Wife wants a ‘break’

[Struggling73]

Hi all.
On Christmas Eve my wife of 3 months (been together 18 months but known each other 12 years) declared she wasn’t happy and I wasn’t the man she met 18 months ago. I was in shock. I knew things weren’t quite right but I put it down to work stress or something similar. She didn’t say it was over, but that she needed time to figure things out, and she could only do that if I wasn’t there. I agreed I’d try and give her some space afte Xmas but then Xmas morning came and it was torture. I left before lunch and spent the day and night in my car.
I’m now crashing with family. I’m broken, confused and upset. I love her to bits but I think it’s over

SandyY2K - any idea where they are? Lol

There’s one over here

@Purplethrow I am loving this! 💜🥂🍿

PurplePansy05 Thank you so much. It really is astonishing how kind you’ve all been. I don’t mean to sound over dramatic but you’ve saved me. My mental health was rock bottom, I’m picking up

Purplethrow - time and place? Lol

Good luck for tomorrow Struggling73.

Geepee71 Thank you. I’ve a feeling I’m going to need it!

You will be ok , be prepared for your emotions to swing about though, it’s a bit like a bereavement - different stages anger, despair, sadness etc.

And at the risk of sounding like your mum, make sure you eat and drink .

Purplethrow - it’s a brill way to lose weight. Half a stone and counting since Christmas Day. Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty spare.
I’m prepared for the emotions thing. I’ve gone through most of them already and it’s only been 4 days! :(

time and place?

I’m always up for a sd walk , I’m going stir crazy and could bore you rigid with moaning about my domestic situation (have daughter and her boyfriend living with me).

Purplethrow At the risk of sounding naive- a sd walk?
Oh... and after all the time and advice you lovely lot have afforded me, I’m happy to listen to

Too * pet hate using the wrong ‘to / Too :)

A socially distanced walk! Love it

Shaniac - ah! I’ll get my wellies on 😂

Geeze.... you guys have just raised a smile. Minor miracle considering I’ve barely slept or eaten for 4 days! Thank you

This thread gives me life as I'm lying here unwell in my pregnancy Who knows, maybe you have just struck out some online/IRL friendships here OP There's a favourite quote of mine, from Florence Welch, "It's always darkest before the dawn."

Good luck tomorrow, we're with you! And keep talking and coming back to this thread to reread stuff when you are feeling low. This is what a MN handhold thread is it's known to achieve magic results

PurplePansy05 - good luck with the pregnancy, I hope it goes well and you’re feeling better soon,
I don’t about friendships but I’ll certainly remember many of your names (well, username) for a very long time.
I can’t even express the help your support has given me. Me. A complete stranger in a dark place.

Sorry to hear you’re not well PurplePansy

Hope you feel better purplepansy. Definitely op, theres always someone hear to listen to anything. And sometimes we can be cheery too

There’s at least 8 of us that will be behind you tomorrow in spirit , so to speak.

MN has certainly helped me over the years, it’s a special place , weird sometimes but some of the stories and outcomes have been amazing.

Shaniac - thank you. I’m pretty sure whatever happens tomorrow there are going to be plenty of emotional ups and down in the coming weeks..... you’ll all be getting the brunt of it!

Ahh op, I’m so sorry about how this is all panning out for you. I just wanted to reiterate what others have said: you deserve better than this. You can hold your head up high and know you gave it your all. You haven’t tried to claim it is her fault and were willing to work on any issues. Massive credit to you.

My marriage has also not survived 2020. I think there will be a fair few of us in our 40s joining the dating scene in 2021!

Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow.

Purplethrow - I can imagine. I’ve only been here for 5 minutes, after a teary eyed google search for ‘my wife doesn’t want me and I’m broken’ - and I can feel it already. I’m in a shit place..... but not quite as shit as yesterday

FarFromTheMaddeningToddler - thank you for that. I’m really sorry your marriage has broken down too. It’s horrible :(

Thank you all, much appreciated

I think that's a very good point re dating scene, it might boom for 30+ and 40+ certainly in 2021-2022. That's great news, OP!

PurplePansy05 It’s great news if you have the first clue about the dating scene.
Some of us will be lost 😳