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Original poster

How do I get my partner to shower

127 replies

nokia3210567 · 08/01/2021 19:40

Hi All

Met my partner years ago and at that time he showered and brushed his teeth regularly.

We have had a baby so had a tough 18 months for both of us. There were weeks I would only shower a couple times a week. But baby is 18 months now and even though I am battling severe depression I make myself shower every day.

I'm lucky if my partner showers once a week and he hardly beushes his teeth either. Other than that he is absolutely amazing and happy, and cheery, his usual self in all other ways.

I ask him/suggest he has showers when its been a few days and I have pointed put in a kind way when it has been two weeks since he has showered but he just shrugs it off.

What can I do 😫

Just now I had a bath and I have come downstairs and I walked into the living-room and all I could smell was him. I do have a sensitive sense of smell but just still. I love him so much and I don't want to be unkind.

OP posts:
Luckyelephant1 · 08/01/2021 22:03

Why do people pussyfoot around their partners so much and not say it like it is? Tell him he's fucking rank and disgusting and don't let him into bed with you until he showers and brushes. I'm almost heaving just thinking about how he must smell. BTW your bed will be rank and full of germs too.

It's beyond me how anyone can not brush their teeth in the morning, on the very odd occasion like if I've stayed somewhere and forgotten my toothbrush I still 'finger brush' with toothpaste on my finger but still feel disgusting all day.

Whiskysoda · 08/01/2021 22:04

I think you need to be cruel to be kind. Tell him he stinks. It’s nasty and you don’t want to sleep with him until he showers!

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 08/01/2021 22:06

Being in an enclosed shower with him stinking, or sitting in a bath of his filthy water. With him breathing his stinky breath onto you. That doesn’t sound fun or sensual to me

Seriously! there is nothing "sensual" about someone with BO and poo breath. hork. Its gross, he is a grown adult who needs to learn that if he doesnt tend to his personal hygiene then he doesnt get close contact with people.

Mamascoven · 08/01/2021 22:10

Oh wow 🤢 Honestly if my other half did this I would kick him out. Bums need washing every day. We poo out of them. Yuck!!!!

Folklore9074 · 08/01/2021 22:17

Two weeks?! I think you need to be blunt here.

Kittykat93 · 08/01/2021 22:40

Cant believe some people suggesting bribe him with sex, make it sensual, tell him it's a turn on etc. We are talking about basic fucking hygiene here...brushing teeth and washing should be standard surely ??? Gross

billy1966 · 08/01/2021 22:42

Diplomacy is NOT your friend.
That truly is both disgusting and disrespectful.

A couple of days at a push but this is dreadful.
He needs to move to the spare room.
He must be stinking the house.

I had a teen that I really had to spell it out to, after 3 days, regularly...."you are stinking out the house"🤣

He was sheepish and eventually got it.🙏

schmockdown · 08/01/2021 22:44

Tell him he stinks and he fixes it or leaves. 🤢

carreterra · 08/01/2021 22:52

@FrankButchersDickieBow

OUCH !!! That's direct, but as previous posters have noted, you have to be cruel to be kind.
Do you cuddle him in bed, OP? I bet you have to wash the bedding every day.

carreterra · 08/01/2021 23:00

P.S. To those suggesting that the OP should have a bath or a shower with her partner, can you imagine climbing into a bath tub and your nose gets the full force of that smell?

Crimeismymiddlename · 08/01/2021 23:03

You need to tell him straight, that’s disgusting. How can you share a bed with a man who has not washed for two weeks and hardly brushes his teeth? Can you even bring your self to shag him? How awful that your home now smells of his bo yuk yuk yuk

DameDoom · 08/01/2021 23:36

🤢🤢🤢 Urghhh! I can only imagine the minging miasma emanating from his rancid, cardboard-stiff crotch, shining with ancient piss droplets; the proliferation of poo crumbs and stinking skid marks making his arse itch like mad - I bet he enjoys a good back passage scratch; the yellow slurry - probably almost bread spreadable - of his funky, furry gob and the gross, greasy, dandruffy reek of his head.

Can.Not.Deal.

DameDoom · 08/01/2021 23:38

And... the smegma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iggly · 08/01/2021 23:38

Does he want to have sex ever again? Spell it out to him.

ghostmous3 · 09/01/2021 09:55

Oh my days that's grim.

2 weeks!

My dp gets a bit whiffy after a day or 2 of not showering. Hes normally pretty good but occasionally misses a day as I do.

He doesnt have a sense of smell (never has) so doesnt take offence when I tell him he needs a shower and I dont beat about the Bush..you honk..get in that shower

2 weeks. I cant get over that. Is he ok in himself? Not depressed?

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 09/01/2021 10:01

@DameDoom

🤢🤢🤢 Urghhh! I can only imagine the minging miasma emanating from his rancid, cardboard-stiff crotch, shining with ancient piss droplets; the proliferation of poo crumbs and stinking skid marks making his arse itch like mad - I bet he enjoys a good back passage scratch; the yellow slurry - probably almost bread spreadable - of his funky, furry gob and the gross, greasy, dandruffy reek of his head.

Can.Not.Deal.

Thanks for this.

I'm trying to lose weight so every time I am hungry Imma read this and it will put me off

😃

Dery · 09/01/2021 10:15

As PP have said: don’t beat around the bush - just tell him he needs to clean up because he smells and you are repulsed. He’s also setting a very bad example to your DCs.

Seasaltyhair · 09/01/2021 10:16

@nokia3210567

Hi All

Met my partner years ago and at that time he showered and brushed his teeth regularly.

We have had a baby so had a tough 18 months for both of us. There were weeks I would only shower a couple times a week. But baby is 18 months now and even though I am battling severe depression I make myself shower every day.

I'm lucky if my partner showers once a week and he hardly beushes his teeth either. Other than that he is absolutely amazing and happy, and cheery, his usual self in all other ways.

I ask him/suggest he has showers when its been a few days and I have pointed put in a kind way when it has been two weeks since he has showered but he just shrugs it off.

What can I do 😫

Just now I had a bath and I have come downstairs and I walked into the living-room and all I could smell was him. I do have a sensitive sense of smell but just still. I love him so much and I don't want to be unkind.

You leave him. Seriously he is taking the piss and he doesn’t care if you find him attractive or not.
user1471538283 · 09/01/2021 11:23

Keeping clean is a life skill. When your LO is older how can you insist they wash if their dad does not? He does know he smells he just doesn't care. I would tell him he either showers or he gets used to the idea of being a single dad

HarrietPotterska · 09/01/2021 17:00

Are you having sex?!

Redburnett · 09/01/2021 17:04

Refuse sex and/or sleep in another room. Tell him it is because he stinks.

MrsGrindah · 09/01/2021 17:08

@thosetalesofunexpected Please tell me you are joking? Those comments should have ended with “ and then tell him you’ll love him long time”!

pocushocus · 09/01/2021 17:36

@FrankButchersDickieBow

Tell the smelly cunt to brush his yellow teeth and scrub his bollocks.

🤣🤣

😂😂😂
itchyfinger · 09/01/2021 17:55

Why do you worry about telling him in a kind manner? Why not just say "dude, you stick. Have a shower every day like normal people. Oh and teeth need a scrub twice a day."

MelJan · 26/04/2024 23:05

My partner wont wash. It's been 2 weeks & he's worn the same t shirt for the 2 weeks. I asked him to shower and he says I'm just a nag. I have stage 4 cancer so surely he should be more considerate and wash. He's gone up to a month without washing before which I find gross