Anyone want to join the breakup club?

[Herewegoagain22]

So today, my partner of 3 years ended things with me. Deep down I know it was for the best (for both of us) but it doesn’t stop it hurting like hell. There genuinely is no going back. It’s just going through this horrible period of looking for his texts, wondering what he’s up to, missing him in general and generally just feeling lost that I can’t stand

@MotherHaryy what an awful way to be treated. I hope that’s only solidified the fact you are MUCH better off without him. Sometimes the evidence for all of us is right in front of our noses and is so blatant. But out silly hearts still make us spend too much time on someone we know is no good for us

Ladies - what’s your thoughts please. My ex deleted his social media (right before the call he used to dump me - funny that). I still have his mum, sisters and brother on there, I couldn’t bring myself to delete them as I didn’t have an issue with them and we always got on well. But I am worried I see them post something with ExDP in the photo etc. I don’t want the gut wrenching moment when I see him happy at an event or with someone else. Should I remove them as friends too? I feel conflicted about the whole thing.

@Herewegoagain22 if you unfollow them they would never know
You'd still be friends but won't see anything about them on your timeline

I thought of that. But it still leaves the temptation of me to have a look (my self control is terrible) and for them to see what I’m doing.

@Herewegoagain22 you need to do what's best for you in this situation, if you can unfollow then that would be best

@Herewegoagain22 if it makes you feel any better you could always send them a msg first just saying you're not doing it out of spite or anything they've done wrong but it's too painful

@Herewegoagain22 Sending hugs, you are doing brilliantly
@crochetmonkey74 I haven't read the full thread yet, but I can relate to your situation, a few pages back you said you had spent time sobbing at work. That was me yesterday, everyone avoided me in an embarrassed silence. I live in the same house as my former partner until we exchange contracts on this house, and the house rent where I am moving to is more than I earn each month. I am still saddened by the break up, but worried about money too. Just keep going and keep posting here where we can all encourage each other.
@Changeychange1 Great news from you, well done ! Did you meet your new partner by chance? Thankyou all for sharing.

I did block his best friend, admittedly. They have a very weird relationship where they are together almost everyday, ExDP best friend is an arsehole and caused lots of issues between us during our relationship. He also likes to post photos EVERY TIME they are together so I didn’t want to see any of that. I can imagine I am talk of his family as to why I blocked the best friend and not the rest of them. Not sure why I should care though, we are never getting back together and I will never have to see them again as ex lives 45mins away now

@Carreterra welcome to the group! Sorry you had to join though how are you feeling today? Weekends are often the hardest. It must be incredibly difficult still living under the same roof. But equally once they leave it is just as hard. Can’t win sometimes!

@Herewegoagain22 I'm ok today thankyou, we are being civil to each other. Just hope the house buyer doesn't back out now ! Still catching up with the thread , I jumped from page 7 to 10, now I'm going to trawl back for all the wonderful stories of encouragement. My DD sent me a text a few weeks ago which just said "Courage, Mum". I wrote "Summer 2023" in a notebook just now, a random date which simply means I won't feel like this forever. Love to all xx

@Carreterra - Hello! What a wonderful way of looking at it, i think I might pick a random date and hopefully it can change my mindset a little!

@Herewegoagain22 - I know your right, I've made so many excuses for the bruises and just nasty things he has done and if I'm honest, if it wasn't for the baby, I think I'd have stayed. I know I'm not right in the head for it but you really can't help who you love. I love him more than I love myself and that's been my whole problem from the moment I met him. I know I'm doing the right thing now and I will be better off soon! Thank you for your kind words! X

Hiya all. Not a bad day. I've dipped my toe into online dating, had a nice chat on the phone, she seems nice, agreed we'll meet for a walk. But I'm a little worried that I'm rushing it a bit, it's only 5 weeks since ex left, and I do still miss him.

How do you know when to start dating again?

Man here hope ok to join posted my own before but can relate to much of this thread. Year ago wife decided to separate to be with her coworker we’ve been on/off since. Currently off and she’s looking for somewhere else to live. To say it’s been hell is an understatement and she is using house as a base while she’s seeing OM (not brought him here or anything). Acting like all of this is normal

Been together since I was 15 so she’s all I have known, not much family around and parents gone. Hate the idea of coming out if lockdown as they can then go out on proper dates (yuk) while I am left behind grieving what to me was a good marriage and my soulmate, makes me so angry.

Urghh. Seeing the stbxh today, first time since he told me he's done. He's coming to see the girls and we are going to have a chat about things that need to be sorted.
Too early for wine at 8am?😂😂(joking, I rarely drink).

@feeficken you need to get her out and file for divorce
I don't understand why people string people along it's just cruel in top of the the initials betrayal

Hi everyone, how are you all doing? Welcome @feeficken, I totally agree with @fedup078 about getting her out, how can people be so cruel?

@MMMarmite it’s only been 2 weeks since my relationship ended but the thought of dating has crossed my mind, more in moments of despair and self doubt, I keep thinking who would want me? The thought of online dating terrifies me but over the last day it’s not seemed as scary, I’m not ready but there will be a day when I am, I think you just go for it and follow your heart for what feels right for you?

Weekends are awful, though since ex left on Monday this is the first weekend I’ve had alone as I left my house to try and avoid the awkwardness, my parents are now in my bubble and have come over to help me decorate to try and get my house feeling like mine, but it’s the loneliness on a nighttime which I’m struggling with, can only see this getting worse next weekend when ex is apparently coming to collect ddog for two weeks

@Ofalltheginjoints @fedup078 I wish I could but it’s a joint mortgage. At this point I am honestly considering moving out AGAIN, this would be the second time I’ve moved out but again it seems there is no end in sight for this. If roles where reversed I would never treat her this way in fact I thing the guilt and shame would eat me alive first.

Yeah weekends are pretty hard as so much more time on my hands, at least work is a distraction during the week. She is away out with the OM again so at least this a bit of peace and it’s nice and Sunny so I went for a cycle.

Ah I see @feeficken that makes things more difficult, would she be willing to move out as she is the one who has caused this?

Distraction techniques are really good I used to row and wish I still did as there is nothing like a long row to clear the head.

A tweet from ex came through to my phone just now, talking about how awesome is it to be back with his mother in his 30’s as they get more time together, fair enough just when we were together he never wanted to visit, it’s so stupid but it made me cry, have now unfollowed on Twitter

@Ofalltheginjoints I’ve asked her to move in with her Dad as he has plenty of space but she says she doesn’t want to. She’s supposed to be looking for a flat but she is dragging her heels on that.

It seems they turn into completely different people or perhaps it’s just the real them that we ignored.

Had a fun weekend but now having a down day today :(

Hope you're all having a better Monday!

I'm actually feeling really positive
I can't wait for him to go
I was worried he'd been drinking most of yday but then I thought you know what I don't care , it won't be my problem much longer
He's just rang from work asking if there's anyway we can stop this from happening
Nope

That sounds good fedup078 :-) You might need an updated user name soon!

@MMMarmite I’m glad you had a nice weekend, it makes all the difference. I’ll join you on the ‘down day’ today though. I woke up and I keep thinking about ExDP and how much I miss him. It’s really annoying

for @Herewegoagain22. We'll get through this.

Can someone explain what dp dc etc means please???

I'm also having a bit of a shit day today :(