I think there’s another phone

[Dissillusioned]

I may be paranoid but a couple of things lately have me thinking dp may have a secret phone.
I’ve looked but can’t find one, so I could be totally wrong but my gut is telling me to keep looking.
What I’m asking is, those that have found a secret phone, where was it hidden? I’m hoping there’s places I haven’t thought to look. I’m also hoping I’m wrong and just paranoid as I do have form for overthinking things, but I’m watching dp like a hawk right now.

Have you tried to airdrop something (but not actually send something) when you go to do it it shows up all nearby devices that you could send to

Under the table of the office held on by a magnet

My Ex had a desk which had a basket underneath to hold extension lead and plugs. He hid stuff in there. I’d lay money on it being in the office. Are there any loose skirting boards? Loose pieces of carpet on the stairs, the bit that is at the back. Easy to slide a phone in there. Good luck

Sadly for him, I am obsessionally tidy and found it.

Also do you have a tv on the wall, if so look behind it.

My friend knew her husband went up to bed early so she hid phone in bedroom filming. She found his hiding place after watching.

Yes, I think I need to stay calm and just watch and wait. I think he may think something is up as he keeps asking me if I'm ok. I guess I look a bit down :(
I have arranged the iphone charger lead in a certain way in the office so I'll know if its been used.
I've checked every single place the old Phone could/should be and it simply is not there. He is a very organised person and so if I was to ask where the old phone was and he said he didnt know where it was I'm pretty sure he'd be lying as he knows where all his stuff is! But I don't want to do that as it would give him time to erase everything before 'finding' it.
I'm waiting for an opportunity now to go onto find my iphone on his phone and see if he has more than one device. Although he could have taken his apple ID off the old one, would it still work without an apple ID in it?
I've looked literally everywhere! But the fact I haven't come across the old iphone in its big white box is somewhat telling. I am pretty sure he originally put it in the new phones box anyway, which now has no phone in it and I found that very easily. And I'd have thought if there was another box they would have been together.
Since this morning there is another device connected to the router too, but I have dc with all manner of stuff that connects so could be totally innocent. I'm currently screenshotting everything that's connected or has been connected, so I can compare this over the next few weeks.

On a few occasions when I was in the house alone and there were no radio/TV on, I would sometimes hear a phone vibrate. Assumed it was coming from next door. The thing was, DS also heard it from another part of the house away from next door. The only logical explanation was that the vibrations were travelling through the roof space from the loft so I ignored it because I never saw DH go up there.
Then realised that the in-ceiling speaker fittings in the bathroom could be removed...
Trust your gut, OP.

Another one saying trust ur gut, you need a dictaphone. You can set up the times you want it to record hide it in the bathroom. I'm not going to say my story as it's very outing but I did something very similar and I got the evidence I needed. You have to do something op this will drive you mad.

I've tried airdrop and nothing has shown, but I think the phone needs to be open for it to show up. So I will try that again if I sneak after him during one of his night time trips.
I'm just going to try and stay calm and normal as possible.
I have a horrible feeling though. I want to be wrong, but there's so much not adding up now.
He would also know how much this would break me. I suffer from PTSD and that has in turn made my trust issues so much worse as sometimes its an overwhelming sense of paranoia/self preservation. I generally live my life on high alert for anything which might harm me. Its pretty rubbish way to live, but I do have it mostly under control but it is this which is probably the root cause of me questioning anything that does not make sense. But that does not define me and I know that I need to also trust my gut when things are not right. That is not the reason for me being paranoid on this occasion. Something is definitely off.

Keep calm OP, plenty of people to give you a virtual hand hold on here. You've recognised the difference between your general PTSD and the anxiety caused by his odd behaviour so that's good that you know the difference.

Wishing you the best of luck and I hope it turns out to be nothing.
Something is off so bide your time, trust is a funny thing, you have it until you don't.
Keep an eye open but go about your normal day. Try not to let it consume you - yes I know easier said than done.

