He has said goodbye,am I justified feeling hurt?

[wheresthesnow]

I've been "friends " with a guy for nearly 2 years now.
We spoke about everything daily.
We had some dates about a year ago and have slept together and nearly actually got together but he backed off.
We haven't slept together in a year but I thought we developed quite a good friendship.
He would confide in me about things and me him.
We would chat on the phone but mostly text.
He told me he still fancied me but he was a bit of a Jack the lad.
I messaged him last week (as normal never thought anything of it) he took ages to reply.
Then he replied "I'm starting to date (name of woman) I don't want you to message me again thanks "
I replied "eh we are friends why not"
He replied "do you not understand I want no more contact with you,stop messaging me,goodbye,there's no need for further communication"
Then I replied and no response
I'm unbelievably hurt.
I feel like I've lost a limb.
I had accepted we would never be a couple but I value him as a friend.
He's literally throwing me away for someone his known a fortnight.
I've never stopped crying for a week now.
Would you message again?
It's not like we are still sleeping together or sending naked pics
Even tho a few months ago he told me he resisted looking at my pics as he liked it too much and confused him.

Op delete his number and block him on al platforms . Then book yourself in for counciling . You need to learn some strategies for dealing with this. If he gets in touch in the future please don't reply or engage with him. He obviously likes having you around when convenient.

Great post @SnowyOwlWan

SnowyOwlWan that is spot on about not seeing bad treatment directed at us but having a lightening bolt moment when you see it directed at others. Your Jenny74 is my Dan from Croydon... a friend of his who he roundly berated and once called a cunt without feeling the need to apologise. I remember saying "urgh, did you grovel then?" when poor Dan had got back in touch with him and he looked at me like I was mad. Because why should he apologise, right?!

Block him. Get therapy. Get out and meet new people. Don’t ever reply to him again. He’s a user and cruel and disgusting. He’s used you and chucked you away. Get some back bone and respect yourself.

He is a complete shitbag, he has done you a favour by showing his true colours. Don't contact him again, ignore him if he contacts you. Get on with your life without him. You are worth so much more than this.

He used you as a back up plan whilst he continued to act as a total fuck boy. He's only out for himself and doesn't care about you. You know that.

Rather than feeling like a mug for letting this happen, think about what you've learnt from the experience... how you'll not let anyone treat you that way again... you'll find someone who makes you feel valued.

The best way to let him know that you don't care is to do nothing. Block his number. Delete him from ALL social media. Remove all means of contacting him in a moment of weakness.

Throw yourself into something else. A hobby. RL friends. Distract yourself. If you do think about him, remember the bad stuff, his appalling behaviour.

Then, when he come crawling back (and he will, you only have to wait) you can have the satisfaction of replying "I'm sorry, who is this? Oh, it's you. No, thanks."

havent rtft but are you sure it was him who texted you? maybe the gf got hold of the phone and did it.

He sounds bloody awful and more than capable of sending those texts.

OP, set yourself a target. Say one week of not contacting. Then another, and another. I swear you will feel so much stronger and have much more respect for yourself.

And yes, you've been posting about him for ages, always getting the same advice. People on here care about you more than he ever has, or ever will.

He's just a horrible person. Nothing more, nothing less.

But can I ask, you said he included the woman's name in his text, so how come you don't know if it's the ex or not? Surely you know her name?

@wheresthesnow

It wasn't just sex,we had dates,cinema,weekend away,food ,drinks etc. Then he started treating me poorly and other women came into play.

And why would you want someone who treats you like that as a friend? I agree he's done you a favour. Hurtful and unkind behaviour so you have every right to feel upset but find people who make you feel good..not this. (And I know I also need to take my own advice here).

You’ve had a lucky escape here . Please be kind to yourself and not get back into something similar .

You're both users. You've both been using each other for emotional support only you seem to have become over invested.

He's moved on. You need to move on. Give him a chance to try and work on his new relationship.

Think of him as being a total shit for not reciprocating your feelings if that makes you feel better and able to move forward. Just let it go.

You can self refer for online CBT, might get you started. Having something else in your life will help you stop thinking about him.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/free-therapy-or-counselling/]]

He's not a shit for not reciprocating...he is shit for the way he's cruelly messaged her! He could be respectful and kind even if he didn't want to see her anymore.

He is no friend to you and your relationship with him has been very unhealthy. He has the ability to really hurt you. He will be back for more at some point, I'd put money on it.

Block him. Don't look back.

How you doing OP?