See he had ED for many years and that to him was the catalyst for leaving. It drove us apart to the point where I’d reach for him just to be held and he’d literally and figuratively turn his back on me. The trial separation was to get us both apart from this thing that was destroying our marriage and have space.
But it wasn’t was it. I thought he was alone all those months and only he wasn’t.
He had had all forms of treatment available and eventually was accepted onto the list to have a penile implant which are rare on the NHS. To both our great shock he was called for this on 7th December. He had to be at the hospital very early as he was first on the list. I suggested he stay with us the night before and I take him in and that he came home to convalesce, of course he refused me, saying a good neighbour would deal with that and he’d just go the flat and manage there. Except he didn’t have to manage. She was there making his meals, checking he was comfy. And in bed with him. All along he was looking forward to the time he was shown how to use the implant so we could have sex. All the time, all of it, was all about when could have sex again and get back to the brilliant sex life we once had. He said I so
But now, of course, he will use it with her. I waited years and thought my prayers were going to be answered towards the end of this month.
The thought of him kissing and touching her, then being inside her, when I waited patiently when many other woman I dare say would’ve left him, it’s another thing knifing me in the back. Even the few days he was back he was promising me every day that he had the surgery for us, and for us to get back what we had.
The thought of her and him celebrating that is just another twist of the knife, if that’s even possible. Something so incredibly intimate and for us as a couple and that’s gone to her too
Why. Just why