How do I get my partner to shower

[nokia3210567]

Hi All

Met my partner years ago and at that time he showered and brushed his teeth regularly.

We have had a baby so had a tough 18 months for both of us. There were weeks I would only shower a couple times a week. But baby is 18 months now and even though I am battling severe depression I make myself shower every day.

I'm lucky if my partner showers once a week and he hardly beushes his teeth either. Other than that he is absolutely amazing and happy, and cheery, his usual self in all other ways.

I ask him/suggest he has showers when its been a few days and I have pointed put in a kind way when it has been two weeks since he has showered but he just shrugs it off.

What can I do 😫

Just now I had a bath and I have come downstairs and I walked into the living-room and all I could smell was him. I do have a sensitive sense of smell but just still. I love him so much and I don't want to be unkind.

@thosetalesofunexpected

Hi Op Have a fun/sensual bath or shower As a speacial couple time together. And then give each other a sensual massages often too. Your husband hygiene issues will be a thing of the past then,believe me. 😂😂😁

Being in an enclosed shower with him stinking, or sitting in a bath of his filthy water. With him breathing his stinky breath onto you. That doesn’t sound fun or sensual to me.

When he’s let it go so far, his cleaning regime needs to be on his own until he’s not disgusting. Then there’s the potential for joint baths/showers etc

@thosetalesofunexpected

Hi Op Have a fun/sensual bath or shower As a speacial couple time together. And then give each other a sensual massages often too. Your husband hygiene issues will be a thing of the past then,believe me. 😂😂😁

I certainly would NOT want to be in the same bath as someone who hadn't bathed or showered for a long time

Next time he's near you loudly ask 'OH MY GOD WHATS THAT SMELL??'

Hi Op
I think too he may be a bit/partly depressed your Partner .
And also got into a lazy habit of not washing often enough.

You obviously need to have a talk with him ,be assertive but in a matter of fact way.

@KatharinaRosalie

2 weeks is grim and his mouth must be stinking to high heaven too. Stop hinting and tell him that you can smell him from other end of the room and working from home does not mean we need to relax basic hygiene standards.

I’m howling!!

I have a similar problem and what it usually works is to tell him straight _ you should take a shower today...
Other tip that works 100% of the times is new bedsheets. There is no way I will let him sleep in fresh bedding without a shower first.

Slowly he started to keep himself clean much often after feeling embarrassed a couple of times...
Good luck

I don't like getting wet

I have never met anyone who doesn't like getting wet. That is very unusual.

What is it that you dislike about getting wet?

My old boss didn’t brush his teeth. Admitted it too. The whole room would stink.

Do you share a bed OP?

I couldn’t.
physically run the bath for him you need to have a word and come back with the update!

@Scaredykittycat what was the reason?

You have to be blunt. At some point post Covid your DH will no doubt be taking your DC out places and I can imagine the reaction if your DH stinks.

You don't to be subtle. Just tell him that he is minging. It's disgusting behaviour.

The not showering is one thing but the teeth! He will loose them if he doesn't clean them twice a day, what is he thinking??????

Tell him his body smells and his breath and that is not acceptable. How can you care for him when he won't care for himself?

@Chel098 I don’t actually know. Laziness I think. He ended up needing the dentist who referred him to the hygienist. Lots of work and money later, and he clung to the fact they told him the evening brushing was more important than the morning. Soon slipped back into old habits and could empty the room.

His poor poor wife 🤯

Do you actually have sex with him OP? I can't imagine wanting to have sex if my DH (or I) hadn't showered. Doesn't that encourage him to be clean?

@Scaredykittycat
"That's sounds pretty Grim rank".

Christ, my DH stinks if he hasn't showered for one day. Two weeks????

Reward chart.

I speak from experience.

@Scaredykittycat
How on earth did you cope with a boss like that.!

Buy him some nice smellies

@DressingGownofDoom

Next time he's near you loudly ask 'OH MY GOD WHATS THAT SMELL??'

It doesn't sound as though he'd have to be nearby to smell him - not envy!

I definitely would not be pandering to this dirty, disgusting git. Nor would he be getting into bed with me. And perish the thought of sharing a bath - FFS!!!!

Tell him - clean up your act or go and live somewhere more fitting, like the dustbin or shed.

@Thecurtainsofdestiny

God how old is he .!

Reward chart sounds like something a small kid would get .😀😂😀

Was that a unique bespoke Xmas gift idea?

OMG 🤮

Sorry OP but the thought of his unwashed parts and disgusting mouth makes me want to vom! He’s a walking bio-hazard. Don’t Pussyfoot around on this. Get him told. Basic hygiene isn’t negotiable in an intimate relationship. I could not respect anyone who has this level of poor hygiene. I would have to wear a hazmat suit before going anywhere near him. No way would he be allowed in the same bed as me.

The reward chart was the kids' idea

Fuck that. He needs to be told straight, my 12y will sometimes ask to skip a shower during the week - non negotiable at all. Weekends he might skip 1 day.
DH showers everyday thank goodness.

The stinking must be awful, sharing a bed, intimacy and even touching would be awful. We've had a few stinkers at work over the years, but my god, one was god awful. She smelled rotten and never changed clothes.
I had to sit next the her one day and couldn't move to another desk, not something I ever want to repeat

I could not live like this!!!