Online dating in your 40s.. part 4

[Shayelle2009]

The sagas continue..

I spoke too soon with this endless messaging again! Oh my goodness...he just keeps coming back with questions and essays when I'm not responding much.

Told him I'm poorly 😄

What do I do?

I'm just not excited by this and feeling like it's a chore. He could be okay in person but my god it's too much again and draining. He's trying way too hard.

Aww @bangheadhere40 - I totally get you as I was feeling the same a couple of days ago with Homeless, we have come to an agreement to talk on the phone every 2-3 days, and send a few messages throughout the day, maybe 5 or 6 thats all, and it seems to be working for us.

How would you feel actually talking on the phone with him? That could possibly slow the messaging down? Or if you REALLY arent feeling it you could just say you are spending the rest of the day in bed, and see how you feel about not talking for the rest of the day? Gives you time to think about it? If you feel its a relief, then maybe you should be honest and say you just arent feeling it and wish him well?

@bangheadhere40 if he is draining you now it won’t get better. You’ll get the complete ick!
At this stage you should be looking forward to messaging and meeting , not rolling your eyes when you see yet another essay coming in or being afraid to go on WhatsApp in case he sees you online.
I’m thinking move on if this is bothering you and not just normal worries about meeting up etc.

Thanks Pineapple...

I'm just not feeling it right now but then what if he's completely different in person and I'm unfairly judging him on his incessant messaging. I just don't know really....I'm not excited to hear from him at all and he is just trying way too hard and it's really putting me off again 😟

I don't know if I want to speak on the phone. It feels like a chore rather than something to look forward to.

My 'gift' for the weekend is that he's been baking and is bringing some homemade treats. I also noticed he's come off tinder.

Ahgh!

@bangheadhere40 i would delay it a week and see how you both feel.

Lol at baking! Sorry I shouldnt! It does sound a bit much, and we all like a little"chase" no matter how much we say we dont.
If its making you feel uneasy, and its really putting you off, then I think you need to wish him well and carry on with your journey @bangheadhere40.

can't do the next weekend eesha as he has his kids EOW.

Plus this damn baking dough won't last that long unless he freezes it and he's spent ages preparing it he said.

Oh god.. he might be okay in person it's just so hard to tell. I don't get creepy vibes or anything, more as mayzee said ick vibes!

I spoke to a friend who said to meet him as he might be not as expected 😕

‘Spreaders’ 😂😂😂 only you @pineappleonpizzaornot !! Sounds like he needs to spread his texting out a bit @bangheadhere40 !!

Hey guys hows all your days been!!

@Isitreally7777 you sound waaaay more in control emotionally about the whole CG thing now but i guess its because now youre now 100% wiser about his situation, why he etc the way he does etc ... wish you’d meet someone else though as i feel like hes an emotional vampire on you, sucking you dry with your support and kindness and letting you down (shit friend)

Pineapple im so happy youve got a nice equilibrium with homeless!! 💘 it seems to be working for you guys hey i just HOPE its a beautiful sparkle in the flesh when you meet!

Well a happier update from me ☺️ Mr physical is just being as good as bloody gold, 💛 bless him my gut and heart tell me he is 100000% a gem.. hes just so decent! I decided i going for the walk on sat ☺️ Ive not done a ‘lockdown walk date’ before but i think it will be totally cool as i know we will have a milllion things to talk about - its very odd and i NEVER get this bcos im bitter and cynical lol but feel like ive known this guy for ages?!? Its a weird and just really nice click... something ive not had in a long time 👍👍

@bangheadhere40 honestly i think this one’s not meant to be he sounds like a fking irritant!! I couldnt be doing with it i mean wtf is up with him.. does he not understand natural 😠 hes pushing you... its irritating me to be fair!! (Sorry maybe im just being very narky!) x

@Isitreally7777 gym boy sounds hot! You should just get your on flirt on with him 🤩 gyms reopen 12 april waa hoooo!!!!

@Shayelle2009 gym boy is super hot (and fit) and we flirt already and get on well and his dog loves me(always has to give me a big slobbery kiss when he sees me, shame its not the owner). I'm seeing him on Friday, but it won't go anywhere.

And thank you about Computer Geek, now I know why he acts the way he does I know how to handle it.

Hello, I'm 41 and I've just started getting back into OLD on Bumble - only one walking date in. Would love to join you.

Does anyone have any advice on how to make a walking date more interesting? I had a slightly dull date on Tuesday with someone I really liked when messaging. I blame the cold weather

And he recoiled when I hugged him hello. What's the covid protocol on dates these days? Is it elbow touching only?

Lol...Great news shayelle he sounds lovely 😍

I told spreaders I may need to cancel and he's been lovely about it and just wants me to get better. I think I'm just being a bit narky because I'm poorly not sure 😄

I went on Bumble earlier as I got a notification that someone wanted to meet me. I go on it and the first face I see is the guy that stood me up and ghosted me back in 2019, so I swipe right and lo and behold it was him. What the actual fuck, is he stupid or what. I've messaged him just to see if it clicks with him who I am, I still have his number.

Aww @bangheadhere40 are you really poorly? well im not and what you said about Spreaders annoyed me 😠 but if hes backed off then perhaps its ok... you have to go with your gut he does sound very intense though. Wonder if he's that mental in real life

@Isitreally7777 you must be so happy about the gyms opening soon, maybe you should treat yourself to some new gym clothes impress Mr Gym Fit with them!!! 💘 i dont know why but it always makes me feel amazing when i buy new gym stuff.

Cant wait to actually get a bit glammed up on sat for walk with mr physical. Paint the nails, lippy on, hair styled! Its only a daytime walk but i dont care, im going for it

Hope you feel better soon @bangheadhere40 xx

Hi @Helloandhappyday.. maybe it was just awkwardness if if is was a first time meet... tbh i wouldnt like to be hugged hello if its someone ive never met .. esp with covid distancing..

@Shayelle2009 I've been looking at new gym stuff today. I'm counting the days until the gym reopens. I don't need to impress him, he stands there in front of me when I'm jumping in class he gets a good view of my boobs (which aren't small)😂 he does it deliberately!

Aww glad you decided to meet Mr Physical. Hope it goes well.

So my ghoster has just replied to my message, surely he must realise. 🤦‍♀️

Glad youve got mr gym fit to think about @Isitreally7777... bet he’s hotter than Geek!
(Yep im shallow!!)

@Shayelle2009 it's difficult as Computer Geek works out a lot, got a six pack and biceps to die for! Mr Gym Fit though is a personal trainer, fit, is lovely, has dimples and is always happy.

Ah I have been out of this game for 18 years and have no clue how it works anymore. I've literally just told Computer Geek that. I feel like I've been overthinking and making things complicated. I had sex with my ex the first night I met him and we were together for 14 years and I don't remember ever thinking about whether it was going to go anywhere or whether it would be serious. And yet I've told Computer Geek I don't do one night stands and I don't want casual but I don't want serious. I've made things so complicated instead of just going with the flow.

YOU havent made things complicated @Isitreally7777. Hes the one whos a mess, dicking about leading you a merry dance. You know what you want... that doesnt make things complicated x

I feel like relationships were so much simpler back in the day. People get damaged as they get older and it messes people up. Youre ok @Isitreally7777 i think he just cooks your head you know.

@Shayelle2009 thank you.🥰 he actually came back and said he doesn't have a clue either. I just worry about getting hurt and having to go through the pain of a broken heart again or falling for someone who doesn't feel the same.