Phrases that make you swipe left

[JimmyJabs]

I'm a glutton for punishment, so I've recently gone back on OLD, and I'm finding it something of a trial so far. All the things that used to annoy me about people's profiles are still exactly the same as when I was last doing this! These are my instant nope phrases:

My kids are my life (so where would a potential girlfriend fit in? Also, that's just basic parenting...)

I don't take myself/life too seriously (almost guaranteed to be immature and flaky, and leave all the boring life admin to some other sucker)

Not looking for a penpal (will exchange a maximum of 5 messages with you before suggesting that you meet up for 'fun 😉')

Is anyone genuine on here? (Dude, maybe don't advertise the fact that nobody ever replies to you)

I'm 6ft, because apparently that matters (while being short is not unattractive to me, passive aggression certainly is)

What are your instantly offputting phrases? I'd be intrigued to know what men have to say about this too, in case I'm being inadvertently annoying myself...

@JimmyJabs

Argh... people who use lol as punctuation. I once sent a polite "no, I don't want to see you again" to a man who I'd been on an awful date with, and he replied "well at least your honest lol". Why is that funny? Why??

'Lol' used in place of a full-stop makes me imagine the person accompanying every remark with an inane giggle.

Sapiosexual 🤮

Anything lazily stereotyping women 'no drama, fakes, fillers, filters'.

Just ask.

There was a woman in here once who was asking why all the men on OLD were skinny and standing next to bicycles. I dunno why but it tickled me so much, I’ve never forgotten it.

About once a year I decide to have a look but come off with severe depression a few hours later.

It’s absolutely hideous on there and when someone tells me they met someone from there and it actually worked I am always shocked.

Yes why do men love lol so much? Do they know what it means? Every other word is lol and they use it to end a sentence. Its minor but just makes me pull a face!

Yes to the cynicism too, I'm extremely cynical myself now but I try and not let it show as its deeply offputting. You can just tell these men are arseholes by their horrible negative profiles which are basically just a rant on how crap they think women are. Vile!!

@Mermaidwaves

Yes why do men love lol so much? Do they know what it means? Every other word is lol and they use it to end a sentence. Its minor but just makes me pull a face!

Yes to the cynicism too, I'm extremely cynical myself now but I try and not let it show as its deeply offputting. You can just tell these men are arseholes by their horrible negative profiles which are basically just a rant on how crap they think women are. Vile!!

Its only really men who use online dating and are a bit thick who use it though. The majority of men manage to communicate perfectly well without using it. I think because they chat to a lot of women online at a very banal level and use it instead of words, probably because they only have a limited supply of words anyway.

Not all OLD profiles rant about women. Some are devious and set their bio up to look harmless. They lie about wanting a relationship, lead you on, triangulate and act entitled if you decide they're not for you.

@ItisLikethis

Not all OLD profiles rant about women. Some are devious and set their bio up to look harmless. They lie about wanting a relationship, lead you on, triangulate and act entitled if you decide they're not for you.

Very true. I used online dating around 2 years ago. Chatting to 3 different men. One live bombed, although I was naive and had never heard of the term. Did a full on 'you have betrayed me when I met one of the others I was also chatting to for a coffee. I was upfront and said chatting to 3 men, just taking it slowly...he was horrible and made me doubt myself. Another was seeing a woman and said he thought he was settling with her, she had health problems and he implied she wasn't very intelligent and brought little to the relationship....he was hoping to find someone else before moving on.... he is still with her (poor lady). The third person was lovely, genuine and fun. They do exist....in old ... just few and far between

@poppyzbrite4

Not looking for a pen pal - I'm sat here with my cock in my hand.

ALL WOMEN ARE FUCKING NUTS, PROVE ME WRONG! MY EX WAS A FUCKING PSYCHO. NO TIME WASTERS! I'M A GENUINE GUY AND LOOKING FOR MY PRINCESS - I'm barking.

This.

The third person was lovely, genuine and fun. They do exist....in old ... just few and far between

@SpringIsComingAlways That's reassuring. If I'm honest with myself, I'm feeling so disillusioned by my last encounter with OLD that I've decided to stay away from it until the pandemic is pretty much over.

@Dodododahdahdah

There was a woman in here once who was asking why all the men on OLD were skinny and standing next to bicycles. I dunno why but it tickled me so much, I’ve never forgotten it.

About once a year I decide to have a look but come off with severe depression a few hours later.

It’s absolutely hideous on there and when someone tells me they met someone from there and it actually worked I am always shocked.

