Dating Thread 198 - FOMO is a real thing

[cravingthelook]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I had my walking date with Miss No Cats earlier - I thought she was attractive, but rather hard work to talk to. She seemed to be quite negative about everything. I'm 50/50 about whether I'd see her again, but thought it was worth a second date just to see whether we'd get on better with a bit more warmth in the air. However she replied to say she didn't think there was enough chemistry, although she wasn't sure how much of that was down to the situation.

I heard back from Miss Why too earlier - she said she had a good time, and would be up for a date once we're allowed to go out to places, but the lack of enthusiasm speaks volumes.

I know it's probably not me, but it's hard to believe it sometimes.

I'm starting to think it's not worth even bothering with these walking dates. And the news tonight saying that pubs may not open until May is even more depressing. 5 months of this lockdown is going to be tough.

@TheCatWithTheHat
Its definitely not you, clearly you have something that women like as they agree to a walking date, its unfortunate if there is no spark or you dont feel compatible and Covid doesnt help because your options are so limited.

@cravingthelook
Hope everything is ok and ypur meet with Mr Hometown went well.

@Clovertoast
Hope you are ok, please come back when you are ready.

Everyone Else hope your Monday goes as well as it can 😊😊

@TheCatWithTheHat i doubt it's you. You are clearly pulling these potentials early on and getting decent interest. It's really hard to have lovely romantic walking dates when it's freezing. Even Mr Yoga said he doesn't like choosing between freezing hands and actually eating (when we tried an outdoor eating walk!) and we have been together for 6 months now. Personally I'd only go for a walk if you feel a decent spark and perhaps give it a teeny bit longer to guage them. Otherwise you'll be doing freezing walks every weekend which can't be fun.

I can't see this being 5 months but I think if warmer, it will be a lot more fun later on. Let's hope it's only till mid Feb.

I have arranged our zoom meal for this week, so one of the local chefs whose restaurants have had to close is doing home deliveries so I have sorted out meals for us both plus bringing our own desserts! Now tips please, do I dress up super sexily!? I feel a bit dumb doing that on zoom....

Waiting on potential supervisor comments like 😬😬😬😬😬 here they’re meant to comment on my application but the deadline is tonight so I want to submit early to be on the safe side.

Had a big detailed zoom call last week but I don’t want to annoy them by chasing too much tho like they’re my new bestie!

Essentially it’s like messaging dating dynamics

Got significant practical application help from someone I met on plenty of fish year before last (never consummated, he’s attractive and I think finds me so, but just timing has been bad!).

I do think apps are good for just generally meeting new people in my demographic

if I do end up relocating this year I’m definitely going to be open to using them for that purpose -, regardless of my dating situation.

Glad you rediscovered the good vibes @SortingItOut

@TheCatWithTheHat sorry it sounds a bit frustrating - online dating can be such a roller coaster of emotions and wreak havoc with self-esteem! (No matter who you are - it’s not just you!)

I’m started a structured meditation course for the next couple months on Wednesday my retreat was cancelled this month obviously (Tbf I actually didn’t mind as I’ve got too much to do!)

zoom socialising fills me with horror but being with the same groupmates and having the social routine/general chat with like minded people will help with the loneliness

@Eesha good for you, helping the local chefs business out 👍🏽

I’d probably dress sexy flattering for zoom but not overthink it or worry too much - check how you look in the preview a bit, as I think certain outfits/colours do look better than others?

If you want go go risqué you could go bare shouldered/revealing top - as this is the one date you don’t need to worry about gawkers or getting cold or a waiter seeing a flash of nipple!

My opinion is you can’t really see subtleties like make up/patterns etc a lot of the time on video calls

I know just getting the lighting and position right can turn me into a stunner!

Not dating related but I thought I would share. I have an interview tomorrow of a 3 month FTC and an interview at the end of the month for a permanent position. The 3 month FTC would be a stepping stone and the permanent position isn't an ideal job but it would give me more experience and I could sit it out for a year or so while the events industry hopefully gets back to normal post covid.
Not counting my eggs before they hatch so keeping applying and holding a preferred position is interested in me.

Well done @Dancerinthemoonlight 💪🏽👍🏽 Keep us updated x

Is it a zoom interview @Dancerinthemoonlight ?

@Dancerinthemoonlight fingers crossed!!!

@SleepyBunk thank you! He was saying smart casual but I actually have an awful lot of 'fun' sexy outfits which I don't think I'll be able to wear in real life and I might try those out! Im not great with stuff like zoom so might do a trial run!

@SleepyBunk Microsoft teams interviews both of them.

Lol @Eesha I think we’re all going to be amateur tiktok stars by the end of this lockdown!

I made a “clip” for MrMilitary and it seemed to go down well though I’m a bit worried about anonymity etc. If I do another one I think I’ll say his name lots and lots as it’s quite distinctive.

I don’t want to do it too often though, maybe randomly on his birthday in spring

I had some quite bad experiences with “trying to be sexy for my dates” in my early 20s and associated it with low self esteem and “trying too hard” only to feel rejected and unfeminine and ridiculous.

