In regards to the porn and death grip mentioned earlier consider this....
A man is watching porn, he is turned on by the sex displayed, so sex is the turn on - the ultimate goal.
That same man getting turned on by sex via the porn he is watching develops death grip over time.
The point at which this same man comes to have sex with a woman, he has been visually and physically desensitised to the actual act of sex, the same sex that he holds as the pinnacle...the very thing he has been viewing, the thing that turns him on to watch, yet the actual reality of the act is disappointing to do because again he has desensitised himself.
This has got to be incredibly frustrating, and then who does this man blame:
The porn - nah he gets far too much enjoyment from that to point the finger there.
Himself - no that would be soul destroying, he’s a Man, and his junk works just fine and he can get himself off just fine.
So who ends up getting the blame - the woman....
Your not tight enough, your too prudish, you don’t dress up, you don’t give me enough oral, you need to loose weight, and whatever else he can come up to point the finger in any direction other than at himself.
Sex can be great on a purely physical level, but sex is so much better when it’s on a mental and emotional level as well. Sadly many men get stuck in just the physical element, and porn has a lot to do with this.
As a woman I can’t say what a porn addiction is like, and I can’t say that if I was addicted to it or watched a lot of it, it would alter that way I viewed or thought about the opposite sex.
What I can imagine though is that if porn is the very thing that provides you a fix, but also the very thing that prevents you from having healthy sexual relationships as being incredibly frustrating.
I also think if women en mass dumped all useless, disrespectful lazy men and ALL women refused to put up with such crap behaviour, I imagine there would be a plethora of sad lonely single men living alone with their porn, games consoles, and a few beers in the fridge. It’s so ingrained I don’t think there is any tonic sufficient enough to make these types wake up.
It’s not all men no, but there is a significant proportion who want to watch loads of porn, play endless hours of fifa/call of duty etc, have their vices turned a blind eye too, do less than their share of household/childcare responsibilities yet still want a partner!! They then also expect that partner to respect them, to want sex with them, and contribute equally to the finances. Do you know what, it’s not uncommon for a man to find this either.
For a woman who wants a man who is committed to her, who will share household and childcare responsibilities equally, who will respect and support her, is like finding a golden unicorn. Undoubtedly these men exist, but they are seemingly the exception not the rule.
It saddens me deeply to say this, I have DD’s and I worry for their futures and relationships. I am doing all I can to ensure they have strong healthy boundaries, know what red flags to look out for, and to make sure they know their worth.