How much did he/should he spend on your engagement ring?

[BlingRing1]

Just curious what everyone's thoughts are nowadays? I've heard of the '3 month's salary rule' (although i also heard it was 2 months and 1 month, so who knows!), but that's from a long time ago. Is it still relevant now? If not then what is better?

How much did he spend (either in £ or relative to salary)? Was it more or less than you thought/hoped he would?

Does it matter to you (honestly!)? Should it matter?

I've heard of the '3 month's salary rule' (although i also heard it was 2 months and 1 month, so who knows!), but that's from a long time ago. Is it still relevant now? If not then what is better?

It was a DeBeers advertising slogan from about the 1980s

It's not a tradition, and never has been. It was a sheer appeal to ostentation (in the 'greed is good' era) to increase spending on diamonds

I put what mine cost into a historical price comparison, and it came out between £550 and £1000, depending on which index was tracked

I paid on the day (his card was declined)

Mine was about £50 in Argos and the wedding ring even cheaper

It was 20 ish years ago. I haven't worn the rings for about 6/7 years now but I still ride the man

@ohwaitthatwasme brilliant!

He had mine made,he got something with a design he knew I would enjoy wearing, the importance is that it comes with love and true intentions, the cost is irrelevant.

Shame I can only wear them when my fingers have not ballooned up like sausages !!!

Where did this idea come from that a woman is grabby for wanting anything nice from a man?

A man thinks nothing to spend £1,500 on a phone or ps5 which will be obsolete in a few years, so why is it grabby to spend that or more on a ring meant to last a lifetime?

The bar is already low enough these days.

A man thinks nothing to spend £1,500 on a phone or ps5 which will be obsolete in a few years, so why is it grabby to spend that or more on a ring meant to last a lifetime?

There’s a sweeping generalisation.

The bar is already low enough these days.

My “bar” is about how I am treated, not how much money is spent.

It's a ridiculous concept. Mine cost £290 fifteen years ago, I absolutely love it

Someone called my dh a "tightarse" recently as he's never upgraded the ring!! Why would he. I love it. It's my engagement ring, anything else would just be "a ring".

About £400 from a best offer bid on eBay. I'd been watching this ring for bloody ages as I both adore and collect antiques and this one was full of old mine cut diamonds in a carved half hoop setting. DP (now DH) asked me what I was watching on eBay, knowing my antique jewellery obsession and he clocked the ring, scoffed and said "that's tiny! That wouldn't fit any of your fingers, what would you even do with it?" I retorted that actually, it would easily fit my ring fingers and possibly the middle finger of one hand, but if I was to get it, I'd resize it. He said "hmmm. Looks very diamondy though. What if they fell out? It's old. Would you even want to wear something like that?" I expressed my love for the ring and explained about the setting for the diamond. He made the right noises to signify mild interest and he then moved on to another piece of jewellery I was watching and spent about two hours discussing it all and searching for the most expensive pieces we could, looking at old mourning jewellery and trying to spot treasures that people were flogging without realising the significance of the piece. I'm sure it was boring as hell to him, but he kept me engaged in conversation about the jewellery but not about that ring. About five weeks later, I noticed the ring had sold. Mourned it a bit. I hadn't any idea what the seller wanted for it, because, like most of his items, it was up for £1500 or best offer with a description to contact him and discuss a best price. About four months later, DP proposed to me with that ring! The seller let him have it for somewhere around £400 because the market for these particular pieces had dropped and he wasn't sure he'd shift it. DH then took it to an antique jewellery dealer to make sure it was legit- it is. I love it. I don't care really what he paid for it, the fact that he got me something I would adore meant way more that the price he paid

If my dh had spent a month's salary on a ring I'd have been concerned. I think my ring cost about £500 almost 30 years ago. I can't remember what DH earned back then but £500 was probably about 2 weeks net income? I didn't do those calculations at the time though.

You sound very money grabbing OP. I know you are trying to backtrack but the very fact you think people "ought" to buy gifts based on a multiple of income says loads about you.

It didnt matter to me at all.

@bloodywhitecat sorry for what you’re going through

@BlingRing1 Horrifically materialistic to even care what a ring costs in my opinion!

If DH had spent 3months salary on mine it would have been almost £10,000 🤢 I’d have had a fit if he’d spent that kind of money on a piece of jewellery!! Money like that is far better put into our family home or towards our baby’s future!! I have no idea how much my ring was. DH took time and bought a beautiful diamond and then designed a band and setting himself and had it made (far better value for money than buying from a high street jeweller!) It’s simple, beautiful and - more importantly, he put so much thought into it!

You should watch your thinking on this, op, because there is some correlation between the amount spent on symbolic gestures/weddings, and the divorce rate.
Make sure your marrying the person and not the idea.

@Hufflepuffmamma

Omg I’ve just caught this thread are you telling me that there is no one here that would admit to the fantasy of a huge diamond engagement ring with all the bells and whistles ?

I’m disappointed .....surely someone out there somewhere is still up for a bit of the old glitz and tradition ....

Poor OP talk about a righteous correction for you !! Don’t dare to dream about such things it’s clearly awful of you to consider cost ...

My DSis has the biggest diamond engagement ring I ever saw with my own eyes. She loves the glitz! There are plenty of women left who definitely value the size of the rocks and the price of the piece, and they're not all grabby, because she's not, she just loves sparkle!

Ps total cost of wedding rings, engagement ring and wedding was under 1500 for us, so we'll still be here in 50 years

I got enagaged last year. I don't know the exact cost but it was made bespoke by a jewellery I've loved for years. He earns 45k a year and he spent around 5/5.5k on it I believe. I was shocked! When we had discussed it before, we always just spoke about how it looks rather than going for the most expensive.

I don't think the cost is an important factor. It is how much you like the ring.

Or how much you like the person.

My “bar” is about how I am treated, not how much money is spent.

Exactly this.

Mine was about 16 years ago, cost around £130 if I remember rightly, which was less than a week's wage. We were very young, budget was up to around £150, and I picked it with him. It was very pretty, though an eternity ring style rather than engagement. On our first wedding anniversary, as is tradition, he got me an 'eternity' ring, which was an engagement ring style so the three rings sat nice together. I think he probably spent similar on that.

We divorced after a few years, rings are now in a box or drawer somewhere 🤷🏼‍♀️

I bought my own ( not very expensive)as I could get a discount!

Mine was about £300. We were a year out of Uni, saving for a house and how much he paid on a ring just didn't matter to me. 14 years this year and I still have it though sadly don't wear it as I'm a lot bigger than I was then 😂

Your marriage is doomed OP