BRAVE BABES - the bus keeps trundling on...

[venusandmars]

We filled up the last thread, but never fear, we're always here!

Whatever your issue with drinking, whether you just want some encouragement with dry January or whether you've reached your rock bottom and need to quit. Everyone is welcome. You'll find support, encouragement, help. You'll find lots of understanding folks, who won't minimise your problem but who will never judge you. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from almost 11 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

JG1985 so nice to hear that you struggle too, well it’s not, but you kno what I mean.
You are right, it’s BORING.think a lot of it is stress related, but then it’s also ‘thank goodness I’m not so stressed’ and also ‘ if I drink enough I’ll be back to being single, before kids, with a lot of mates in the pub, and not cooking yet another bloody meal’
Tonight’s ‘ glass while I cook’ ( ha ha ha) became a bottle. And a beer. And resenting kids being in the kitchen cos it stopped me drinking. Wtf? How is the even a logical thought? How do we stop?

Hurrah! A third of a bottle of beer!
Writing to remind myself it makes me feel bloated and tired immediately.
Good luck all.

Woop woop! No alcohol tonight!!!
Hope no one minds if I post this..I think the fear of going public is very helpful! Good luck anyone reading this.

@WhyMrsRobinson well done. I’m sure nobody minds at all (I don’t). You should be proud of yourself 😘 xxx

Thank you! I kept busy - and drinking a LOT of tea. ( and eating) Here’s hoping for tomorrow.
How are you doing?

*The first few days are crap. No other word for it, you feel lethargic, achy, low, and drink is calling you constantly.
What helped me was accepting that I'm not battling the booze any more, I'm not going to fight the witch anymore. She's won - game, set and championship. So I've walked away, conceded defeat, left the arena. That means, I've accepted that I can't drink moderately, I can't have just one, so rather than carry on drinking myself to a slow, painful death, I'll just stop all together, and get off the boozy horrible merry go round that is moderating, switching to drinks I don't like, having so many days off. *
Thanks SophieB100 this is inspiring.

Five days!

Nope. Blew it while cooking. Dh opens wine then is on phone for an age, leaving wine and me alone together sorting out the dishwasher and cooking yet again.
Now awake, feeling bloated and yucky.
I was feeling so lively and well too.
Bugger.

Day 1 ( again) yayyyyyyy! Well done me!

Hard to find the bus - took me a while. it was my lifeline for many years, transporting me and good friends on the bumpy road to sobriety.
Is the Sidecar of Shame still attached? Does Faire still cling to Roger, the roof rack of regulation? Do we still have assorted dogs, and a camel, and Horrid Baby Doll?
I still have my triangle and green opal fruits. happy days

Hi Ma how are you doing? I'm on holiday so in the sidecar. Any red opal fruits going spare please chuck my way.
Same old, same old here. You know the cycle - try, succeed for a while, fail, give up trying and back to the beginning. One day it might stick.

Hello, hope no one minds me posting. Have lurked for a while but thought I'd add something. Very heavy drinker for ages, sobriety started going right for me in September 2019. Since then, I have had 38 "slips" (that is, I have had a drink on 38 occasion since 20 Sept 2019) and have just celebrated 6 months since my last slip. This is it now - I know I will never drink again and the relief is overwhelming.

I didn't have a clue how to quit until I read Claire Pooley's Sober Diaries. She introduced the idea of needing tools to work sobriety. I thought I would share the various tools that I have used in case it helps anyone.

• Quit lit. Constantly reading quit lit was necessary at the start. Sober Diaries was a perfect start for me as it basically told my story

• Podcasts - I listen to sobriety podcasts almost daily still. My favourite at the moment is Over The Influence, but have also listened to Mother Recovering, Home, Soberful, The Bubble Hour, and there are loads of others out there.

• Self Hypnosis - I listened to Overcome Alcohol Addiction (Barrie St John) at bedtime almost daily for about 3 months. There are others out there too I think

• Exercise - I get outdoors for a walk as much as I can

• Fitbit - I got one of these to motivate me re general fitness and health

• I Am Sober app - this tracks your sober days, as well as the money you save and the time you save

• Instagram - I set up an anonymous (for now) Inst account and follow pretty much every sober account there is. It's very inspiring to be surrounded by others in the same boat.

