10 years to the day without sex!!

[Wakingup55643]

If this was you, on a scale of 1 to 100, how much would it matter?

Up until my 50s - 100. Now I’m 60, post menopausal and divorced I have no desire to have sex ever again!

I'm in a sexless marriage and im fine with that because I don't enjoy sex because I have a low labido, I'm fat and I've got a back injury that causes me mobility issues. It's been six years so far. I don't care if we never do it again and we sleep in seperste bedrooms, but......... Its something that we never ever mention or discuss, It was never decided upon. It just happened. When we are watching TV together at night, if a sex scene comes on (which is regularly) I feel so so embarrassed and I darent look at him.
Also when chatting with friends, the topic will often turn to sex and I just have to nod along and pretend.
Lastly, I find it very awkward and embarrassing when asked by a nurse or doctor if I am sexually active? I say no, then get a weird look as I'd just told them I'm married lol. Don't really know how to get around it to be honest

@Dbwoshem

I wouldn't worry if it works for you it's not for anyone to be the judge

I've gone over a year - overweight since childbirth, breastfeeding and exhausted working and parenting and to be honest if we had a spare bedroom I'd be In there straight away!

I'm in no rush to have set ever again I've totally gone off it and fortunately my partner isn't bothered either - it's not the be all and end all

But I am interested when you say sex about sex scenes coming up all the time - I don't have that problem at all but it would make me cringe!! What are you watching 😂

@Wakingup55643 - I know this is a good few months old but did anything change OP?

Hi @LollyPops111 No, nothing has changed. Or maybe it has, for the worse. I told him again that I'm frustrated, disappointed and unhappy. To which his response was, "I don't care if you're not happy!"

Great.
And then he goes back to trying to be all happy clappy, and if I don't respond back with my own happy clappy, I'm being miserable....

@19Bears Christ just leave him. He literally told you how much he doesn't care, so go.

You need to leave him. He clearly has zero intention of anything ever changing. He probably does have a sex life, with himself and his phones. Most men who don’t want sex don’t seem to have an issue when porn comes on! They just don’t want sex with you. It’s over. You need to end it. It will feel very liberating after a while.

@19Bears - Do you have any plans about what you’re going to do in the long-term, as this is not sustainable for you. You need to be happy and loved, everyone deserves that within a marriage.

Probably 10 times in 10 years (I'm 41 and DH is mid 50) not at all for the last few years. It's pretty soul destroying but I thought I was fine with it till recently.

When I describe all the things that have kind of led to it then it doesn't paint DH in a great light but he is a lovely person and we have a good time together. People find it really hard to get their heads around it that we can live like this but I think this is how it will always be. I hope not but I can't see it changing. I actually think he fancies me but we have gone so long as more like friends I am not quite sure how we can get back on track. I have no plans to leave him regardless.

@Noodles4Me you're right. If someone can say to you "I don't care if you're not happy," how can they possibly love you??? I was shocked, so much so that I am doubting myself that he really said it. Or meant it.

@Mabelone I honestly think he doesn't do any of that. Most men might sneak the porn channels on at night when they're snoozing on the sofa, but he has Newsnight, Spectator TV, and now GB News....

@LollyPops111 I need a plan. I know what I want but I don't know how to achieve it. Ideally I want to buy him out, keep the kids in their home with as much stability as possible and for both of us to one day be happy with other partners. All I want is to be happy and loved, and to make someone else happy and loved. I hate the fact that I am resentful towards him, that's not who I am. I just want to be myself again. Thanks everyone x

It is me plus 6 months. I bring it up occasionally and I get a yeah !

I’ve been single 4 years and it’s the sex I miss more than anything else.

For someone who has always had a high sex drive, it’s awful but I can’t do casual and I just haven’t met anyone

You've got a room mate sane as me but he's my soul mate but 10 years ago he had an emotional affair at work for 3 years and right under my nose he's never touched me since she came on the scene she's gone now but rough