Anyone want to join the breakup club?

[Herewegoagain22]

So today, my partner of 3 years ended things with me. Deep down I know it was for the best (for both of us) but it doesn’t stop it hurting like hell. There genuinely is no going back. It’s just going through this horrible period of looking for his texts, wondering what he’s up to, missing him in general and generally just feeling lost that I can’t stand

@TwoPaperAirplanes
I'm sorry you are devastated about this. You say you're not in the same department at work, I hope you're far enough apart for it not to cause problems. I met my STBX at work too, neither of us have dependant children & we're not married, so it's not like the emotional trauma of divorce.

@Carreterra we have to cross paths almost daily but don't really have to have 121 contact, it's not ideal but also not terrible. I'm relieved we didn't buy a house together or anything like that, if I'm honest. Rather now than if that was the case. You're right, it's not as awful as going through a divorce (got that T-shirt!) I feel like I'm quickly moving to the anger stage after a chat with one of my friends today (she also knows him quite well). She pointed out some things that I'd overlooked/just written off as "how he is", which has helped me enormously.

How are you dealing with things? Are you still living together?

How's everyone doing?
I'm spending the day with ex tomorrow
Really cba. Won't be making a habit of it
Think just how much I'm not looking forward to it just shows how this split is for the best

I'm up and down still. Was doing well until I went back to the office full time, after a year of working from home, don't know why that made any difference but it did. The last week I've really missed him, which I haven't really since we split. Trying to remember how he treated me, but my mind is just focusing on how good things were in the beginning

Herewegoagain22, I'm the same, thinking only of the good times. Apparently he is being investigated for cancer my friend tells me, I'm now so confused. I want to see him as amazingly I still love him tho he is the biggest bastard on earth... or do I want to see him as I feel sorry for him. This is fucking with my head and now back to the crying all the time. I want the whole thing to stop and me step off.

@Herewegoagain22 My breakup happened the same time as yours, which I posted about at the time, and I'm also having good and bad days, which I was beating myself up about, so glad to hear I'm not the only one.

Hello everyone, my DH and I split up just last week, 31 years of marriage, 36 years together. I’m struggling, big time.

I’ve only had 14 years of my life without him, and I don’t know what to do, I just don’t see a future for me. He cheated on me but my feelings for him haven’t just turned off. I just can’t cope, I’m devastated.

@fedup078 hope tomorrow goes ok, it must be hard seeing him. Think you need to be quite strong to do that so I admire you!

@Wonderlust2 that's a really tough position to be in. It's creating another emotional tie that you could probably be doing without. What do you think you will do?

@Teatimes2 it's awful isn't it. I just feel like I'm never going to love anyone like I did him. Anyone I look at I just feel nothing for and can't imagine having a connection with anyone like we did. I'm so over feeling like this.

@Californiansunsets I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's beyond an emotional rollercoaster. We are all here for you on your journey though, just message the thread when you need to. Everyone here has been so great when I've needed some outside advice or just to listen to my rambling. It is very early days for you, so please, try to take care of yourself the best you can. Whilst it is the last thing on your mind, self care is so important. Sending hugs

Herewegoagain22 I have no idea what to do for the best. Hide in a dark room until it all goes away is one thought. I feel so unstable emotionally, what a mess.

I'm still as fucked up as I was before haha

@wow1111 that made me laugh out loud

He FaceTimed ds today and I think he was drunk . This was lunch time
He made my skin crawl
In a way im glad he did something so outrageous to end our relationship and in a way made the decision for me. Even if he'd cheated then that would still have been my decision to forgive and take him back but he took it out of my hands really

Is anyone having constant dreams about their ex? It is really starting to torment me now. Every single night, and they're becoming more horrible as the days go on. I'm back in the office full time now and each morning it's knocking me for six. I'm sick of it

My ex is still literally never off my mind

It's been about 11 weeks for me and it's just getting harder, not easier and it's so frustrating. I really want him to contact me and say he's made a huge mistake, but I know that will never happen. I need to try and remember how unhappy I was and how he treated me, but my mind isn't allowing that right now and it's really messing me up.

I'm doing all the right things, eating well, exercising (alot), no alcohol, reading, meditating, back in the office, seeing friends, and instead of feeling better I feel worse. I don't think I'll ever feel the way I feel about him about anyone else, and it scares me

I'm also about 11 weeks. Have been dreaming 2 or 3 nights a week about him. Although I'm not crying as much, it's all I think about.

Joining in for the first time. My husband is moving out at the weekend. I feel like my emotions are all over the place. It’s nice to have a place to chat with people that understand.

@Herewegoagain22 I'm the exact same, I'm four months now, but I still see my ex twice a week.. he's started opening up to me these past couple of weeks and we've actually been having a laugh.. it's so confusing

@SorryAboutTheTypos
Sorry to hear that
Would you like to talk about it?

I think I would, although I’m not sure where to start.

Together for nearly 20 years, married for 15, 2 children. He had an affair, we decided to try again, he’s still not happy.

I found out months ago, but it’s only just starting to hit me the depth of the lies that he told. How someone who is supposed to care could do that.

I am in the same position as you SorryAboutTheTypos I’m devastated.
My husband moved out just over a week ago, and an affair.

For me I just don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.

@SorryAboutTheTypos Eugh its all just too common
My break up this time is different but I have twice been in the situation where the man I madly loved has dropped me like I was shit on his shoe
It's so hard to get your head around someone who says they love you doing something so cruel
I hope you have plenty of support in rl

@TwoPaperAirplanes
Sorry about the delay in replying, yes we were living together until last month, I have bought a terraced house near to where we used to live, & he has moved in with 2 friends. We had to live as housemates until the house was sold, & believe it or not he asked me on 17th March, would I consider pulling out of the house sale ! ( We exchanged contracts on our shared house on 30th March !! ) It was just as things were not going his way, he was trying to arrange a rental property, but at each viewing, he was regarded with suspicion, as he's on his own. He also has health problems, & I wouldn't be human if I didn't feel really sorry for him, but he pushed for the house sale, chasing the sicitors up every fortnight. I hope things improve for you, thinking of you & your family (flowers)

solicitors !!! Blinking phone !!!