boyfriend has gone out now for few hours so will update, if it looks like thinigs arent serious because i have time to go online, that isnt the case,the pc is just always on and my family/friends are biased towards me re this situation so i do really appreciate different views of support of this forum. i suppose this is kind of like a 'live'event.
thankyou all for your advice, i didnt realise the police can actually remove someone from your home unless they have committed some kind of crime first, whereas im not convinced that just telling the police my boyfriend intends to damage the house if i ask him to leave will help, as my byfriend will just tell them im lying, he is exceptionally clever EQ and IQ wise top brain at school etc etc i am very very scared of what he is capable of, he has even mentioned kidnapping the baby when he has access rights to her if it comes to that.
i am too nervous to have a 'scene', i was going to do it, but i feel perhaps i do need some support with me to spur me on.
what holds me back is starting the ball rolling, i know for instance if i phone womens aid or the police it makes the inevtiable more 'real' for me, whereas i could just switch off the pc, make a cup of tea, enjoy a few hours of peace whilst he's out this evening and pretened nothings happened again.
i hate what is going to happen to him, i dont hate him and he's already very depressed due to recent events in his life, i wonder if this will be something to make him 'wake up'as he is head stuck in sand over the recent events too as well as the seriousness of this, perhaps in a horrible way it might make things better for him too in the long run, as he must hate himself too for doing this to me, this is what Im keeping in mind anyway, as you know im goijng to have to plan things 'covertly' for instance arrange removals to have his stuff moved out and put into storage, have the locks changed when he's not here etc he is going to go NUTS believe me.
i will keep this post updated where i can, but the pc has been replaced so many times its very likely he will break it again which will be the only reason i dont reply.
i am going to write to the landlady first i think and ask her what she thinks about my asking the police to remove him and having locks changed. i dont feel brave enough to speak to her yet, in case she thnks im a problem tenant (i have only been here 2 months), by the way my last rented house, he caused so many complaints to the point where one more would have evicted me, due to his hoarding scrap and junk on the premises and all sorts...
i would especially be interested to hear from anyone who has gone through this, having their partner removed from their home or if anyone can tell me if it's correct that custody is always given to the mother initially until proved otherwise, I am actually breastfeeding at the moment so surely they couldnt take her away from me during this (he has said he will lie to the social services and tell them im mentally unstable in order to have the baby put into care).
i will bne so glad when this is over. i am feeling closer to it all happening, its been going on for nearly 5 years now, im not just spouting off here for the sake of it, things feel different.