Dating Thread 198 - FOMO is a real thing

[cravingthelook]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Can I ask advice please...

Should I ask my iron if he wants to meet for a walk this weekend? He's going away for months from next week so I don't want to chat endlessly for months then find I'm not keen when he's back if that even happens.

I'd prefer him to ask me. Do men mind this? 😀

Def just ask @bangheadhere40 you have nothing to lose and everything to gain

Thanks lurker I might tomorrow if he's still talking to me.

I have my fingers crossed for you too

Thanks @bangheadhere40 def just ask!

Oh joy, joy, eternal joy, another lockdown

I should count my blessings, though- school have agreed that the DC can attend part time (due to me having a mini breakdown over the last lockdown), and I guess I can do a bit of bubbling with Mr Double Decker.

Niche Fab request of the day: Jeremy Corbyn roleplay

@crackofdoom what would that look like do you suppose? I can't imagine. Old Labour rhetoric, silvery beard wearing, allotment expertise sharing

Bless. Takes all sorts.

I've already told him I have an allotment. Waiting to hear back from him about whether he makes jam

How depressing. This lockdown is going to be the hardest one of the lot I think.

So Miss Why has been in touch asking if it means our date at the weekend is off - as far as I know we can still meet one person outside for exercise, so I think it's fine. Hopefully she won't be too

Miss Restaurant has been chatting. Turns out she's Polish - I would have guessed Russian. She's convinced nothing will be open again until June. I hope she's wrong!

@bangheadhere40 go for it! I suppose normally I'd say is it a good idea to meet, knowing he's going away for a few months? But it's not like you'll be able to do much for the next 2-3 months anyway even if he was around...

Oh. I've figured out why Miss Restaurant is still single. Covid conspiracy alert!!

Re reading guidelines and meeting for walks should just be local. I wouldn't class this iron as local and would involve a bit of travelling. This is tricky, maybe I will leave it 😐

Oh dear Cat...I find the covid conspiracy theorists a bit much. Someone I vaguely know is 'still' suggesting it's all a ploy. That would put me off personally.

Ha that makes sense @TheCatWithTheHat is miss restaurant the one that won't do a coffee or a walk?
So gutted about yet another lockdown, feels like a real downer to start the year on.
I won't be seeing my fab iron again until things have calmed down considerably (had date zero before Christmas and got on well). His comms isn't great so let's see if there's anything to pick back up.
Thinking of @Clovertoast hope you're treating yourself as you would a friend.

Joy of joys, another lockdown 🤦‍♀️

Met up with mrtatts again last night (before Boris announcement) but I don't think I'm feeling it. Hes a lovely guy but I'm not sure I'm that attracted.

Chatted on phone with MrEngineer the other night. Seems nice. Not an engineer though. He wants a facetime tonight. I've agreed but don't have any enthusiasm for it given the lockdown. I had already muted apps because couldn't face another freezing wet walking date but he also isn't local so we wouldn't be meeting anytime soon anyway 🤷‍♀️

Really struggling with the unknown aspect of when this will end - last time was much easier

I'm currently finding it hard to cope with not knowing about MrLongWalks...I asked but I don't think he knows what he's doing - not sure how long anyone can continue a virtual relationship

@LongtimelurkerL - At least till half term I think. Depends in part how well organised they are with the vaccine (ie don't count on it). My impression from twitter is that March / April is realistic assuming no unforseen complications / developments. How far are MrLongWalks parents?

Yeah I think that too @DudeFromThatLondon - i'm a teacher so am aware of the details. I'm mainly just panicking....

His parents are a few hours away - don't want to be outing by sharing it - so if he goes back there then he's not coming back until the schools reopen (also works in schools)

@LongtimelurkerL, are you struggling with the unknown physical element with things with Mr Longwalks ? I think you're at an advantage over some in that you have spent a fair bit of time in each other's company so you know you fancy him and get on well. Not sure why he isn't flagging it up himself though. He could be saying that he would have liked a kiss by now, damn you Covid ! I think I would definitely be keeping him in my life, even if it can only be chats for the time being. It seems too good to bail on.

Yes @Onesmallstep67 i'm struggling with the fact that if he goes to his parents it could be months until we see each other. Last lockdown I wasn't too worried as I hadn't made any connections with anyone so just wrote the whole time period off. I will be very sad if it all goes to pot just because of this lockdown - Yes also to the wanting a kiss.....was hoping to be able to 'force' a kiss next meet.....

Mr V and I had to have a virtual relationship through the first lockdown and that came on the back of him having dropped out of my life for a few weeks. By the time we met again in person it was 5 months since we had last seen each other. It was strange and testing but then so was life in general. I knew I wanted the chance to reconnect properly so I hung in there and actually our calls were something to look forward to.

@LongtimelurkerL, I get it and I'm sure Mr Longwalks is feeling it too. Does he seem frustrated that your in person meets may be scuppered ? Is there a reason why he would have to go to his parents ? Is there no expectation that he would be on the rota to deliver some of the in person supervision for the students in school ?

Guess i'll just have to play it by ear.....just feels so unfair to have finally met someone I'd like to try to have a relationship with....(which I know is really selfish and pathetic)

@Onesmallstep67 yes he does seem frustrated - I had a one tear emoji about a plan I had about our next meeting. I have no idea about whether he'll be required to go into school....haven't asked. In terms of going to his parents, he doesn't need to I don't think but he went during the first lockdown for company/support etc which I do get - guess I will just have to ask....

Lurker none of what you're feeling is selfish or pathetic. You've met someone you like and now there seems a big obstacle to it moving on to the next level. We're all feeling it in different ways but don't give up hope because as yet there is absolutely no reason to.

@LongtimelurkerL - it's not selfish or pathetic at all to want to spend time with someone you like. There's not really a conflict between your emotional needs and the common good in this situation. And as you're a teacher you're already doing more than your fair bit (and not getting deserved thanks). If it's any help, I don't think anybody will be doing much in the way of dating for a few months so it's just a matter of keeping in touch.

I knew this lockdown was coming, but I still burst into tears at the announcement last night. I have primary age dc. I am a keyworker but my children's school have closed to all children today so I've had to take an emergency day off work. I live in the middle of nowhere, with not too many friends in this part of the country and I really struggled with the last lockdown.

MrTall knows my situation and phoned last night straight after the announcement to make sure I was ok and he was finally a bit more forward with telling me what he wants... which is that he doesn't want to stop seeing me, doesn't want to see other people and wants more than a 'fab relationship' with me. It was nice to hear.

That’s really nice @30somethingandstillsingle