I think that's about it for me, but there are tools that others use such as meditation etc that may also work for you.

I was such a heavy drinker and I honestly never thought I could give up. Sober life is both amazing and it feels like a miracle. If the willingness is there, sobriety will happen, it is just a matter of time and tools.

Good luck everyone, I know how you all feel and I am right behind you.

Well done Allium

Thanks for your inspirational post Allium16. Some great suggestions for sobriety tools. I use/have used many myself including quit lit, hypnosis and a sober app. It all helps. The anonymous insta account is a great idea and will give it a try

Miflaw here - did I miss anything?

Pleased to say that my absence was purely from MN, not from sobriety - still sober one day at a time and happy to be so.

Only changed my name because after 10 years away I’ve forgotten my old login details!

Oh my word MIFLAW I remember you from years back (I've had several name-changes ove the years). Hope you are well. I, sad to say, still haven't achieved permanent sobriety.
I actually came on here this evening to ask if anyone's used hypnotherapy to stop drinking permanently?
It has been recommened to me but is £££

Evening all! Just wondering how everyone is doing? Delighted to find the latest thread. Thought I’d lost you all.

Hello
Please may I join this brilliantly named thread ?
Lots of really helpful stuff on here ,I am going to read through it all at the back of the bus for now.
So relate to lots of what’s been shared .

Have a lovely day all

Happy Christmas to all Babes, old and new (you must be still on MN somewhere?)

Happy Christmas babes 🎄😘

So good to see a Brave Babes thread reappearing. And I can't believe I missed MIFLAW in the autumn!

So another new year approaching. The time for plans and resolutions. Why not start now? Why wait for dry January?

Anyone around who wants to chat or share...

Well hello there @venusandmars and all you lovely lot. It's January and here I am again! Plenty more of the same battles trying to control drinking, and some new ones. Pandemic obv was cause for so so much drinking (????)My relationship with my children is taking a battering now that they are teens and they can see what I do, and seem to be copying me. DS is 17 and drinking not just in a teenage way (obv not good anyway) but at home on his own. And of course trying to deal with it at weekends when I'm drunk is an absolute disaster. So here I go again. But I've got too sort this out, and it's fair to say something HAS to change. Just started listening to The Naked Mind, which seems sensible, and also OYNB. I know a few people who have stopped drinking very happily using this!s

How is everyone else doing?

So nice to find you again! Wee wee woman, empathy!
I gave up giving up once I got too embarrassed to keep admitting I’d gone back to day one again. Which is daft I know.
Realised I was kidding myself - dry august, oct and nov all failed miserably. Somehow I woke up to the fact that I don’t look like some stylish film star in control of my life, I look like a frump, who falls asleep in front of the tv, hasn’t had a haircut in a year, wears tatty clothes and doesn’t have the energy to tidy the home for the teens, and like you, god knows what I’m teaching them. But was shocked at how even teen dd said she couldn’t cope with the messy kitchen, and all those empties after we have been banging on about booze being bad.
I’m on night 2. Feeling a bit wierd, I thought I didn’t want to drink after dinner but now I definitely do, it’s crept up even more, insidious stuff.
I am pasting this off Sophie B because I still find it super inspiring. If I tell the wine witch to jog on, it’s somehow very empowering, I’m no longer using will power and being dragged down and exhausted. I’m, ok, it’s crap and it will get better. See if it helps!

The first few days are crap. No other word for it, you feel lethargic, achy, low, and drink is calling you constantly.
What helped me was accepting that I'm not battling the booze any more, I'm not going to fight the witch anymore. She's won - game, set and championship. So I've walked away, conceded defeat, left the arena. That means, I've accepted that I can't drink moderately, I can't have just one, so rather than carry on drinking myself to a slow, painful death, I'll just stop all together, and get off the boozy horrible merry go round that is moderating, switching to drinks I don't like, having so many days off. *
Thanks SophieB100 this is inspiring

Hello, babes! Thought I’d lost you all. What another bugger of a year 2021 was in many ways! Pandemic has done so much damage to people’s mental health. Let’s hope we’re almost there now 🤞🏻