Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New bf but he doesn’t find me sexually attractive

154 replies

Confusedashell12 · 28/12/2020 21:06

Both in mid / late 30s. I ended it because nearly 1 year into the relationship he says he doesn’t find me sexually attractive but absolutely adores and loves everything else about me. He was totally into me physically in the beginning, it was intense. It wasn’t put on. It was real. The sex was good. All his mates said he was punching with me. I am told by friends, colleagues etc that I’m very attractive physically, this isn’t me bragging. I’ll lose my looks eventually like everyone else, personality is so much more important. Just don’t understand what has gone on with him? He says he prefers toned and skinny women yet I am a size 10 with a perfectly fine body mass index. He doesn’t have muscles or a six pack Hmm I am careful about what I eat and I do some exercise but nothing too intense. So confused Confused

OP posts:
Cantmakeupmind · 28/12/2020 21:08

What an awful thing to say OP. Are you thinking about getting back together?

PeteringOut · 28/12/2020 21:09

He’s hideous! Do not take back that negging scumbag.

TallTowerFan · 28/12/2020 21:10

He's a dick. I would put money on him seeing if you will dance to his tune , if you lose weight (You clearly have no need to by the way) then you're a keeper as he then gets to manipulate you for kicks for as long as he chooses.

Please stay away!

Shaniac · 28/12/2020 21:11

Wtf why would anyone say that?!

TheYearOfSmallThings · 28/12/2020 21:12

He is a waste of your time. Move on.

madcatladyforever · 28/12/2020 21:12

He's messing with your head and trying to make you feel like you are beneath him so you will beg for every scrap of affection. I'd tell him you've found someone else who makes you feel desirable and let him suck on that.

PicsInRed · 28/12/2020 21:13

@PeteringOut

He’s hideous! Do not take back that negging scumbag.
This. Classic negging to bring you down a few pegs so you'll never leave him.

Prove this head fucking arsehole's fears true, and leave.

Tiddlywinkly · 28/12/2020 21:14

Move on.

voiceofreason1234 · 28/12/2020 21:15

What an absolute scumbag, know your worth and don't entertain him ever again

Confusedashell12 · 28/12/2020 21:15

To all those saying ‘move on’ - I have ended it.

OP posts:
Confusedashell12 · 28/12/2020 21:15

I think he’s being honest - he doesn’t find me sexually attractive, rather than negging me.

OP posts:
voiceofreason1234 · 28/12/2020 21:16

@Confusedashell12

To all those saying ‘move on’ - I have ended it.
Good. Who the f**k does he think he is
Colourmeclear · 28/12/2020 21:17

Probably tried to project his own insecurities on to you.

Bumblebee1980a · 28/12/2020 21:17

Urghh what a disgusting piece of ! He's already had you doubting yourself 🙈. It sounds like he knows you're too good for him and what's to make you feel insecure. Kick him to the curb where he belongs. Stay strong OP. X

GinAndTonicOnIt · 28/12/2020 21:18

Wow, well he's done you a favour!!! What a knob. I hope you enjoy dating again and find someone who deserves you 🥂

TheYearOfSmallThings · 28/12/2020 21:18

To all those saying ‘move on’ - I have ended it.

And yet you are still ruminating about what he said. He is still wasting your time.

Bumblebee1980a · 28/12/2020 21:19

@Confusedashell12

I think he’s being honest - he doesn’t find me sexually attractive, rather than negging me.
No he isn't being honest. He's wants to make you feel bad for some reason. He Sounds manipulative.
Confusedashell12 · 28/12/2020 21:19

Yes because I am upset and confused TheYearOfSmallThings

OP posts:
Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 28/12/2020 21:20

Hope you told him you preferred a man with a bigger dick...

Confusedashell12 · 28/12/2020 21:21

Bumblebee1980a interesting perspective although he has form for criticising gorgeous women for minor ‘faults’

Perhaps he was horrendously ugly as a younger person and is projecting and demanding perfection

Weird Confused

OP posts:
Confusedashell12 · 28/12/2020 21:21

To be honest Santaisironingwrappingpaper He has the smallest I’ve ever seen

OP posts:
PicsInRed · 28/12/2020 21:23

@Confusedashell12

I think he’s being honest - he doesn’t find me sexually attractive, rather than negging me.
No, no. He's one of the gas lighting head fucks who neg and eventually withhold sex (whilst cheating) in order to destroy your self esteem so you'll never leave - because they know they're "punching", as his friends put it, and if they don't bring you low, you could leave. It's abuse and I think if you scratched below the surface you would find that he deeply resents the things about you that are attractive, competent and especially better than what he has to offer. He would punish you for it - and was already doing so. Classic.

Keep walking and don't look back.

Bluntness100 · 28/12/2020 21:24

This can happen. You can totally be into someone at the start and then it changes, you no longer find them sexually attractive . The popular term is “you get the ick”. But still really love the person.

He should have ended it though. It’s like the golden rule you can’t tell someone you’ve got the ick. You come up with another reason.

Confusedashell12 · 28/12/2020 21:27

Yes he said he can’t force himself to have sex with me PicsInRed Sad not that I demanded or even asked for it Hmm

Even before we slept together he said he didn’t know it he’d find me sexually attractive in bed. He always points out tiny wrinkles or a slight lunch tummy on women. Hyper critical. Weird as fuck. Should have seen it coming.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 28/12/2020 21:29

@Confusedashell12

Yes he said he can’t force himself to have sex with me PicsInRed Sad not that I demanded or even asked for it Hmm

Even before we slept together he said he didn’t know it he’d find me sexually attractive in bed. He always points out tiny wrinkles or a slight lunch tummy on women. Hyper critical. Weird as fuck. Should have seen it coming.

Ok then he’s just wanting to hurt you. After a year do you understand why?
Swipe left for the next trending thread