Anyone want to join the breakup club?

[Herewegoagain22]

So today, my partner of 3 years ended things with me. Deep down I know it was for the best (for both of us) but it doesn’t stop it hurting like hell. There genuinely is no going back. It’s just going through this horrible period of looking for his texts, wondering what he’s up to, missing him in general and generally just feeling lost that I can’t stand

Thistooshallpass0, I'm 60 and broke up with him 8 weeks ago, I am so depressed even tho he was a complete bastard. Will I find someone again... still feels the same whatever age. This is equally as painful as when I was widowed but in a different way. And the prospect of starting again... omg is daunting to say the least.

@Carreterra oh god that's horrific for you I'm so sorry. How are you doing?

To the poster who has split after 36 years (sorry I can't remember you username now typing and it won't let me check) you can do this. We've got you

Update from me, he's been back (of course he has, and I've let him, more fool me)

He loves me, he's sorry blah blah. I'm not even buying it so I why have I let him back in the house!!

I am 2 years post break up & still sad. Only recently is he with someone else. He spent his 30th birthday with her yesterday, we always talked about when he turned 30. Nothing to say really just feel lonely

@TwoPaperAirplanes I have a horrible feeling I’m going to be exactly the same with my husband, so don’t be too hard on yourself for letting him back in. Try and remind yourself why you’re not together and stay strong.

Husband is finally leaving tomorrow morning. I’m dreading the loneliness.

I've spent the last 2 Sundays with the ex and ds playing happy families
It seems such a shame when we're like this and feels like such a waste but I still don't think I'm going to let him back
I just keep thinking of all the times he's hidden the drinking and then tried to tell me I was 'mental' of 'paranoid' and tried to make it out to be my issue
I shouldn't have to worry whether my husband is sober or pissed when I get up on a morning
And he won't get any help or barely admit he's got a problem so he's not going to change
I know if I let him back id soon regret it

@fedup078 I totally understand. It sounds as though not taking him back is the right thing, such a shame he won’t get help. It’s good that you can coparent in such a friendly way though. I hope me and my ex can always do that.

@SorryAboutTheTypos if you feel lonely we are here, what's your rl support like? Do you have a friend or relative you can call when you're feeling like you need to chat?

I can't imagine spending 20+ years with someone and them treating me that badly, you're well rid. Keep reminding yourself too ❤️

@SorryAboutTheTypos I think it'll be ok doing stuff like this until one of us finds someone else and it'll probably be him first

@fedup078 at the moment I can imagine we’ll
still do quite a lot together as a family, but that’ll go out of the window if he starts again with OW. I’ve told him if that happens I want absolutely nothing to do with her (and I don’t think I’ll want anything to do with him either). If he doesn’t get back with her then I can’t see either of us starting anything new any time soon, he’s too antisocial and I can’t believe I’ll ever trust anyone again or believe that I’m good enough. They joined together to do a great job of destroying my confidence when it comes to relationships.

@TwoPaperAirplanes fortunately I have a great family and friends who have been very supportive. Sadly no one local to meet up
with in real life, but at least they’re there on the phone or WhatsApp.

3 months post breakup and I spent last night in tears in bed. It's so frustrating. I want to move forward but it just isn't happening. I'm throwing myself into exercising and dieting as I feel it's the only things I can control right now. People keep telling me to get out and meet someone else, but in all honestly I don't want to. And physically, I can't. I still love my ex and I just have absolutely no interest in being with anyone else. This is also frustrating because I know it's over and he's no longer in contact (and has more than likely already moved on with someone else). Why isn't this getting easier. Why can't i stop loving someone who has absolutely no interest in me. I feel so pathetic

@Herewegoagain22

Pathetic? Absolutely fucking not. You're hurting. I promise you it passes..... don't fight it. Feel it and let is pass. I'm so sorry you're going through this x x

Its obviously just normal because were all feeling the same, were all in this together x

Thanks so much for starting this thread. It’s been a sleepless night for me and it has really helped reading your posts and knowing I am not alone.