So I kind of shut that part of me down for a while.

But both my irons are very keen on that side and I’m enjoying it too right now so I’ll unleash my inner Carry On girl.

I have a zoom interview on Friday and I’m bricking it - I need to practice presentations and how not to look like an idiot! I know the material back to front it’s just worrying about tech fail

Sounds good @Dancerinthemoonlight 👌

@SleepyBunk good luck for your interview on Friday.

I think mine is fear of the unknown as I have always been self-employed but want to future proof work incase something like covid happens again. I have gotten so used to getting no's that it's amazing a company loves my CV. It should be though because I am amazing at what I do.

There are some jobs I have applied for that I would sooner but I can always gain more experience and move onwards after a year or so if a more suitable position becomes available. (at least I think I can as I have only worked on contracts and for me)

Glad to hear that things felt good when you reconnected with Mr k, Sorting. I think with all the things challenging things happening in the world it's easy to feel unsettled and unsure.
Eesha, your zoom meal sounds fantastic. Something lovely to focus on and look forward to. In first lockdown my DDs and I dressed up and had a meal and drinks a couple of times. It was a boost to have a reason to put on make up and nicer clothes, I enjoyed the planning and getting ready as much as the evening itself.
Cat I think others are right, you are clearly someone that women want to connect with. If you are getting a bit 'walking date weary' then I would maybe ease off the notion that you are looking for the potential for the real deal with these dates and view it more as an opportunity to make new friends. Are you potentially diverting time to dating that you might instead be able to use to connect with RL friends ?
I felt good for having got out yesterday and had a pretty chilled evening watching " Sex Education " which I had heard about but never actually seen. Spoke to Mr V late and all seemed fine. I have been left with a bit of a residual ' have I said too much ?' where you start worrying that if you seem like hard work or are flagging up issues then they are likely to walk.. Some of you would say that you should always really address what is on your mind and I agree ( in theory) but sometimes the putting that into practice is easier said than done. This morning , out of the blue, he said he was close by ( doing a delivery or pick up in the area ) and he called in for a few minutes. It was lovely to see him, even without make up on and a ' it's Monday , drag on the nearest thing ' pair of leggings and jumper. I am going to avoid too many times when it's me , him and DDs and see if I can find ways to spend more quality time with him. Limited options and I know I am lucky that I am seeing him at all.
Good luck Sleepy and Dancer. I've got every faith that you will both be fabulous and if it's the right thing for you then it'll all fall into place.

Good luck @Dancerinthemoonlight.

@Eesha just wear what makes you happy, if you dress to please yourself your happiness and confidence will rocket fuel the entire evening.

Bit of an update. Had a walking date on the weekend. Have the same problem as @Cat maybe. Can get irons in their walking boots but not to spark. "You seem like a nice guy but... ". Good luck for those with interviews @Dancerinthemoonlight and @SleepyBunk

Interview went okay, it's a people and project management role rather than event manager role but I will see what happens. I'd I don't get it then I don't, will just count it as more experience. The right role and the right man will come along. My mantra this year is to be more positive about everything.

@Dancerinthemoonlight glad it all went ok. It's always great practice I feel with these things

Good work and like you say good experience @Dancerinthemoonlight

I’m looking forward to chatting about topics I love in interview but finding all the general admin and chasing references etc mentally irritating 😠 admin in some places is moving at snails pace due to the situation

so I’m very “frustrated woman on the phone” right now .

Well done @Dancerinthemoonlight

@SortingItOut thanks I'm actually taking time to see how I feel about Mr Hometown

I get on great with him, it was very chilled and relaxed. It was so bloody cold we came back to mine and hung out all day. I do find him attractive but not rip his clothes off attractive. We did have sex a couple of times (it was a fab meet after all) and the second was better but I was way more vocal about stuff. It was lovely and we chatted a lot.

Then during post coital chat he revealed he lied about his age. Now for a FWB it shouldn't bother me, so I'm not sure why it should but it does a bit.

Our schedules don't align this week so we are meeting next Wednesday, I'll wait and see what I feel like after then.
I feel bad though as I know I'm not mega into him, but I've been upfront and said I don't want a relationship.

TBH I think the sex has potential to be less in quantity but high in quality.
Compared to a more rampant more quantity with Mr Sounds who I think I fancy more.

I have more in common with Mr Hometown tho.

I guess what I'm saying is none of them are right

New SATC series though I don’t think it will come out in time to get me through lockdown 🤔

I’m:

50% Miranda
20% Charlotte
20% Samantha
10% Carrie

Fingers crossed @Dancerinthemoonlight and good luck for your interview @SleepyBunk

@cravingthelook glad you got some bedroom action with MrHometown. Sounds brill despite the lack of rip clothes off end of the scale of attraction

I've got a walking date lined up with a new iron I had a two hour lovely fun chat with last night. He gives great text but respectful of my time. Not my usual type but came in strong on matching with my favourite kind of line.

I'll call him MrBass (pretty sure I've used that before but who cares)

@SleepyBunk 100% Samantha here. Devastated they’ve dropped her