I used to keep chocolate on the top of the kitchen cupboards - no one else could reach it. Someone's probably already said that.
Or top of bathroom cupboard?
It needs to be somewhere that doesn't make a noise when he is getting it and somewhere that doesn't look odd if he is rummaging in it.

@pintoffginplz

Another one saying trust ur gut, you need a dictaphone. You can set up the times you want it to record hide it in the bathroom. I'm not going to say my story as it's very outing but I did something very similar and I got the evidence I needed. You have to do something op this will drive you mad.

I know I sound like a broken record but... You're suggesting OP breaks the law as spy cameras and audio recording devices are illegal in parts of your own home where anyone else has a "reasonable expectation of privacy." A bathroom is THE prime example. The law is very clear about that and 'e.g a bathroom' is often mentioned when the law is explained.

I understand the obsessive quest for proof - I've been there in the past but either OP is right in which case she needs to end the relationship or she's wrong but in no headspace to be in a relationship and is making herself ill. If she's wrong, how would her husband feel knowing she's been recording him in the bathroom? Would you be ok with your partner doing that because they were suspicious of you?

Handhold!

I think the lady commented on the bathroom as that's where her OH was hiding his phone?

Ah yes dont record in the bathroom.

Yes that why u suggested the bathroom, as it looks like he's taken a phone in there. Didn't know about those laws.

I won’t be recording anything in any bathrooms just to reassure everyone.

And thankyou to everyone who has given suggestions. I’m staying calm and biding my time whilst still looking.

I know people are trying to be empathetic and supportive to OP and I do appreciate how obsessive and anxious suspicions can be but it's so important not to encourage people to break the law. Tracking devices on someone else's car, recording devices and spy cams in places someone can reasonably expect privacy, getting into your partners emails / messages etc - illegal under the computer misuse act. All things encouraged frequently on here.

I don't think people realise someone would be breaking the law doing these things so hopefully flagging this to them will stop them recommending them to OPs who are already struggling.

@Dissillusioned

I won’t be recording anything in any bathrooms just to reassure everyone.

And thankyou to everyone who has given suggestions. I’m staying calm and biding my time whilst still looking.

Sorry you're struggling OP

It’s ok, I’m aware of the law, so won’t be breaking it. Well, if I find a phone I will damn well be opening it or demanding dp does, but apart from that.
He has given me permission to access his normal phone and his pc and he sometimes asks me to send emails for him, so I have access to those because he granted access which means by checking them I’m not breaking any laws.
To be honest though, if I found a phone hidden somewhere I wouldn’t need to access it, it would be game over for him anyway.
I disagree I’m not in the right frame of mind for a relationship. You don’t have to be perfect to be in a relationship. But I should be in a relationship where my partners actions are not making me question his loyalty, that I agree with. But no one should be in a relationship like that.

Whilst I think he's acted suspicious, can I say that checking for Bluetooth devices isn't reliable - everytime I try to pair a device up my next door neighbour's device comes up on the list! I can even tell when the GC are round because their devices pop up too (it's their names 'xxxx kindle' etc) Old Victorian terrace so pretty sturdy brickwalls between us.

I am so sorry about all of this OP. Your head must be so full.
Is there anything else you can go by? Mentioning anyone from work more? Anyone new been added to his social media?

You don’t have to be perfect to be in a relationship. But I should be in a relationship where my partners actions are not making me question his loyalty, that I agree with. But no one should be in a relationship like that.

You're right, you should be, so should he.

If he is having an affair you may find the phone and well that's it.
However if he isn't then you won't. It's not the sort of thing you can prove isn't happening so how long do you keep searching and watching? It sounds as if this is already destroying your relationship, guilty or not it may be time to move on. If he's guilty you know you deserve better, if he isn't then he deserves better.

This phone has already more or less destroyed your marriage whether it exists or not.

Anus?

Sorry if you've covered this but have you been able to access his clothes after he's taken them off for sleep?