I think there’s another phone

[Dissillusioned]

I may be paranoid but a couple of things lately have me thinking dp may have a secret phone.
I’ve looked but can’t find one, so I could be totally wrong but my gut is telling me to keep looking.
What I’m asking is, those that have found a secret phone, where was it hidden? I’m hoping there’s places I haven’t thought to look. I’m also hoping I’m wrong and just paranoid as I do have form for overthinking things, but I’m watching dp like a hawk right now.

[quote Catty1720]@PaigeMatthews am I missing something it just seems op is really searching for a phone it could be there isn’t one[/quote]
She is searching for a phone. You likened that to abuse. Dont belittle what abuse actually is.

@Catty1720
Have you read All of the OP's threads?

No I didn’t I said the behaviour is a little odd she clearly doesn’t trust him set up cameras and spy on him!! I’m not belittling abuse I’m anyway!!!

@MaeveDidIt yes I have

@catty1720
Perhaps read them ALL again.

@MaeveDidIt my goodness what a twit I missed a post sorry if I’ve offended. This is all very odd and other than rolled in a sock or pockethound I wouldn’t know where to start. Sorry OP.

Have you checked shoes that aren’t worn very often, perhaps in his wardrobe?

Seriously op - even needing this full access to his phone is very strange - that’s not normal! You obviously have huge trust issues - booby trapping the doors, desperately trying to catch him out ! It’s all a bit much! This is not a healthy relationship at all

I can see loads of ow up and down the land texting their ap's saying if she goes in the loft tommorow, she's onto us.

Genuinely don’t know what to think

If he does have another phone he probably has a note somewhere of its number. Possibly worth checking the legitimate phone (the one you have access to) to see if he has any information about it on there - under notes, reminders or contacts. It's unlikely I know but my ex stored the number for his 'affair' phone on his normal phone. It was in his contacts - can't remember what he'd named it but it just stood out as being a bit odd. At the time when I discovered it I thought it was the phone number for the OW but subsequently discovered what it really was. I hope you are OK and that your fears are unfounded. My experience was more than 10 years ago but I can vividly recall that creeping sense of horror that you don't really know the person you are living with.

Yes I'm also wondering how you've marked the phone, so that it's distinguishable from the old one, but allows you to see this mark, but he won't realise.

I'd put a sound recorder in the downstairs bathroom and hope he hasn't disabled the keypad sounds.

Or if you REALLY want to know, hide a camera in there. His behaviour warrants it imo.

You really think that there is any behaviour which warrants secretly filming your partner using the bathroom, @ElizaLaLa? It’s like stepping into an alternate universe on MN sometimes, FFS.

I swear half of you here think you’re in a tv drama. So many people feeding the paranoid behaviour of an emotionally vulnerable person for your own amusement. This is someone’s life, not a fucking soap opera.

Just going to put this out there - secretly filming your partner in the bathroom is worse than an affair.

It’s not in the loft. It’s not anywhere in the house I’d expect derelict phone to be. So it unfortunately pointing to the fact he’s using it.
If I ask him if I can use old phone I think he’ll just say he doesn’t know where it is. He’s not likely to hand it over now is he. My search is now focused on that old phone and I want to find it safe and out if battery in the back of a cupboard or drawer somewhere that proves it hasn’t been used.
I really am panicking a bit now. And it makes total sense he’d get it fixed if he was planning to use it. Jesus, this was months ago. I am such a fucking idiot not to see this.
But I have no actual proof! I need some proof somehow. Any suggestions about asking for old phone? Or shall I just come out and say I know you have a secret phone and bluff that I’ve seen him on it or something?
Also there’s a couple devices connected to internet that I can’t pin down. They don’t say iPhone though, but I just read that a recent iOS update which requested new iPhone or something may not show device name. I’m really confused.
I need to check the MAC address of his normal phone and the kids phones and everything else that connects to see if I can rule those out. I ignored them before because they don’t show the actual device name so I thought they were the extender or the tv or something.
If this turns out to be true and he’s been using a secret phone , whatever the reason, it’s still up to no good. And a huge breach of trust which will destroy me.
That phone, whether stored or being used is in this bloody house somewhere. And the fact I can’t find it suggests it’s no longer obsolete and in storage.
I’m trying my best not to panic and to stay calm until I have some proper firm proof.
I’m not putting a camera in the toilet though!

For the devices you cannot identify, you could try typing the MAC into the macvendor website, to get an idea of what type of device it is.
Where it reports back as 'unknown' this isn't anything to worry about; it will report as unknown where a mac has been spoofed. This isn't something to automatically worry about because a recent ios update causes phones to broadcast a spoof mac address when they connect to a new network.

Thibk it might be at the point now where this relationship is doing you more harm than good op. You're becoming obsessive as to whether or not there is a secret phone. There may well be but relationships are supposed to make life easier not harder. Look at how stressed you are. It might be time to call it quits and get some therapy before dating again. Not to say he isnt up to something but at this point it's become irrelevant because the cold hard truth is, your losing your sanity in this relationship. No man is worth that.

Just turn off the wifi on the devices you know about and recheck (when he is around) what is connected. For phones just put them in aeroplane mode, for computers switch of the wifi. I am sure this is correct but happy to be told otherwise.

Hi OP.

Just to say you don't actually need proof. All you need to know is that you saw him that night and now you feel in your gut he's having some kind of affair. He's very unlikely to admit it. Even less likely to slip up now he is possibly aware of your suspicions.

Are you able to change the WiFi password and then go round the devices and update it (including his phone)? His secret old phone won't work. He'll have to ask you about it eventually as I bet he sends messages using an app like Kik which needs the internet.

@ElizaLaLa

I'd put a sound recorder in the downstairs bathroom and hope he hasn't disabled the keypad sounds.

Or if you REALLY want to know, hide a camera in there. His behaviour warrants it imo.

How would you feel if someone filmed you in the bathroom?

What a batshit suggestion, encouraging an OP to break the law or saying you would do so yourself!

And spy cameras are illegal in parts of your own home where anyone else has a "reasonable expectation of privacy." A bathroom is THE prime example. The law is very clear about that.

@Dissillusioned - use the find my iPhone function on the legitimate phone that you know about. Or on your phone if you know his iTunes login. Look under the devices tab. If there are two phones registered then ask them both to play a sound.

The IMEI number should be on the box so if you can get access to the phone he’s using you’ll be able to figure out if he’s using the old or the new phone at least.

He wouldn't need WiFi if he hot spots off his normal phone ... I think you need to sit back and watch and remain calm , he will feel your senses are high at the moment and may be being very careful. If he is up to no good you will catch him. Has he done anymore mid night trips to the loo over the past few days? If it were me I'd try and stay awake to see if he disappears to the loo again then be waiting with some excuse when he comes out... also move the charger in the office , see if he mentions it .. the fact that phone has gone missing is raising eyebrows... also if u suspect he's using the secret phone In front of you find a stupid joke or something to send to him and see if it's delivered... I'd concentrate on old jackets , dressing gowns on bathroom doors , old boots /shoes. Under the table of the office held on by a magnet.. good luck x

Another hiding place is the lining of a carry on case - they often have zips.