What's the worst thing your parents have said to you?

[again2020]

Posting on here for solidarity and to prevent me from venting to anyone in real life.

I've been offered 4 days at work from September, up from my usual 3. My parents used to do a bit of childcare before my daughter went to nursery. I broached the subject with them today about childcare 1 day a week (support bubble) and my dad had a huge rant and lost his temper with me, saying he finds DD hard work and he doesn't enjoy seeing his children or grandchildren and he doesn't have many years left to do what he wants (he's 71). Fair enough, a bit upsetting but I know not everyone wants to be childcare for their grandkids.

He later came and said his children (me and DB) have been a huge disappointment and he wouldn't recommend being a parent to anyone.

So as not to drip feed, DB is a recovering addict. He's getting a lot better though. I'm in a difficult relationship and am on antidepressants. But I don't think we've been terrible children or become terrible people. I'm sat on my own upset waiting for DD to finish playing with my mum and I don't plan on coming back to see them anytime soon.

Handhold, anyone? What's the worst thing a parent has said to you?

Scut bucket because I stayed out with a man I liked. Another time I was about 16, I was talking to her and she turned her back. I said " I'm talking to you" and she replied " who would want to talk to YOU?" There's so many things she's said but I'd be here all day.

@LowlandLucky

Maybe you need to accept that times are tough for everyone these days. You may just have been the straw that broke your Dad. He is 71 not 41, the average life expectancy for men in the U.K is 78.2years. Maybe you need to remember he has done his share of childcare.

What a way to excuse shit behaviour

No excuse for him to be nasty.

Dad, that he wished I hadn't been born. Would hit me with the belt if he felt I needed keeping in my place. Constant comparisons with others and how brilliant they were.
Mum, that I wasn't a patch on my sister, ugly, a disgrace.
When I wanted to resit my A levels, that they weren't wasting another penny on me and that I had to pay my way immediately backdated by 6 months.
My sister is very much the golden child and I was made to feel this every single day.
MIL to husband, that he was a mistake and SIL was the daughter she wished she'd had. She hated kids and ours weren't a patch on SIL's. Plus they just needed a good slap when they misbehaved.

Families- don't you just love em.

I am very sorry OP. Leave them behind and focus on your child. It's really hard but you cannot fix your parents nor their inability to deal with their own issues.

And yes to all who have shared some truly horrific stories...

Not words but actions. I was older - 30 - at the time and staying at my mother and step father's house. Discussion/row ensued about healthcare of all things. He got hideously drunk and to my mum, referred to me as "Your f daughter". he drank through the night with my mum and I cowering in the bedroom.
In the morning he kicked us both out. Mum and I went for a coffee. he rang her up crying and asked her to go back. I wasn't asked to go back. Stayed with friends. Mum asked me to go back the next day. I declined.

No kids myself but would like to think I wouldn't choose a partner over a child.

From 13 I was fat, wouldn’t amount to anything, why can’t you be normal,. Whatever I did was wrong, in later year went nd from all of them

I'm a liar and an attention seeker(was gang raped at 12 on school grounds). I'm a hypochondriac / liar / attention seeker (diagnosed CFS and MCS). I only get in contact with her if I want something (entirely the other around). I'm a shit daughter and a shit person (tried to gain her approval my whole life and did everything I ever could to make her like me and treat me like she does my brothers). I'm also little miss whiter than white because I sorted out my coke habit by age 15 and was proud of the fact, for 5 minutes anyway.

She's cut me out of her life now because I don't fit in to her conspiracy theorist agenda. My life is better now.

Crikey! I'd make you cry if I told you some of the things my mother said to me. She was an abusive narcissist and unfortunately I was the scapegoat.

“I only had kids because i wanted a council house” - said by mother when I was about 14. It’s true, she had my older brother and only got offered a flat, so then she had me and got offered a 3 bedroom house. Back when getting a council house was easy.
“I hate you” - said by mother when I was 11
“It’s your fault your mother is an alcoholic” - said by stepfather when I was 11

And when I told my mother I never wanted her near my kids ever again she said “oh well, we’ll have more grandchildren.”

