Online dating in your 40s.. part 4

[Shayelle2009]

The sagas continue..

That’s what these threads are for- a moan and finding people who actually know what you are talking about. I know no one in real life that is OLD- certainly none of my friends and family. My sisters who I normally talk to about everything just.do.not.get.it! I think they wonder why the hell I bother at my age!
Easy for them to think that when they are married. I am 18months out of a marriage that was completely devoid of intimacy for at least 3.5 years before it ended. That nearly 5 bloody years of a drought ffs 🤦🏼‍♀️

@havecourage I feel you with Tinder and height. I'm 5'8 (nearly;)) and say 'I hope you're at least 5'8' in my profile.

It is really so hard @Shayelle2009. We're definitely all going through it!

Where do you all live roughly? Perhaps we could have a meet up when this nonsense is all over and go on the pull like teenagers 😂

My current iron had a photo up with a fairly well known sports person on tinder. And very little info on his profile. So I googled said sports person to see if I could find their height so I could guesstimate irons height without asking 😂😂
I’m 5’ 8” too so I like someone to at least match that but preferably a little taller.

And I live in Ireland so you’ll all have to make a weekend of it to go on the pull 😂

Just unmatched mr physical m.. if he cant even find time to send a message then its pointless! Feel better drawing a line under that!

Yeah people who are coupled up, esp in LTRs @Mayzee just dont understand do they. Thankfully i have a few mates online dating who are also all finding it rubbish!! All of us going through the same things.

I've put myself back on bumble. I've swiped left to everyone, apart from one person who had the criteria of handsome, wrote interesting things. I watched TED talks about online dating this week.
From this, I'm going to start flirting in supermarkets from now on...lol Except I shop in Aldi!

Morning, well had the phonecall with Mr Homeless, it went well, we talked for 2 and a half hours. He messages me after saying how lovely it was, and I said , look mate, you need to pull your socks up where messaging is concerned as you made me feel a bit shit!
He apologized A LOT, and said he backs off when he likes someone 🤷🏻‍♀️, told him to stop it! He said he really wants something to come of it and he will be in touch a lot more, he really likes me etc. Let's see what happens today!
Hope you're feeling better all you ladies that had a rubbish day yesterday, it does feel like there will never be an end to potatoes and shrek's doesn't it!
But there will be ❤️

Morning @pineappleonpizzaornot, thats a really lovely update ☺️ So glad you had a nice chat, ive heard about men backing off when they like someone - can anyone shed light on why they do that? Id want to know!
So glad its all going well anyway ...
I feel disappointed about mr physical but if its meant to be we’ll match again at some point, and if he asks why i disappeared i can say i just felt like you werent interested in chatting!
Fair enough isnt it?!
Having a weeks break OLD’ing now

@Shayelle2009 morning. Something about what you said to me clicked and I didn't bother with my ex. You're right, if he wanted it to work he would make it work on his part. Went back online last night out of pure boredom. Started chatting to a fella and very soon he dropped the sexy texting to pass the time line. Now I have no problem with that when I'm involved with someone but not to randomers. His last message was that he would be prepared to travel 3.5 hours to see me. Is it really this difficult? I'm not into casual hook ups. Where have the good men gone?

Thank you, yeah Im pleased it went well, I found out he a dj part time at a local radio station 2 hours a week, (just as a hobby) and he's going to play me a song that I love next week when he's on 🤣!
Me and Mr Homeless have only done extremely light flirting, and he apologizes after it every time 🤣. So I have (I think) managed to find one that isn't incessantly wanting to talk about his dick!
@LuckyLinda3, you are right, if he wanted to put the effort in he would have done it before now, but then you mention the sleazeballs on OLD, so it's easy to go back to what we know isn't it!

Made me laugh! If we didn't, we would cry 😭

Glad it went well pineapple.

I'm going to have to tell Mr Spreadsheet no i think, I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do but he is messaging me way too much and triple messaging etc. I'm not sure i should, I think he's just keen but it's a little annoying. I feel a bit of a cow.

