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Original poster

Husband touching someone else

167 replies

Pollypocket89 · 01/03/2021 17:25

I need reality check. Without context initially, if you saw your partner hugging another woman with his arms around her but underneath her jacket, what would you think? Would you be OK with that?

I'll flesh that out but I'm just curious on the initial gut reaction

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 01/03/2021 17:49

Sounds fishy.

MrsOk · 01/03/2021 17:49

Only if the woman was so big and jacket just made her bigger to wrap his arms around her comfortably. No other acceptable reason.

Nah, that's just stretching it really. Nope, not acceptable.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 01/03/2021 17:51

Her arms round his neck sounds a bit intimate to me too, add on the ‘under jacket’ hug and I’d be thinking something untoward is going on. If you have other suspicions this may have just confirmed them which is why you’re uncomfortable. If this is the first inkling of something wrong, I’d be keeping a close eye on this one.

heidbuttsupper · 01/03/2021 17:51

I wouldn't be happy with that no

WhatHo · 01/03/2021 17:52

This is very intimate. Without context I don't like it.
BUT. If you're about to tell me that this is his oldest university friend and has just lost a baby (say), or a mate who is like a sister to him, it's a lot more innocent.

I guess I'm not saying it's bad per se, just very, very intimate and at that point it depends on the woman and their relationship. If it's a neighbour who he has apparently 'only met a couple of times', a red flag the size of Moscow should be waving.

anunexaminedlife · 01/03/2021 17:54

Oh! I am quite a jealous person but wouldn't be concerned by this.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 01/03/2021 17:56

For a man’s perspective, I just read the post to my DH and he agreed it was weird

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 01/03/2021 18:01

To answer some questions

Jacket was undone and long enough to cover bum length

It was a friend and ex colleague

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 01/03/2021 18:03

I think a hug is usually a couple of seconds too normally, not a minute or so

It's the jacket thing I'm stuck on, why does that feel intimate?

OP posts:
Loopyloututu2 · 01/03/2021 18:03

This isn’t just about the hug though is it? You obviously have some suspicions - you wouldn’t be bothered if you thought their relationship was completely platonic I would’ve thought?

GabsAlot · 01/03/2021 18:03

i dont put my arms around anyones neck to hug them

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 01/03/2021 18:05

@GabsAlot

i dont put my arms around anyones neck to hug them
The only one I do this to is DH. Not all the time even then.
Vallmo47 · 01/03/2021 18:05

Honestly cannot believe some posters.

No, it’s obviously not okay.

Clymene · 01/03/2021 18:06

No, that's crossing a line.

Baileysandcream · 01/03/2021 18:07

@Pollypocket89

As in, her arms went around his neck and he moved her jacket with his hands as he put them underneath and round her waist under the jacket... For a reasonable amount of time

No one being comforted or anything, just leaving

I can't imagine any of my friend's husbands hugging me in this way. The only person I would expect to move my jacket to be able to place his hands around my waist in an intimate hug that lasted longer than a few seconds would be a lover - either past or present.
BalancedIndividual · 01/03/2021 18:07

Im picturing it in my head...yes, it sounds like they fancy each other.

Standrewsschool · 01/03/2021 18:11

So she had her arms around his neck, and then he reciprocated with a close body hug. Sounds fishy to me.

More importantly, your spidery senses are picking up warning signals, so take heed. If it were an innocent hug, you wouldn’t be posting this question.

Bluntness100 · 01/03/2021 18:12

No that’s intimate, it’s not a friendly hug. As is her arms around his neck.

That’s the hug of lovers.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 01/03/2021 18:13

When pp are saying don't put arms around neck, do you mean you only go under arm?

OP posts:
GammyLeg · 01/03/2021 18:14

On top of that, the hug lasted a minute or two? Yeah, dodgy as.

Bluntness100 · 01/03/2021 18:16

@Pollypocket89

When pp are saying don't put arms around neck, do you mean you only go under arm?
Have you not hugged a friend? It’s a brief clasp sort of round the outside of the upper arms. Same with a child. You don’t go under their jacket or round their neck,
Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 01/03/2021 18:16

So she had her arms around his neck, and then he reciprocated with a close body hug. Sounds fishy to me

No, they were talking by her car and I assume saying bye and she opened her arms, he reached under her coat so I assume waist and her arms closed round his neck

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 01/03/2021 18:17

I have hugged a friend but done so thoughtlessly so it was weird to watch

OP posts:
Janaih · 01/03/2021 18:17

Its intimate because the jacket is excluding everyone else in the room from this personal moment. Its literally a physical barrier around them.
I'm betting he didn't hug any men goodbye in such a way.

crosshatching · 01/03/2021 18:18

I never search op's names but this sounds really familiar, have you posted about this situation before? Have you got two little ones and were troubled by their 'friendship'? If so I'm sorry you're still in this position, I was hoping you would be on more comfortable ground now.
If that's not you I'm sorry OP but this is still a pretty intimate touch.

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