Online dating in your 40s.. part 4

[Shayelle2009]

The sagas continue..

Hi Ladies - Lol @Angelofdeath and Mr Fucked up message! What exactly are you supposed to be lying about?? Maybe you didnt reply to amessage from him a long time ago and you have severely bruised his massive ego ! Dick head freaky nob!
@Shayelle2009 - Mr Physical obviously feels like you have bashed his ego too.....why cant these men just take the hint.....I certainly wouldnt go back for more! I also think about my ex daily, as it was incredible for the first year, but then I remember the last 3 and they were awful, I felt pushed out, unwanted, and taken for granted, I dont EVER want that again, I think he incapable of having a relationship when it hit the low points, and he will be the same with his new shiny gf when things get "boring" its called real life mate
@Isitreally7777 - Pleased you are feeling a little better today

Silly man! Doesnt he know how amazing you are! Going well with Homeless, we talked on the phone last night, and there are little glimpses of a personality coming out....seeing him on Sat (weather depending) for a walk, hope I like him! Hes a sweet guy, he keeps telling me how nervous he is though, which is making me not nervous lol!

So weird @Angelofdeath as he could have easily started a normal conversation with you but instead starts spouting all that unhinged crap? I mean wtf is he even on about. Musta forgotten his meds today??

God im swiping through bumble and as usual i can literally complete the entire thing with maybe two right swipes. What is the actual point. Then you get the stalky ones like physical who for some reason know when youve rebooted your app and are right there pinging you before you can even blink. I actually despair.
Yet there are men out there who are definitely hot. I had three guys round to fix something first thing this morning and they were all three of them absolutely smoking!!!!! Lol why do i not see any of these hotness on the shitty, swampy, freak-infested apps?!?!!!! Where are these really nice men in real life!!
Must say it was nice to have such eye candy stood in front of me so early in the morning!! 😍😍

And @Angelofdeath thats exactly it whats the point in being honest when you know its only going to create drama. I just cant be bothered trying to help these morons and explain to them its not attractive being hounded, no woman enjoys that and that behaviour quickly ruins anything good that could happen... as are they going to go ‘ahhh yes got it, i understand, thanks’ ?? Nope, they are just going to kick off, argue, possibly get abusive.. no thanks, so thats what our old friend Mr Block Button is for!!!

can I join? I'm 49 so only just in the category! I've been on all the apps for a while. Connected with someone (MrCars) and had amazing chat. Met up twice for walks, and I thought things were going really well. However the past few days, he has really cooled things off - not even reading my messages for ages, not picking up if I phone him etc. I asked him about it today, and he said he was struggling with things etc etc. Truth is - I have been too full on I think :(. Feel so sad that I've messed it up :(

Hi Angel oooh mr school run.. thats good he said hi!! Any other chat?
I think i actually need to just come off the apps... i dont feel positive about them whatsoever so i should just come off them.

@ArriettyCArriettyC dont be too hard on yourself, its just one of those things isnt it, unfortunately if its just not there its not there, and no one can force it.

I have to say my last iron was too full on, when you've been struggling alone in lockdown it can be just be another pressure. Just leave him be, he may come back to you.

Yeah @Angelofdeath none of these sites are worth giving too much mind to at all... all full of weirdos, whichever you go on. Well even if its the slowest thing ever its still something fun and a bit of excitement isnt it ☺️ Also i love the day to day ones as gives you something predictable to look forward to every day!!
Ive matched with mr show again ... literally the 2nd to last guy before i got to the end of bumble. We’ve been chatting again and both saying how bored we are of it, and how its just something to pass the time in lonely lockdown. Quite refreshing to be so honest with someone! He said he was sorry for not replying sooner then he saw i was gone... i said im back for now but will probably delete it all soon as done with the apps!

Hi, can I join you please? Just put myself back on the apps after messing about with 2 guys for almost 2 years since I separated from my stbx husband and literally getting nowhere. One was FWB and he broke my heart after meeting someone and neglected to tell me (never again) and the other just wouldn’t commit to a relationship but somehow kept me hoping that it would happen someday, but of course it didn’t (never again).