My ex flakey hot iron is back on the apps and that's annoyed me. Linda the ex iron of mine has been messaging me a bit this week, I think he just wants to be friends tbough. He doesn't know I've seen him back on the apps. He really really hurt me at the time with his inconsistency....I'd have done anything for him to triple message.

I just want a middle ground ☹

Ah @bangheadhere40, if it's too much, could you tell him, have a quiet word you need him to back off a bit?
It's hard isn't it, Mr Homeless has sent me a couple this morning, which was sweet, now I'm busy doing housework and getting showered etc, and he's off shopping, so we have made communication, but now know we won't message for a bit, and that's a good ground for me. Hopefully we are getting somewhere, but I couldn't do it all day, so I know what you mean, shame because you seemed to click so well in the beginning.

I'm not sure what to say to him really....I've ignored the last 3!

He was asking last night if he's done something wrong etc and do I still want to meet him etc. It just seems too much.

@pineappleonpizzaornot glad its going well for you. I agree 100%. I think I was giving him too much credit as he seems to be a genuine, honest fella but a girl needs attention too!
@bangheadhere40 I hear you. I want the middle ground too. I don't think my ex wants to be just friends as his last message yesterday was that hed love to distract me! Am annoyed because we had fantastic physical chemistry and I really miss that.

Hi everyone 👋
@pineappleonpizzaornot I absolutely LOVE those ugly fish ive saved it into my photos 😂😂 awwww thats mega cute about mr homeless! Have you guys said about meeting up at all? Its a great sign hes not pushing it on the sexy talk front! What a star!

Hey @LuckyLinda3 sounds like youve got another sleaze on your hands, id just unmatch and throw him in the waste bucket!! Glad what i said yesterday helped a bit. I think if your guy really wanted to fix things properly he would do something more meaningful, then maybe you could start taking him seriously, until then hes trying to throw a little hook in - dont let him!! Youre worth more.

@bangheadhere40 sorry but yours actually sounds worrying. I would be scared. Dont meet up with him 😟 best be safe than sorry. If hes being all intense just sack him off- you owe him nothing whastsoever!

Its about time us ladies stopped with the GUILT and followed our instincts more.

@Shayelle2009 sooo right about following the instincts!!!

@bangheadhere40-3 messages and you haven't answered any is a bit intense!
What do you plan to do?
Thanks @Shayelle2009-i feel like I'm back in my little bubble of happiness again, please let it last this time!
The fish photos are funny aren't they, I did see another that made me giggle, I'll post it

Think I've seen all these in the last few months!

Does anyone think i was a bit hasty unmatching mr physical yesterday?? Could do with opinions please 😕 x

@pineappleonpizzaornot i can tell... youre happier now and seem more chilled and thats good... ive got a good feeling about this 🥰

I'm not sure really....☹ I don't know what to do. He's not sent any since a few hours ago when he said how he's so excited to meet me. I honestly don't know what to do, maybe it's me... I think he's a nice guy...not scary but last night I said I was going to have a chat with a friend and go to sleep and he saw I was online and continued to message.

I don't think seeing my ex hot iron on the apps has helped, after he messaged me. I really liked / fancied him so much. He's done nothing wrong though I guess by going back on the apps. He wasn't very nice anyway but is a good actor for sure. Arghh...he can go an ruin some other woman's life instead.

@Shayelle2009
Does anyone think i was a bit hasty unmatching mr physical yesterday?? Could do with opinions please 😕 x

I’m not sure, I’m thinking of doing the same with mr tall, was leaning more to yes when I read your update. Hard isn’t it. Don’t want to be a mug, but dobt want to be too harsh either.

@Shayelle2009, I'm like you and think maybe I have been harsh unmatching people in the past. But now I'm talking to Mr Homeless it has given me a sense of perspective that men can be interested and ask questions, and it can flow, and I personally don't think you have been harsh, we know what we want, and if you're not getting it then "see ya 👋", so my answer is NO you haven't. It shouldn't be hard work and they should ask questions, and I personally don't think there should be hours and hours in-between messages xx