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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Can someone just hold my hand? Just for a bit

968 replies

MoreLegsThanMe · 11/01/2021 01:58

My husband of 36 years has left. I don’t know how to get through tonight. Can someone just hold my hand, please?

OP posts:
Erin36 · 13/01/2021 11:21

Also not always

MrsWindass · 13/01/2021 11:39

@MoreLegsThanMe suggest you read some of this site www.runawayhusbands.com/blog-posts/template-runaway-husbands

I found her book very helpful .

billybagpuss · 13/01/2021 12:21

@MoreLegsThanMe

I do know how self-indulgent this all sounds I really do so I’ll stop now.
Seriously you are allowed some self indulgence.

What are the kids doing today? Have you been outside the house this week. Baby steps but how about taking a short walk, there are plenty of early signs of spring around.

Sunshineandflipflops · 13/01/2021 12:56

Hi op, I'm another one this happened to and i really understand how you are feeling right now as I was there myself.

My husband (married 13 years, together 20, 2 children) had an affair with a younger woman from work. The difference is that I found out and asked him to leave. Not because I didn't love him, far from it, but because I was not going to compete or beg for someone to love me.

He stayed with her, mostly because he had no-one else left (most of his friends were our mutual friends and they wanted nothing to do with him) and they split up less than 2 years later. I on't know the full extent as to why but from what i heard, she didn't like the amount of time he spent with his children, her being 27 to his 40 and child-free.

By this point I had met my now partner. He is now with someone else who seems much nicer and has children of her own and we get on pretty well. It took a lot of work on my part to get here but I put all my efforts into our children and making sure they were as ok as they could be. It's a massive cliche and not really helpful now, I know, but time does heal. I still feel desperately sad that our marriage ended, especially the way it did...it didn't have to be that way...but I am in a different place to 3 years ago.

If i'm honest, I think he regrets what he did and where he has ended up. That makes me sad but I will never be someone's second best or fallback. I deserve more than that and so you do. Once you realise that you will find the strength you need.

fresh · 13/01/2021 18:33

@MoreLegsThanMe can I just say I was in the same boat a couple of years ago. And can I also say that the Runaway Husbands book got me through the worst bits. Please order it or read the website, it really does help.

I'm so sorry you were married to such a loser who didn't appreciate you. It's almost inconceivable when you've been with someone for so long that they can behave like such utter fuckwits. We used to laugh about blokes in our circle who did this....and then...

They're all terrified their dicks are going to fall off so they have to prove they still work. It's a form of madness. And they lose everything. You, however, will gain so much, I promise. Hang in there. Flowers

Onthedunes · 13/01/2021 19:12

Hi op, my hand hold time.

Has he been in touch yet with any of you?

I think you are turning your anger inwards on yourself as you cannot vent your anger out on him, this is making you more depressed.
You need to release the anger.

Believe me, you are not alone or the first person to think they cannot cope. Please don't be hard on yourself, one minute at a time remember.

My friend was so distraught she couldn't stop vomiting constantly but she got through it.

You will get through it, you don't believe that, but you will.
Your children need you and want you, which is more than can be said of him.

Soon enough the pain of him leaving his children and them disowning him is going to create the biggest pity party from him.
Wait for it.

You are a remarkable lady, much more remarkable than that nutter ow who sounds like she has abandoned her kids for a man.
They are beneath you and don't deserve yours tears.

They are scum.

xx

MoreLegsThanMe · 13/01/2021 19:23

Thank you. Just a quick one as I’ll come back later.

@Onthedunes he actually messaged the DC earlier.

I have a prescription from the GP now.

I’ll update shortly

OP posts:
MoreLegsThanMe · 13/01/2021 19:29

Thing is, his dick didn’t work

OP posts:
Itstimetoquit · 13/01/2021 19:42

I'm sorry your in this situation,he sounds awful,I think he will come running back given time,stay strong and take 1 day at a time x

billybagpuss · 13/01/2021 21:19

Did the dc answer?

MoreLegsThanMe · 13/01/2021 22:28

DD3 read part of his message. She’s apparently ‘not to cut off her nose to spite her face’ regarding using his car. She can use it whenever she likes as long as he knows when to bring it up. DD4 just snorted when I asked what hers said. DS hasn’t even read it. He later told me he’d messaged them to say he’d never stop “thinking about them, caring for them and loving them”.

OP posts:
MoreLegsThanMe · 13/01/2021 22:29

He didn’t message DD1 or DD2. It’ll be because he was scared of what he might get back.