Oh also “stop self harming, it makes me look like a bad parent.” I was 12.

I didn't have time to visit my mother one weekend and she said I hope your children suffer all their lives. I stopped speaking to her that day and that was about 25 years ago. My brother tells me she has vascular dementia. I feel nothing towards her.

My mum told me at 13 that as my own fault I was raped, and that I probably liked it.

Very much NC.

Fucking bitch.

'The worst thing that ever happened to me was your wedding'

This is because I met someone from a different country and we got married (and live) there. And it meant she had to get a passport for the first time in her life and travel which she found very stressful.

Oh no handhold to all th terrible things iv read.
Mine was once my Mum was staring at me and she told me id benefit from a nose job.
Made me feel very insecure till this day.

I'd tell the bastard you are very disappointed in him and wish you had better parent and role model. Luckily you are a positive person and will take his shit parenting as a lesson on what not to do as a parent to ensure
Your dc are raised properly and are happy. I'd then tell him I wish his next shit to be a cactus, flick him the v's and go NC.

Sending hugs

“You’ve made your bed now you can lie in it” after my husband (now ex) hit me for the first time. I wanted to come home and they said no. Took me another 7 years to leave the bastard. I’ve never forgiven them.

@Smarshian

My mum told me everyone in our family would think it was my fault that my grandfather died. He killed himself after it came out he had been sexually abusing me for 14 years.

That is terrible. Having to go through abuse and then being abused some more.

"Your not a patch on your Sister" lol. Still makes me chuckle to this day. Was definitely more a statement about my father than me 🤨

I wish we had never adopted you.
Girls are bitches boys are so much better. (I'm adopted so go figure)
Why can't you be pretty like (insert name)
I wish (insert name) was our daughter she is so pretty
Fat useless idiot
You disgust me

Honestly the list goes on.

Hmm, there's:

I wish I'd never had you.
You're a pissing nuisance.
You're a slut (because I once didnt iron a pillow case).
I love you but I don't like you.
You're not getting any younger (I was 19)
Youre fat.
Youre too thin.
You've got massive thighs.
I don't want you to be my friend, I've got my own friend.

When I tried to move out aged 16, to get away from her, she told me I'd end up as a prostitute. It frightened me so much I didn't move out.

It goes on.... I don't like her very much!!

Oh op that is melodramatic to put it diplomatically and rather cruel.

I love DM dearly but she is definitely borderline at times. She said a few nasty things when I was a young woman during their divorce.

@formerbabe

My mother died when I was a child...My parents marriage wasn't always happy and my father used to scream at me if I cried over losing her.

Bloody hell I cannot imagine how it must have felt as a child having to repress all that raw emotion because your father didn't want to see tears

I’m so sorry to hear of all the people not supported after disclosing abuse. That’s just unfathomable. You’re clearly strong and amazing people doing better without that kind of toxicity in your lives.

My dad, upon overhearing me telling my mum about being raped: entered the room laughing, saying ‘you went home with him, what did you expect?’ There are more gems from him. We were NC for a year but back in touch for practical reasons, I hope to reduce contact dramatically when circumstances allow. I’ll forever wish my mum had divorced him years ago.

I'm so sorry to others on this thread. Words can really hurt.

Wow, thank you everyone for your replies and sending huge hugs, there's some absolute tw*ts out there. We are not alone

@LowlandLucky He didn't need to be so nasty about it though. Me and DD have only seen my parents one afternoon a week for the last 3 months and I find it sad that he doesn't want to see his daughter or granddaughter in his twilight years, and that's what he seemed appropriate to say to me.

@Ninninannanoonoo Horrific for you, poor thing.

@Lullaby88 I've had that one too. Dickheads.

@clpsmum I definitely should have said this.

@AttilaTheMeerkat

I remember you replying on my previous posts. Thank you very much, that means a lot. I hope one day I can be free of them and that it won't bring me down forever