Sex 'I've had better'

[Bellapinkfis]

I am writing on here as i don't have anyone i wish to talk to about this but would hugely appreciate some advice.

My partner and I have been together a year - no children of our own - he was two .

He cooks , cleans, hoovers , is generous, is fun and is supportive . We have great sex BUT he wants sex each day and I don't. For an easy life i gave him sex almost each day but in the past he has said -
I always approach you
Sometimes you just lie there

I explained - i want sex 3/4 times a week and if this was the case i would be alot more up for it and initate .I often 'lie there' as i don;t want the sex and i feel frustrated. This has caused a few heated arguments.

Last week we had a huge row and he said 'i was boring in bed and then some other stupid comments. Anyway, he agreed to less but better sex . a week goes by, I dont want sex on Sunday night - I can feel him trying it in the bed - i gnore him and he flips out. He says i gave him the signals ! He then says people who are happy and this early on should have sex each day because they want too. He then said some rude comments, swore and was shouting at me about sex saying i havne't had a mature sexual relationship et

I turned around and said - I have had much better sex with other people. He went mental and said he doesn't want to be with me , os moving out, i am a slag etc!!!

I am shocked - immature i know but i think - he should know what it feels like to have nasty comments made. He has said vile things to me and said my sex was boring. His ego is bruised so now he is upset!!

When i was listening to him last night , i thought - i don't need this bollocks. Or am i just shutting the door on something great and we just need to get through this blip?

Is it common for people to argue about sex? Especaiilly after the honeymooon phase? Am i odd for not wanting sex each day ? I have never had an issue with a previous partner and having sex 4/5 times a week

I don't know ?
Please advise

He is an abusive sex pest.

Do not think twice about leaving him. There are many amazing men out there who are so far removed than this poor excuse for a partner.

You sat him down and told him how it makes you feel and he has completely ignored it. And got worse.

It's actually abuse op. Plain and simple. He probably wants to more because you don't want it.

Theres no excuse for him to say these horrible things to you. It's not normal. Its not part of a loving relationship. Its indicative of his disordered personality.

Run for the hills. He has dropped his mask and is telling you exactly who he is.

OP he would have picked you for a reason. Men like this do.
He didn't expect you to turn around and say what you did.
He will find another victim unfortunately but don't let it be you.

No greater turn off than feeling pressured to have sex. He's vile

Wow. In response is it normal to argue about sex, the answer is no. A conversation to cover issues but demanding and shouting, name calling and bullying is not right.

Keep yourself safe and leave.

Hmm rapey and verbally abusive, what a catch! *Cough

Bin him OP, anyone can work a fucking hoover.

Oh my fucking god run for the hills! You do not need this piece of shit in your life!

You are correct - you don't need this in your life. I think you can do better.

It's not a blip. It'll get worse.

I can’t believe he has the audacity to have a go at you for just laying there. If I ever start to not feel like it my husband instantly knows and asks if I want to stop.
He wouldn’t ever continue, what a turn off that is. You’re not a sex doll. He’s disgusting

‘ He cooks , cleans, hoovers , is generous, is fun and is supportive ‘

He is NOT supportive. And cleaning, cooking and hoovering does not enable him to get away with being so disgusting.

Let him move out op.
Than thank your lucky stars that you don't have dc with him and don't have to keep in contact.

He sounds like a sex pest. And the more he wants it, the more you won’t.

You’re incompatible this shouldn’t be happening.

And just laying there is horrible. I can’t believe you’ve been doing this and he’s still proceeding, it’s disgusting, like wanking into you. And the fact you call it “giving “ him sex. As opposed to having sex with him .

You’re both incompatible and need to keep this ended. No good is going to come from it.

And you need to make a promise to youtself, if you don’t want sex you don’t have it. And if you’re with someone who can’t respect that then walk away.

He sounds awful in every way! Sexually entitled, bullying, selfish, angry and aggressive.....Thank your lucky stars that he's leaving OP!

To be honest, I think with all the extra stress of covid crap, a lot of relationships are suffering from the pressure. It’s inevitable that an argument about SOMETHING has come up in all relationships. I can’t believe the number of people who have said “dump him”....geez it’s no wonder 50% divorce rate in this country! Wait till both of your emotions have had time to calm down and have a civilised chat about it, explain your feelings to him and listen to his feelings - don’t concentrate so much on the “facts” of what is happening, listen to what he says he FEELS about the situation. For example if he says you always turn him down for sex, instead of arguing about whether that is true or not, listen to the feelings behind the statement - he feels unloved. You can resolve this, it just needs effort, all relationships do.

Wait till both of your emotions have had time to calm down and have a civilised chat about it, explain your feelings to him and listen to his feelings

She’s done that, she clearly states it. How many times would you wish her to do it whilst being called a slag?

How he feels about the situation?
He called her a slag!!!!
What the fuck is wrong with you!!!

Pp did you miss the bit where he called her a slag?
I dont think theres any fixing things after that.

Also, she told him how she felt about sex and he didnt listen and co tinned to.pressure her. Why is the onus on her to listen to his feelings if he cant listen to her?

This isn't a normal couple disagreement situation.

Sounds like he has the libido of a horny teenager and that’s just a bit gross.

Couldn’t be with that if I felt a dick being poked in my back every night. No thanks.

It still staggers me how women defend this abusive shit. Like he 'feels unloved'

Who the fuck cares when he's a massive sex pest sex and DARVO tactics.

Come on people. Don't defend this.
No wonder it is so hard to prove in court because there are still attitudes like this lit there. And that's from women.

Coercive control in court I meant

@oakleaffy

You are both very incompatible.

Sadly sex {Or lack of} is why so many marriages founder.

He will likely have sex with other people if this is his attitude.

Jesus effing hell

Sex FIVE times a week is not a lack of sex. It is not 'very incompatible' with someone who wants sex 7 times a week.

If he cheats, it isn't because he can't bare to see to go without or himself twice a week
It is because he is an absolute arsehole scumbag.

@Emily639 I can’t believe what you wrote - are you having a laugh ?

@Emily639

He has pressured her in to sex numerous times.
He has used emotional control to coerce her.
He has called her several horrible names including a slag when she finally stood up for herself.
They are not married and don’t have kids.

Not sure why you think this relationship is worth saving?!?