I have been married for 9 years and my husband moved out yesterday. We have 2 little boys together age 5 and 7. We have argued non stop for years and the relationship is so draining. My husband worked loads and I have felt like a single parent since having my children. I however now feel a loneliness like never before even though I spent most of my married life on my own.

My husband was not a bad person however he was just not right for me. It was my decision to end things as I could not cope with any more arguing. My 5 year old cried himself to sleep last night in bed beside me. I feel so guilty putting my children through this. I just can’t go on any longer being so unhappy.

I was the victim of a terrible accident 18 months ago (I was knocked down by a reckless driver) and think the near death experience changed me. My husband was not by my side supporting me, it was my sister that flew home from Canada and spent a month caring for me while my husband worked 7 days a week. I think I have held a grudge ever since as I would have been by his side if it had been him.

Anyway sorry for the rant. I just feel so scared and terrified of being on my own. All my friends are in happy marriages and I live in a village where everyone’s life looks perfect. I don’t know any single mums at school. I m worried I will be judged. I have not confided in anyone and being honest don’t have any close friends. Please tell me it gets easier.

@Boymum99 I’m sorry to read your story although it sounds as though in time you’ll realise it’s a good decision. Please don’t think that everyone else around you is in a happy marriage and that they judge you, there’s probably an awful lot you don’t know about them behind closed doors. I suspect most people will be astounded when they hear me and my ex have separated as we’ve always given off the impression of being happy to everyone around us. I suspect there are a lot of people who have similar lives to you who aren’t ready to walk away. Good luck and remember we’re here for a chat.

He’s gone! I feel even sadder than I thought I would.

Thanks. Bizarrely I confided in someone this morning who then opened up that she is on the verge of splitting up with her husband. It’s nice to not feel so alone. My husband Is promising me the world but I know it won’t last as been here before. I notified my boys school today so starting to make it official.

Me please. I've just returned from a dog walk
And had tears streaming down my face the whole time. If anyone passed me I had to pull my scarf up over my face and pretend I was scared of Covid, rather than bawling like a maniac in the street.
Day 3 for me. I love him so much, but he's not the right man for me so I had to end it.

Sending big hugs moochooser. My emotional also all over the place and I felt teary at school pick up this morning as the breakup so painful for my 5 year old. It’s is birthday party this month at ab outdoor ski centre and my ex already told me he won’t be coming. My little one will be devastated.

@moochooser sorry to hear that you need to join us too.

I’m past caring about people seeing me crying in the street, it’s become a regular occurrence over the past year and a half. It amazes me though how many people walk straight past without asking if I’m OK. I have met a few amazing strangers though. One knows the whole story of my husband’s affair as I needed to talk to someone and I wasn’t ready to open up to anyone I actually knew. Interestingly it’s always men who ask if I’m OK, women always ignore me and walk past.

@Boymum99 wow! How selfish of him. At least your son has you putting him first x

@moochooser

Me please. I've just returned from a dog walk And had tears streaming down my face the whole time. If anyone passed me I had to pull my scarf up over my face and pretend I was scared of Covid, rather than bawling like a maniac in the street. Day 3 for me. I love him so much, but he's not the right man for me so I had to end it.

Big love to you. I have to listen to podcasts on my walks. I can’t stand the silence that makes my mind go round in circles.

15 days since my break up. We had a temporary separation before this and I was a mess. Only when I finally felt strong enough to really let him go did he magically sense it and ‘accidentally’ call me & I was dragged back in.

This time I was unceremoniously dumped over whatsapp. He was always a coward. I’m determined to get past this and move on properly this time. I just wish the dreams would stop and the overthinking. I have to fill silences all the time & dread weekends without the structure & mind filling of work.

I am so confused, so when me and my ex saw each other the past couple of months, weve both had 'minimal contact', but recently, now iv been showing him i cba anymore, hes started asking me if id like a drink when i go, and telling me all about his work, job etc etc, is this because hes 'over me' and feels comfortable talking to me now or is he maybe starting to miss me? yesterday he also got really close and touched my hand twice, i know that isnt anything major, but it did seem slightly flirty.. i dont know what to make of it all