through high school and been given as a graduation present (I wasn't legally allowed to work on the visa I was on at that time) so neither of us had a salary to calculate a percentage off of. I lost that one during a very excited conversation where it flew into or possible behind a supermarket freezer. Shortly after that, for about a fiver (I think, this was a while ago) I had a beautifully decorated wooden ring that I loved and stuck well to my tiny fingers, but after about a decade the wood split.

Having gone through a few rings, I now wear a silicone band that cost about a tenner for a set of 4 (I still have 3 of them...). I absolutely love it, it's so comfortable, fun to fidget with, and I love the look of it - I much prefer matte to metallic shiny. Funnily enough, it's actually sold as a man's silicone ring - I prefer the thicker band.

Bloodywhitecat.So sorry to hear that .Sending hugs to you xxx

Mine was around £80 - I picked it. It’s just a simple silver ring with a pearl set in it. I don’t like diamonds, or other shiny stones. I wouldn’t have wanted him to spend more than that on it either. It’s a token to mark the moment, nothing more. I don’t wear it every day either. But it’s still special.

I have no idea what mine cost - funny thing is I know where the receipt is but I would never look at it. My fiancé picked it out himself and that’s good enough for me, I never understand why some women insist on picking their own engagement ring! Then post on social media at how shocked they are that they’re engaged! Give it up 🙄 My mother in law told me that when she went with him to pick my ring, he knew exactly what would suit me and what he wanted to get me! And I never spoke to him about rings so boy did good! It’s a lovely dainty ring as I only have little hands and fingers! Bless him ♥️

My first was made of 3 paper clips woven together which I love and still love and look at regularly when sorting through my jewelry box. DH bought a proper one when purchasing my wedding ring. I think it was about £150 20 years ago.

OP I don’t understand the tone of many pp who seem very judgemental of you for stating something that is not out of the ordinary. Lots of people spend a lot on engagement rings. I believe mine was expensive, I love it, I am not ashamed

Am I the only one who has no idea what my ring cost? It’s classic platinum and emerald cut diamond which is what I wanted and very me - classic and elegant

Everyone has areas where they splurge and for us it’s nice holidays as in travelling rather than posh hotels. Not interested in cars (have functional cars rather than flash) and like the jewellery I like rather than basing it on the price tag attached.

Mine was £80 and I got 10% off as the sales assistant was my mums neighbour.

I didn't want a big diamond, and so he let me pick it. (I don't wear it often, I prefer just the wedding band.)

Our wedding rings were £500, very simple platinum bands.

@Holly60 - it was the 3 months salary that I'm amazed at. It's not what it costs - it's the cost relative to the financial position. I seriously doubt your valuable ring amounted to 3 months salary?

@PurpleDaisies

The bar is already low enough these days.

My “bar” is about how I am treated, not how much money is spent.

Yes!

I’ve no idea what my ring cost. It’s handmade (made to DH’s design) it has a 1ct centre diamond, two smaller either side and 26 little diamonds - it’s 1.5c altogether and is platinum.
I’d love to know! I ought to get it valued for insurance. I think I said 7k

£4k. Wedding ring was £1k. And he treats me with respect and love every day.

@SandrasAnnoyingFriend

What a load of outdated sexist bullshit

^This.

I spend around £1300 in total on my wife's rings, platinum with a small stone. I spent £115 on mine, titanium, custom made.

I think we've spent more time writing this post than considering the significance of the cost of our rings to our marriage which is now in its 15th year....

6 months salary which was £1500. 1978