OP posts:
Walkacrossthesand · 13/01/2021 22:33

My exH (who left me for another woman when we had 3 small children - this is 25 years ago now) wanted to 'draw a line' under the marriage, and continue forward as if it had never happened, as if our 3 children had sprung fully formed out of the ground. My children were too small for independent thought at the time, but I suspect he would be behaving as yours is, if they had been older - expecting to pick up with them as if him living with another woman now, was a minor detail 🙄

DocMarteens · 13/01/2021 22:40

You will win the long game here. Whatever that means to win ofc. You will restructure your life and have joy in your future.

It's tough to grieve the loss of a partner in your life. It takes time to adjust and mornings are the worst.

You have to look after yourself now because the kids need you. He's deluded and so self absorbed.

On behalf of your family and friends - how dare he do this to you.

MoreLegsThanMe · 13/01/2021 22:45

Oh @Walkacrossthesand that really resonates - the minor detail. I imagine that’s exactly what he’s thinking right now

OP posts:
MoreLegsThanMe · 13/01/2021 22:49

I got a prescription today. My GP was so kind I nearly broke down. He called me “love” at the end of the call and it about finished me off. I genuinely felt he was being kind and not just going through the motions.

He sent it straight to the chemist and I picked it up an hour later. I had to force myself to concentrate on the journey - makes me realise that really I probably shouldn’t be driving yet 😢

OP posts:
WouldBeGood · 13/01/2021 22:54

So glad you’ve got something to help you.

Is your h in the law too? I just ask as mine was, and I think that hardened him to dealing with splits so that he thought of it as commonplace.

Onthedunes · 13/01/2021 23:01

Hi op, yes reach out to others in RL, people will help.
Maybe search for councillors to go to when you are feeling a little stronger.

I hope you sleep better tonight.
xx

MoreLegsThanMe · 13/01/2021 23:19

No no my H has no connection to law. He knows I know what I’m talking about though. I think he knows where he stands. The older DC have been discussing his messages between themselves and the consensus is that they think he reckons he’s apologised and put the ball back into their court to make a move towards talking/messaging/contact/whatever.

I’m so proud of them all that they’re so mature and have dealt with this so well thus far. I’m going to take all the credit for that. I’ve kept them happy.

OP posts:
MoreLegsThanMe · 13/01/2021 23:29

I felt like I made it through the day but the night has come around again hasn’t it. And I hate it.

OP posts:
Twobigsapphires · 13/01/2021 23:35

Oh op, you will get through this, I promise you. Please focus on your dc to get you through the darkness. You already sound strong, but you will get stronger and find a new version of you and a new life.

Mysa74 · 13/01/2021 23:41

Oh Op I've just read your thread, I'm so sorry he did this to you. You've mad it through the day, yes. And you'll make it through the night as well. Hang on to the thought that every minute that passes brings you closer to the day when you will feel whole again. You sound like a wonderful woman and mother who has raised some lovely childreñ. Take care of yourself, you deserve better xx

MaryBeery · 13/01/2021 23:50

But you made it through the day. You didn't think you'd be able to do that yesterday. And not only did you make it through the day, but you talked about your situation to someone from outside the family, and then you went out and picked up your prescription. You are doing so well, be proud of yourself.
And now as we get to the part of the day that you find hardest, it's time to find your mental "happy place" and spend a bit of time relaxing there while the sleeping tablets kick in. Maybe it's the pleasure in having raised mature responsible adults that you can be proud of, or all those funny silly unique moments that living with teenagers can bring, or the adorable cuteness of your grandkids. And the best thing is, all of those things will still be there for you in the morning when you wake up, hopefully having slept well.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 13/01/2021 23:59

@MoreLegsThanMe I've just read this thread and it is heart breaking and so infuriating. I'm so sorry. So sorry. What a bastard.

You will get through this. You will. Just be kind to yourself and take one day at a time. Maybe even one hour at a time. Don't expect anything more right now. Eat, breathe, sleep (take the pills) and breathe some more. That's all.

There is always someone here, if you wobble. You have a lot of great support on this thread.

MrsCatE · 14/01/2021 00:14

@MoreLegsThanMe, @BunnyBoilerRhian and others that posted with similar stories to PP, MoreLegs. Shit. Unbelievable how these wankers try to 'justify' their awful behaviour. I know you're well versed re law but more hugs etc. Flowers

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