So my experience so far this time, got chatting to Mr Photographer, he was lovely, we met for a walk and he ghosted me. Got chatting to Mr Sausage, he just got weird so I blocked him. I’m now chatting to Mr IT and we have arranged to meet for a walk on Saturday. Trying to keep the faith but it’s all pretty dire isn’t it! Who actually swipes on these half naked, fish holding, tongue exposing, car posing men? 😂

@Shayelle2009 i came off the apps about a month ago, soon after my ex dumped me. I swiped a lot for a few days initially then gave up as my heart wasn't in it. Actually it's been great for my mental health, so much less of this desperate 'hoping for a connection' thing and that feeling of blah men judging me when they have nothing themselves!!! I now dip in and out but am far less bothered. In fact, my biggest current concern is my expensive new trainers rubbing the back of my heel . Taking a break has reminded me how great I am on my own and if the right person comes along, then great.

Computer Geek and I are struggling to navigate the friend territory, I don't think I'm helping over thinking things. Yesterday we were chatting and I asked if I could still send my stupid morning messages and pointless gifs and he said yes I can(it was just part of a bigger conversation), he didn't correct the stupid and pointless and even got a bit cheeky but he said he is going to concentrate on getting his life sorted. On 12th April I'm actually going to the town where he lives and thought it would be nice if we met for lunch so I suggested it but he turned it down(maybe I should have waited until nearer the time). I don't think this friend thing is going to work, I'm not sure if he can handle it and I feel like he is giving me the brush off. We had some great banter before everything happened on Sunday and now it's gone and I feel like I'm being a pain. He said seeing me made him realise what a mess he is. He hasn't blocked me so obviously still wants to chat but I'm struggling to act like before and so is he.

@Isitreally7777 i think you need to wean yourself off him a bit. He met you and has explained he isn't ready for more. You need to listen weather than hope he changes his mind. Let him come to you and arrange things if he wants to. The fact that he isn't tells me he just wants the chit chat for his ego but nothing else. I would put money on him upping his game if you met someone else.

@Eesha I think you're right, I need to go back to being the supportive friend that I was. I am the only person (other than the lady he is staying with) who knows he has moved out. His parents don't know and they haven't even told the children, he goes round every night to pretend that he still lives there (it explains why he goes quiet in the evening until 9pm) but his ex doesn't want the children knowing, I think that is so wrong and I've told him he needs to tell both his parents and the children.

I wouldnt bother giving him your support @Isitreally7777... why are you doing this? Once again, hes cooking your head. I would close the book i really would. Yes itll hurt for a bit but really, this is going nowhere - youre in a dead end. Why do you want to do this to yourself? Hes made it clear he doesnt want to be with you. Im not trying to be nasty but you really need to move on. In a week, a few months it will feel better. You could try some counselling too?

@Eesha new trainers are the best arent they! And as things are going to be opening up soon they’ll get to have some good outings hopefully. I agree coming off the apps is the best thing for the mental health. I need to get over the ridiculous FOMO i feel when i delete them as honestly theres nothing at all to miss out on!

@Eesha I'm so jealous, where you describe yourself being is just so healthy. Putting yourself first. Fair play.

I've had a mixed week since I last chatted to my ex. I am back on the app and have been chatting to 3 guys. The first turns out to be married and looking for a bit on the side ..the second the same only we went to school together and he told me straight off what he was after. The third is an engineer who travels a lot for work. Seems nice, veers a little into the flirty chat but I'm confused because he WhatsApps before and after work and then on the app during the day?? Anyway I'm really only passing the time. I changed my profile pic earlier this week to one of me wearing glasses and I seem to he getting many more messages...obviously not my sparkling personality they're after..ha ha. Enjoy your day everyone.

@Eesha - am also so impressed with your attitude. I think for me, half of the problem with online dating is actually me! I feel like I get obsessed with whether men like me, waiting for them to message me etc. It swings my feelings one way then the other - so unhealthy, but I can't seem to snap out of it.

I continually keep looking on whatsapp so see if my current iron is online - I mean literally what is the actual point of that?! If they message me, I get a notification anyway .... I just stare at the status saying 'Online' and think 'they're on Whatsapp - why don't they message me?' Then if they're not online, I feel a bit better and think 'oh, he's really busy - otherwise he would message me'. How crazy is that?! Anyone else do that, or just me!

Yeah I've been known to do that on WhatsApp 😐 the worst is if they are online but not messaging you!

I think life would be a lot easier without WA and last seen.

@ArriettyCArriettyC i did this towards the end with my last partner. Ultimately I recognised there was a problem there in me and I clearly had so little in my life that I would stare at my phone a lot. I weaned myself off all that and don't intend to be in that situation again. Try and put yourself first here, you are great as you are. Don't put your happiness in the hands of a stranger.