Am I expecting too much or is this the norm...

[Oldbutnew]

I'm 45 and divorced with teens.
Been dating a guy also divorced with younger dc for 18 months.
We haven't met children or families yet. Lockdown has pretty much meant our relationship has just been the two of us hanging out in each other's homes when we are childfree.
I saw him a lot last year, every couple of days for 2 days at a time or a whole weekend but he's asked me for some space and that we see each other every 3 or 4 days instead for an evening together and over night stay.
I was gutted.
He says it's not me he just needs some time to himself after the kids have gone.
I want to believe that but he's also texting and messaging me in the gap between us seeing each other much less. Good morning texts are rarely sent by him first anymore and he takes a while to respond to mine. We used to chat on and off throughout the evening and dont do that now either.
Ive made my feelings quite clear, I love him but I'm worried I'm either being taken for granted or hes just not into me anymore.
I feel so sick and anxious all the time, I'm just living day to day till the next time I see him.
Is seeing each other this amount after 18 months ok ?
Should I try and back off ?
The other day we were cuddling and I told him he had become my best friend, he hugged me back and said what a lovely thing to say but didnt say it back...

@Oldbutnew

I have spoke to him about it. I do understand his need for space, I think my anxiety comes from doubting whether his need is really because he wants to see me less because he's losing interest. He says no. But I can't shake it off. Thats me not him.

You're not supposed to shake off your feelings, though. They are the core of you, guiding you (or trying to) into a situation where you feel happy.

Discomfort is a primary instinct. It's designed to move us away from things that aren't good for us. His behaviour in the relationship is no longer good for you. It doesn't matter whether he's losing interest or not. It doesn't matter if you're 'needy' or not. It matters that you're not happy, and you don't feel emotionally safe, and you need to move away from the thing that's causing you to be in this emotional position.

Can you see that that's right, even if you don't think you can do it?