I think you had it in one with him having been single for a long time and stuck in his own routine.
(And rather rude and self-centred, never pausing to consider how he comes across to other people, or that that could be different from the way he sees himself and the world).
I have met plenty of men like this, who are friends with other men like this, so take selfishness to be the norm. Their idea of having a guest to stay for the weekend is going for a night out on Saturday but otherwise sticking to their own routine and expecting the guest to fit in around that.
I suspect that to him, DTD was the romance.
I think a lot of women are so heavily trained to think of others and to see their own low self-esteem as normal, that they fail to recognise that this is not the case for most men and that many, many men experience the opposite effect, of falsely-inflated self-esteem, which they have never paused to question.
You should tell him clearly what you had expected, why you were surprised and how this made you feel. See how he reacts.
But bear in mind that even an 'oh, I'm sorry, I'll try harder in future' is the start of a very long, hard path, of you having to spell out expected behaviour all the time and of him, however willing to improve and impress he claims to be, tiring of this, expressing frustration and probably reacting to you as if you're his mum.
Only a truly contrite and capable 'you're right, I'm sorry', which takes all the responsibility, will do.