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Original poster

Anyone know how I can tell if my partner is using cocaine?

170 replies

findingout88 · 18/02/2021 17:00

I've tried to Google this but it's not very clear.
How is a person physically after doing it? How can I tell? I suspect he is

OP posts:
IronNeonClasp · 20/02/2021 10:57

Oh and my ex had massive OCD so it was very difficult to find any paraphernalia

Hellzbellz25 · 20/02/2021 10:58

Not eating and not being able to sleep/wanting to sleep, it's a very expensive drug aswell so you'd notice pretty quickly if you have any idea of his finances

IronNeonClasp · 20/02/2021 11:11

Sorry and the denial is to do with lying to himself. That was part of the main issue he point blank denied it to my face. From what you've said id absolutely place my bets he is and sounds like he has it bad. You probably don't know half the story. There are many behaviours that manifest with a regular coke user that's why some of the responses vary. Big pupils, sniffing, racing heart beat, a secretive behaviour, eager to get away from you (to score) or being discontent and snappy on what should be a relaxing evening.

How long have you been together?

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 20/02/2021 11:23

Sorry, no experience of this, but good luck 💐

lyingwanker · 20/02/2021 11:27

I went through this at the back end of last year. Luckily for me, I used to take drugs in my much younger years and I recognised the signs very quickly.

Basically it was just a change in his habits/behaviour. Like going out at unusual times and more frequently. Like sometimes he would "pop out" to the shop 3 times in one evening with pathetic excuses like he needed a bottle of pop at 11.30pm. Once he left for work at 6.30am instead of 7.30am and he'd withdrawn £100 in cash out. When I asked him about it he said he bought a car stereo for his colleague on the way to work?! He would definitely be sniffling more but magically it would be better in the morning. He was extremely guarded with his finances where before we would just share bank cards throughout the month, that stopped and he would rather transfer me £5 for bread and milk instead of me just using his card. When it got worse he would disappear for the whole weekend without explanation. Or would come and go at ridiculous times. He still has never admitted to taking coke but I'm as sure as I can be that's what was happening and I told him early December he had a month to sort out somewhere else to live.

Now he lives in a shared house and is extremely skint all the time, despite earning good money and having fairly small fixed outgoings. In fact, I have a lot less money and 4 children at home and still have more spare cash and a better lifestyle!

Noncommittalagain · 20/02/2021 11:45

@findingout88 the bitter taste/numbness was what gave it away for me (I'm fairly naive and have no experience of drugs so always explained the other signs as something else) but I kept getting this weird numbness on my tongue. Assumed it was residue of cleaning products or something. Found a rolled up £20 with white powder on it and licked it and guess what, the exact same bitterness and numbness. I left with my kids the next time he went out, that's not a life I want

Original poster
findingout88 · 20/02/2021 15:16

I know this sounds completely insane. But I’ve took his bank card out of his wallet and licked it. It’s gritty and bitter and my tongue has gone numb. I’ve just approached him about it. He’s denied it and called me crazy

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 20/02/2021 15:21

@findingout88

I know this sounds completely insane. But I’ve took his bank card out of his wallet and licked it. It’s gritty and bitter and my tongue has gone numb. I’ve just approached him about it. He’s denied it and called me crazy
He would, wouldn't he?

If this is a deal breaker (and I think for most people, it should be), you need to keep yourself safe for the next bit.

Sssloou · 20/02/2021 15:22

He’s denied it and called me crazy.

Yes that’s what addicts do. They are in total denial even to themselves - they lie and then turn it on you.

I would leave him just for him calling you crazy. That’s enough disrespect.

But you have your proof.

Don’t waste your breath - you will not hey truth from a liar. Emotionally detach from him so that you can pull back to give you the mental space to think through your future.

What will you do now? Do you have children or mortgage together?

Purpleneonpinkunicorns · 20/02/2021 15:24

Echo what others have said, from things I've witnessed talking fast, bungund up nose and constantly sniffing the odd nose bleed, behaving manic and talking fast. Pupils are another one.

Are you able to see if he makes anywithdrawls for big amounts of money when you suspect hes doing it?

Tistheseason17 · 20/02/2021 16:20

Does not sound great.. tbh.
You say", partner" - what is your commitment to him - are their children?

tellmetologoffIamaMNaddict · 20/02/2021 18:46

For me it was a total personality transformation. From sweet and shy to an arrogant dickhead. And always finding excuses to be on his own. Angry nasty texting, unreasonable, unpleasant.

Dontknowwhyidoit · 20/02/2021 19:06

This kiss with the bitter taste and your tongue going numb is a sure sign that he has been using coke. The blocked nose could be a sign as well. Most people on coke become much more animated and talk alot as its a stimulant.

Itstimetoquit · 20/02/2021 20:32

@findingout88, he's definitely using,I've had that bitter taste before,my ex lied like you wouldn't believe even when I could prove he was lying! He spent every penny we had a week before xmas 2 grand and left us with nothing,leave him trust me it will get alot worse xx

CaramelPops · 20/02/2021 21:27

A 1 day Cold? @findingout88
It’s cocaine induced „Miami Flu“

What the other posters have said. Bitter taste, yep. Will most likely be able to drink alcohol with it but feel no effects (not drunk). Lack of appetite.

cuckooflowers · 20/02/2021 21:30

Why would you bloody lick his card. !!

Shufflebudge · 20/02/2021 21:47

You snort cocaine so why would your tongue go numb if you kissed him this makes no sense....even when you do coke yourself your own tongue doesn’t go numb....

Simma2 · 20/02/2021 21:52

@Shufflebudge

You snort cocaine so why would your tongue go numb if you kissed him this makes no sense....even when you do coke yourself your own tongue doesn’t go numb....
You don't just snort it. Some people rub it into their gums. It's absorbed through the lining of the mouth.
ZednotZee · 20/02/2021 22:05

He's a cokehead, trust me.

If that's a deal breaker then just leave. He is 100% taking coke, I bet my house on it.

CaramelPops · 20/02/2021 22:27

In a global pandemic or not: do not lick Bank cards FFS 😂

sabrinathemiddleagewitch · 20/02/2021 22:34

Everything you've said indicates coke

You don't need anymore evidence. Sit him down and confront him. Decide what you want to do with either answer. For me it would be a deal breaker

Devaki · 20/02/2021 22:35

Look at his notes in his wallet or bank cards. Money that isn’t acc out for. Staying out all night.

IronNeonClasp · 20/02/2021 22:59

After weeks of ex telling me he wasn't on coke and point blank denying I ran my finger over a single plate in the dishwasher and also tasted the bitter taste. You're suspicious are justified do not be conditioned into thinking this is in your head or you wouldn't have suspected his behaviour in the first place. Save yourself months of agonising suspicion and get rid.

Like @ZednotZee I too will bet my house on it.

Inaseagull · 20/02/2021 23:00

You could buy this test kit to wipe his card. www.zoomtesting.co.uk/cocaine-drug-swabs/

You also get urine test kits if you think you could get a sample from him.

IronNeonClasp · 20/02/2021 23:00

Your suspicions ffs AC

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