He does nothing.

[chickennuggs]

I can't remember the last time my 'DP' did anything around the house that wasn't for his sole benefit.

I cook, clean, do the dishes, take the bins out, meal plan and order food shopping, put the shopping away, laundry. I also work full time, 7.30am-5.30pm weekdays, with around half a day on a weekend as prep. I'm working from home at the moment. He does some ad-hoc work, a few hours a week.

He used to do more- he would do the dishes because I cooked, sort recycling and rubbish, strip the bed. It's gradually stopped and I've picked up more and more, probably over the last year.

He came to bed really late last night/this morning but had set a load on to wash on timer. When it finished, I took it out to dry and realised he had picked through the basket and only pulled out HIS stuff to wash.

The bathroom really needs a clean but I told him last week it was his turn to do it for a change. It's still not done and it's driving me crazy. He leaves mess out when he stays up at night, so I come down in the morning to a shit tip. I've asked, nagged, shouted, begged him to at least clean up after himself and put things in the right place, and I've tried just leaving it, but he seems blind to it.

I don't know what else to do. Is it reaching LTB territory? Death by towering pile of cans he won't put in the recycling?

Sounds worse than having a teenaged DS to be honest. I would not tolerate that from a partner.

Good grief, do you have to ask? He sounds dreadful. I really hope you don’t have children. I’d run away from this pronto.

Could be worse. You could be married to him and have kids.

Dump the chump. Lazy bastard.

Do you have children with this man?

If not, I would be ending the relationship today. No need to keep in touch. Nice and simple - bugger off now, mate.

If there are DC involved, I'd be sorting out the legal aspects of what will need to happen and then sitting down to end the relationship once I was clear what I wanted to say.

You're not his mother; I wouldn't put up with it either.

No, no kids, thank god. We own the house together though.

I don't understand what has changed. It never used to be this bad.

But yes, I feel like I'm his bloody mother and it's so deeply unattractive. I don't want to spend my life nagging.

You've reached peak shit flatmate territory.

Nah, not worth the effort.

TOTALLY not worth the effort. Men like that don't improve - they only ever get worse.

Nah, sod that.
Partners should make your life easier and bring put the best in you. Otherwise, why bother?

He literally does the opposite. I'd rather be single.

He sounds awful, LTB pronto! Get legal advice, can you buy him out of the property? Did he chip in much? Can he stay with family?

Then I would sit him down tonight and say This relationship is over for me. We need to arrange about selling the house.

I wouldn't give him the courtesy of bothering to explain why. He must surely know that he is not putting anything in. And financially he sounds a drain if he's only doing a bit of ad hoc work. I'm buggered if I'd be supporting someone this lazy and useless.

@NovemberR

Then I would sit him down tonight and say This relationship is over for me. We need to arrange about selling the house.

I wouldn't give him the courtesy of bothering to explain why. He must surely know that he is not putting anything in. And financially he sounds a drain if he's only doing a bit of ad hoc work. I'm buggered if I'd be supporting someone this lazy and useless.

Totally agree with this. You’ve tried everything but it hasn’t worked. There is nowhere else for this relationship to go but down. You’re not married and have no children. What’s keeping you there? Love isn’t enough to put up with this. You can love someone but still leave if it’s not working for you. You deserve better.

I find this behaviour so offensive. He’s basically telling you that the grunt work is beneath him but not beneath you. You are are nothing more than a grunt to clear up after him. You should be insulted, offended and angry.

How's he paying his share?

So he'll do his own washing. Time to do your own washing, ironing, cooking etc. He needs to start to pull his weight and do 50% of all housework, chores, diy etc

I couldn't be with someone who go took the piss like that.

He sounds like my teenager ! Get rid his a lazy arse

realised he had picked through the basket and only pulled out HIS stuff to wash.

Wow, he may as well have just done a shit on your pillow.

He clearly wants out of the relationship, so do both of you a favour and tell him to get in the bin.

But before you do that: in the morning when you go downstairs and he's left rubbish everywhere, pick it all up, take it upstairs and drop it all onto his peacefully slumbering face.

You could always show him that article a bloke wrote when his wife left because of a pile of dishes.

Please start only doing things for your own benefit or leave the relationship

There is no point in clinging on to this relationship. He does nothing because he doesn't have to. He doesn't respect you or care for you.

Picking his own stuff out of the washing and ignoring you is very deep into LTB territory, sorry OP. He is not a partner, partners pull their weight.

He has no respect for you, leave the selfish fucker as soon as you can.

Why are you with him op? What do you like about him so much that makes you even question this?
You have no children, thus he should only be in your life if he makes it better. If he doesn't, then, ltb.

Tell him you won't be doing anything for him any longer. Shop for your own food and cook only for you, same with the washing and ironing. Just stop doing it all.

Agree with others OP. Time to pack his bags. He's giving you a nice little taster of what he'd be like if you had kids - basically useless.

Get rid

@wibblewombat

You could always show him that article a bloke wrote when his wife left because of a pile of dishes.

It's called 'too tall to ride:. I showed it to DH years ago, just got him angry. I was told it was horrible of me to be bothering him with all these petty issues when he was so busy at work. Really should have left then.