DP gone home to play Xbox

[coldtapisbroken]

My partner doesn't live with me but spends a fair amount of time here. He's been playing Xbox with my DS8 today (2 TV's in the house). His DS10 joined online at one point and they all played together. After dinner my DS8 asked to go back on and I said no not tonight, he needed a bath etc. DP then said could he go back on (he was using the console in the living room), I said I'd rather he didn't as I'd like to relax and watch TV after cooking a roast dinner, and wind down before bed (he was staying over). DP then said that he wanted to play with his DS online again as he hadn't played with him for long. I said I'd like to watch TV. He said ok, I'll go home and play online with DS there. He picked up his stuff and left straight away. We've had a lovely day together, I made a huge roast dinner, and because I wanted to watch TV instead of watch him play Xbox he's gone home. This may sound like a ridiculous situation but I just want to see if other people think this is normal behaviour? Thanks x

Xbox is not the problem. Spending time playing with his DS is not the problem. Leaving in a huff and sulking is the problem. Life is too short to let yourself be treated like this.

@yogamatted

Xbox is not the problem. Spending time playing with his DS is not the problem. Leaving in a huff and sulking is the problem. Life is too short to let yourself be treated like this.

Ah this is exactly what I was going to say.

Sounds like he wanted to play more with his son. I personally wouldn't have minded him playing but I do understand why you got upset.
Probably he misses his son. Separation can be very cruel.

Well he's had a lovely day, getting his nice roast dinner made for him without lifting a finger. He's probably too busy shooting baddies to reply to your message.

You have a son and a daughter already, you don't need this manchild.

In what way is he a partner? Your description of his day makes him sound like your child, not your partner at all. The sulking is the icing on the cake. Yuck.

I don’t really think he did anything wrong , it’s hard when you don’t live together because your home
Isn’t his number 1 chill out zone, he’s got the option to leave and go his place because the relationship Hasn’t been taken to that next level yet, plus it’s his son he’s playing with which I think is nice , I get it’s boring for you but you was only going to sit watching tv anyway

OP,

He sounds awful.

You had every right to sit down and finally relax in front of YOUR TV.

Unfortunately it reads as if you have a very low relationship bar and he sounds like a spoilt stroppy child.

Exactly how many children do you want?

@billy1966 Spoilt stroppy child is about right - he's still not talking to me!

“Xbox is not the problem. Spending time playing with his DS is not the problem. Leaving in a huff and sulking is the problem. Life is too short to let yourself be treated like this.”

This with bells on.

@coldtapisbroken is there any reason to maintain the relationship? It’s not obvious to me that there is.

He's still sulking? Why are you still bothering?

You can't dictate how he spends his time

Even if you think you've already done A today - doesn't mean you can choose he doesn't do S some more

(Chosen A as it really doesn't matter what the activity is)

He can't dictate how you spend your time

The problem is not the activity, the problem is lack of desire to do things together (sometimes not all the time), communication and consideration. You need to address these, not moan about his gaming. Gaming is simply his focus.

(As much as work became my focus in a similar fashion)

A some more - sorry

What exactly do you get out of this relationship?

Still sulking...

What a complete manchild.

Playing with his son good bonding experience, don't blame him.

He’s not talking to you because he’s waiting for you to crumble and toe the line - pathetic

If someone tried interfering with my time spent with my son, I'd be doing more than sulking, I'd be re-evaluating my future with them, as should every parent worth their salt.
I certainly wouldn't be kissing them on the way out

@baileys6904 I think you may have misunderstood my post

I think the trash took itself out OP
Let him sulk
Don't get in touch, wait for him to
He needs to think about what you get from this relationship as well as what he wants

Hmmm I don't know. I mean, he entertained your child for hours. A roast dinner doesn't take hours to make, an hour max. So you've had time to yourself. And if you watch Netflix, BBC iPlayer etc this can all be watched on a phone or iPad.

However... Him storming off was immature and unkind. And he should have compromised on watching TV as he had played plenty of Xbox and had time playing with his son already.

My partner's a gamer. He plays most nights while I either watch TV on my phone or do my hobbies. But we've been together 14 years so we've settle into a routine that works for us.

If after 2 years my partner had been storming off in sulks then I'd re-evaluate before things get any more serious.

I hope you’re not texting him?!! You need to go cold turkey with this bad mannered chump. He’s rude and lazy. If he wanted to play Xbox with his kid he should have stayed home. He wants a mother not a girlfriend. Come on OP, you can do better than this

I would be sending anything he left behind right after him...

You really don't need a stroppy teenager op.

@classiestgal I text him a couple of times yesterday which is how I know he's still having a strop (silence!). I've not text him since!

Don't you bloody dare go crawling to him!! Or you might as well have Welcome tattooed on your forehead...

We teach people how to treat us OP.

If this is what you want for your future, fair enough, continue running after a stroppy child.

Don't be surprised if you bitterly regret your choices in the future.