Online dating in your 40s.. part 4

[Shayelle2009]

The sagas continue..

@Shayelle2009 he wasn’t asking questions, he didn’t seem interested in getting to know you as a person so there wasn’t much in it for you to keep it going was there?

@bangheadhere40 if you think he is a nice guy and want to meet him, then you need to say up front that you can’t keep up with the level of chatting he wants to do as you’ve loads on and you are excited to meet too but you want to leave the chats to face to face. If he is decent he will respect that. If he doesn’t? Block him!
If on the other hand his behaviour is turning you off him altogether but you don’t just want to block and delete I would just tell him you’ve changed your mind about meeting - you could say you want to pursue something with someone else you have been chatting to or that you are taking a break or something 🤷‍♀️

Thank you everyone... the thing is we had only matched thursday night... what if he was just busy on friday and saturday? And i never gave him chance.. he was messaging me, it just got sparse. 😣 but i know when things get busy with me its hard to find time to send a dating message... esp with a brand new match.

Ok well i may well get flamed for this.. but ive opened a tinder acct, found him on there and super-liked him 🙈 if he responds and asks why ill say, if he doesn't respond (its obvious when its a super like as they flash up blue)) then ill have my answer...

I should have just left it last night but i had a few wines and was just feeling bored, lonely and fed up 😢

@Shayelle2009 dont be too sore on yourself. You're only human and dont need to explain yourself. Just chill now and if it's meant to be it will 💐

Fwiw and i hope this isnt revealing too much but hes a teacher and quite senior and is responsible for the school in lockdown at present, id imagine things are pretty fraught given theyre reopening on the 8th.. which is maybe why he wasnt very engaging... or am i just making excuses?!?
Anyways.. will see what old tinder brings up!!!

Thanks @LuckyLinda3 youre sweet 😘

Honestly this threads a godsend. It really helps just to chat on here 💐💐

Hope he comes back to you Shayelle...yeah it seems everyone has different comms styles, pineapples saying he backs off if he likes someone. I was whinging about men in general to Mr Spreadsheet and how they vanish or ghost when I first started talking so maybe that's why he's making an extra 'keen effort '.

You've done what you can now and yeah just say you were fed up with the apps if he comes back 🤞

@Mayzee I've chatted a bit then just said I've got some stuff to do this afternoon. He seems to have respected that.

Hey guys... so update... he responded to my tinder super-like.. swiped right to me and messaged straight away ‘where did you go x’... i replied saying id deleted bumble as id got to the end of it and that i wasnt sure if he wanted to keep chatting but i hoped he did.. hes not replied yet so ill see what he says and go from there.

@bangheadhere40 kets hope your guy has simmered down a bit.. if he keeps overboiling its going to put you off!!

Eeeek.... he says he certainly wanted to keep chatting and hes sent me his number!! Yay 🙂

That's great news 😀

Yeah he's not messaged in at least 3 hours so all good.

Haha.. you’ll be wondering why he’s so quiet soon if he carries on with this

..whoops sent too soon.. should have said ‘behaviour’ at the end there

😄😄😄

We’re whatsapp’ing now and hes being very chatty 😄 yaaaay!!

@Shayelle2009, wow a lot happened with you since I last looked 🤣. So pleased he has responded, and he's being chattier. wine can do funny things to us women, think I was a bit tipsy when I spoke to Mr Homeless last night on the phone....he mentioned something this morning we talked about and I couldn't remember 😂🤦‍♀️.
@Bangheadhere40, pleased he has simmered down, maybe he was trying to prove a point that he won't ghost you like you say 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hi @pineappleonpizzaornot i know im shocked how its all turned out to be honest with you! Hes so much more engaging and I feel like I already know more about him now as its like hes opened up a bit ☺️ Result!!!!

Good results peeps.

Mr Spreadsheet has calmed down a bit thank god. He's not bad at all, just over keen i think.

Meeting mr physical for a walk and coffee next weekend now. Arrrrgh im terrified haha first time I’ve gone on a date in many months 😂😂

Glad spreadsheets chilled out a bit @bangheadhere40

@Shayelle2009 yay!!! Your confidence paid off!

@bangheadhere40 there did seem the odd red flag where he was panicking if you didn't reply but I do think meet him and decide for yourself.

@pineappleonpizzaornot yay!!! Mr Homeless sounds lovely.

Thanks @Eesha 💗 hope you had a nice weekend 💫 x

@Shayelle2009-so pleased for you! You deserve someone as lovely as you, and you'll be fine on your walk!! Have spoke on the phone yet? Are you going to before you meet?
@bangheadhere40 pleased Mr Spreadsheet hasn't turned out to be an arse, he's maybe just an overthinker 🤷🏻‍♀️.
Thank you @Eesha, didn't talk much to Mr Homeless last night, I fell asleep early and he was watching a series I recommended to him, woke up to 3 messages from him though, saying goodnight, and hopefully speak today, and how much he liked the series. We haven't planned any meeting up yet, but we aren't local so I darent just yet with the restrictions

Aww thanks lovely @pineappleonpizzaornot!! Does feel kind of weird how its all going so well suddenly, we have a lot in common, and just seem to have really clicked... im wondering what the catch is 😂😂
Im soooo pleased for you too that you and Mr Homeless are navigating smoothly now! The stormy sea has passed, and youre smooth sailing now 😇

Oooh and we’ve voicenoted - he has a nice voice yaaay thankfully as i cant be doing with any squeakers!!