I was on a thread once where the OP made a lighthearted observation about OLD being full of incredibly similar-looking potato men, and she got absolutely shredded for being shallow and mean. I was half-expecting this thread to go the same way, if I'm being honest.

I know a few people who met, married and had families with partners they met on OLD, so I know it must work sometimes. But the sheer difficulty in even getting to the meeting up stage is what gets me. So many men either stop replying after a few messages, or turn things sexual, or prove themselves to be unpleasant in some other way.

@JimmyJabs Which begs the question - where do you find pleasant men? Men who are serious about dating... and eventually finding love?

@nervalslobster

School of hard knocks/university of life = thick as pig shit, and with a chip on my shoulder about it too.

Was going to add this . I hate that .

[quote ItisLikethis]@JimmyJabs Which begs the question - where do you find pleasant men? Men who are serious about dating... and eventually finding love?[/quote]
Its so much easier to meet men in real life, who will go on an actual date, or something casual involving friends.

I tend to meet men (there aren't many!) through mutual friends or sporty hobbies, like mountain biking.

OLD is a waste of time - an awful lot of effort to meet up with men who are more likely than not going to ghost you, not meet up with you or pretty unsuitable. I am convinced that most of them are on there for casual sex or because something is wrong with them. But mostly casual sex, so the chances of being coerced into having sex with someone you aren't that into, earlier than you are comfortable with, who is going to treat you badly by then ghosting you, are very high with OLD, and I can't understand why so many women are still sold on the idea that they're going to meet their Prince Charming on there. I do have friends (2) who met their now DHs on OLD, but they were were all no older than 32 when they met, and they all had mutual friends in common and checked them out with them before getting involved.

I'm now married to my lovely H that I met on POF. His profile was really shit , he had a terrible photo of him pulling his face back to give himself the fattest face ever and in most of the photos he had a wedding ring on "it was all I had " . He did have a lovely side profile pic though and that combined with his proximity to me made me meet him . We met within 24 hours of chatting and that was it . It can happen .

‘Big spoon’, ‘looking for a little spoon’ etc
Anything that mentions ‘You will be...’
Nights in nights out
Any negativity
Photos of cats (cos I don’t like them)

Agree with so many on here. ‘Sapiosexual’ 🤣, ‘6ft cos apparently that’s important’

3 of the last weddings I went to were of couples who met on tinder so don’t lose hope!

Do they still do speed dating? I suppose it would be impossible with covid restrictions.

Oh yes, "big spoon looking for little spoon". Urgh, don't allude to pressing your knob into my back before we've even met.

@UpSchittsCreekWithoutAPaddle I just don't have the sorts of hobbies that men are really into, except sometimes gay ones, or guys who got into it through their wives!

I saw one guy who put, "For our first date think of something more original than a coffee or drink." Er, why, is this a test?

Other guys who say, "I'm not into texting, phone calls are ok." You seem to not get the point, we text a bit until we decide whether you are worth talking on the phone with.

‘Good kisser’ 🤢
‘Own house and car’ - so what? Me too

Anything which implies they think they are ‘above’ online dating - ‘I’m not on here much’ etc.

An reference to dishonesty/liars - screams trust issues

Oh, and “not into one night stands” - often from someone who probably doesn’t get that many opportunities for one night stands

6 feet. Tattoos. Own house. Own car. Own teeth. (With the accompanying emojis)

Another one:
I prefer girls that are natural. No pictures with filter.

Another one:
I have an 8 year old daughter (or its variant), if you can't deal with that, swipe left.

Oh yeah. Once they have their Snapchat linked on their profile, I swipe left.

@Lampan

Oh, and “not into one night stands” - often from someone who probably doesn’t get that many opportunities for one night stands

Is this from straight men? Are women who want one night stands and leave the men sad and disappointed so much of an issue that men have to make an effort to screen them out?

Pictures midway through some bike jump, next picture wearing a helmet and sunglasses. Bio says must love cycling. Not just one or two, but loads. Irl I don't know anyone who cycling hobby revolves around meeting people and going on a date. Can you imagine that conversation over coffee.

Today I had a skim through again. Why don't people check their spelling....?

I think I've managed to spot the fake profiles now. Always lots of photos, and always in another country standing in front of some tourist attraction. And in cycling gear 😂. So I look for logos on the cycling clothing and see if they are local, many have some company logo of sponsors. I'm quite impressed by my 001 skills..

I don't even know what a sapiosexual is, but there are plenty of them about.

I am not in the UK so these bios are an international problem...