Besides, OP seems to be handling it with minimal awkwardness, that's not the issue. The issue is that the fuckers are doing it in the first place.
Yep.
Eventually it was effort not to roll my eyes and say "oh another one". I wasn't looking for attention but it found me anyway
You've summed it up perfectly. I don't find it flattering or confidence boosting. I'd rather be invisible to them. I enjoy male company, I always have done. It's just sad that, as others have said, so many men seem unable to have female friends.
The one thing I would say - the incident where you said the husband was just being attentive and too close, but never declared feelings - are you sure he had them?
Yes. He did eventually say something. And tbh it became obvious. I did feel awkward. Especially as he was the one whose wife never came out with us and my friend was encouraging me to 'go for it' 🙄
She had a bit of a track record for dating married men - she totally bought the script and felt the wives deserved it for being so awful. Again 🙄
I'm no longer friends with her for related reasons.
How do the husbands get your number - do they get it from their wives ?
Sometimes its them I met first. Sometimes you just meet someone and get on with them but I always made an effort to get to know their wives early on. Sometimes, yes, their wives have given them my number. Sometimes its because we do a shared hobby and I've messaged the wife to ask her to ask him something technical that she didnt know and she has told me to ask him directly and given me his number.
Mostly, its via fb messaging. So we're either all fb friends because we know each other, they're all friends with each other and so it would be weird if I just refused to be 'friends' with the men. And would probably look quite arrogant if I refused on the grounds that, at some point, they might message me inappropriately!
As for the skater dresses etc... I've got an hourglass figure and I wear what suits me! If i don't wear something that has a defined waist I just look like a bag of rags or enormous. I'm not going to apologise for my body or wearing clothes that suit it.
I am happily single. It would be nice to be in a relationship but it just hasn't happened for me and the more i experience of this kind of thing, the less interested i am tbh 🤷🏻♀️
I think the manic pixie dream girl comment was probably quite accurate. My adult son has said similar. I'd never heard of it before he said it. I don't very often look like a sophisticated, mature woman... and I dont really want to either. I'm happy with me.
I was married a long time ago but not for long (4 years) and I have no desire to remarry. My relationships are all quite short term and 'flingy' but that's not through choice. I'd be happy with one man. I dont crave attention, I dont flirt, I dont seek male approval or validation.
I am nice. Otherwise these women wouldnt be so welcoming or so happy for me to be friends with their husbands too. I'm not 'threatening' in any way. I'm 'nice'. I'm not a female fatale 
Tbh I find that it’s not the blatant sexily dressed type that these men particularly go for. I am quiet, very unflirty, don’t show off my figure particularly (no skater dresses) but I have always got into messy stalkerish situations with men all my life.
Maybe... if I were 5'8, blonde and slim, I might understand it more. I'd fit a 'sexy stereotype' then at least. But I dance badly like an idiot, drink ale, and play a typically masculine instrument. I go to festivals and camping on my own and never have the need for a man to help me. If I go somewhere alone, I'm far more likely to be approached by a group of women who seek to protect the lone woman than men who are attracted to me. It's really almost exclusively married male friends (and the occasional drunk bloke in a pub who doesnt count) who hit on me - which is , again, largely why I'm single. I rarely wear heels and make up. Like I say, I'm a stone overweight but generally look after myself and present myself well but I'm not going to apologise for any of that either.