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Original poster

No breakfast after DTD

252 replies

Notanotherfreak · 20/12/2020 22:19

So I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable, and need advice! Been dating a guy ..we’ve had 6 dates & had dinner at his last night (we’ve both had Covid before I’m flamed!). Was discussed beforehand that I’d stay. So he cooks me a lovely dinner, I stay, we DTD. All good. DTD again in the morning then get he gets up. I have a cup of tea then he says he has to walk the dog & then going for a run... it’s obvious then he’s not going to make me a coffee (I asked) or make me breakfast before I go. So I leave but tbh feel pretty pee’d off as it was all a bit efficient and kind of thought it would be nice to offer me breakfast before I go! Am I being precious? It’s not a work day but a Sunday! Am thinking maybe he got what he wanted and just wanted me gone? Not sure if this is a red flag or he’s just been a batchelor for so long he’s just is entrenched in his routine...what would you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
Notanotherfreak · 21/12/2020 00:30

We have texted today yes. He instigated. I’ll see what happens tomorrow. Fair comment about not wanting to leave me in his house while he went out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Notanotherfreak · 21/12/2020 00:31

@BrokenNotDead omg yes it could’ve been that! Made me laugh anyway! 🤣

OP posts:
TinaTurnoff · 21/12/2020 00:32

If he was taking the dog for a walk, I would have totally expected him to say ‘stay put, I’ll pick you up a coffee and pastry, and be back in 20 minutes.’ Did he whoosh you out as he was leaving?

FlamedToACrisp · 21/12/2020 00:32

Sunday doesn't even START until 10am as far as I'm concerned! He was rude to hurry you away, and it's obvious this morning was all about what HE wanted, not being a good host at all. However, I must admit I would never dream of leaving a person I had only known a short time alone in my house, even if I was sure they were honest. He wanted you gone so he could walk the dog as normal, but he was just rude about it. Not a hanging offence. I'd give him another chance.

FortunesFave · 21/12/2020 00:39

Sunday doesn't even START until 10am but that's YOUR opinion. I start Sundays just the same as weekdays...at 7.00am. I wouldn't change that for someone else...I also wouldn't hurry them off but you know...people are different.

RandomUsernameHere · 21/12/2020 00:41

Maybe he doesn't eat breakfast or didn't have anything in. I wouldn't ditch him just yet, leave the ball in his court and see what happens.

livefornaps · 21/12/2020 00:50

If I was in the street at 9:15am on a sunday after sleeping over with a man, I would assume he had done the pump pump in my junk and was now good and ready to dump

NoProblem123 · 21/12/2020 01:00

He just wanted to get on with his day, alone.
It’s not a reflection of what he thinks about you or your first night together.
He was probably tired, guests are exhausting and he DTD twice so give him a break.

Guineapigbridge · 21/12/2020 01:02

Dogs are creatures of habit and need walking every morning. I'd be impressed that he's a good dog owner tbh.
If you want breakfast, ask for breakfast.

Guineapigbridge · 21/12/2020 01:03

I'm also in the camp that thinks it's ok for him to want the day alone. He probably really likes you but also has stuff to do on a Sunday. That's fine, so do you, right?

Roberta268 · 21/12/2020 01:07

I’ve been in this situation several times and it’s never worked out well. The contrast between the night before and the morning after is ominous.

Thismustbelove · 21/12/2020 01:08

I think its rude.

A similar thing happened to me when I dated someone. I was really into him. Any time (yes I allowed it to happen numerous times) I stayed over, he got up and either left the house when I was still in bed or practically banged the door behind me in his haste to get me out. As far as I remember he NEVER offered me a coffee. And he was definitely a breakfast eater as the remnants of his breakfast would still be on the counter when we got back to his house if we had met straight after work. He wasn't into me, something it took me a long time to recognise.
Rather than throw in the towel, its worth saying it to him. At least you will know where you stand.

clpsmum · 21/12/2020 01:15

Ffs another person accusing somebody of "being on the spectrum" because things don't go their way. Do you realise how offensive that is to us people with people actually on the spectrum in real life

clpsmum · 21/12/2020 01:18

@2BDIs well said. Op Meant no offence but has caused offence and doesn't seem to care, yet is offended at you being angry at her ignorance! Ffs

SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2020 01:18

@TinaTurnoff

If he was taking the dog for a walk, I would have totally expected him to say ‘stay put, I’ll pick you up a coffee and pastry, and be back in 20 minutes.’ Did he whoosh you out as he was leaving?
Totally depends where you live. You'd struggle to take the dog for a 20 minutes walk here and pick up a pastry. Even Greggs is further away than that. You could get a Maccies I guess
Fudgsicles · 21/12/2020 01:25

@FortunesFave

Fudge to be fair, I'm on the spectrum and I often miss social cues by miles. I think about a situation later and THEN it occurs to me.

Like..."Oh God I should have offered her a lift!" or "Why didn't I give those kids a pound for helping me?"

Stupid minor things...but things which don't occur immediately.

I'm also on the spectrum hence I get offended when others on here constantly diagnose someone with autism and blame any social ineptitude on it as well.

I get what you mean. I miss stuff all the time and there are things that would genuinely never occur to me but I am so sick of these armchair diagnoses.

GlassLake · 21/12/2020 01:26

Men are pretty dumb so he probably didn't think.

GlassLake · 21/12/2020 01:27

@Notanotherfreak

Yes did hear from him to say how sunny it was. But no thanks for coming over it was lovely text.
He doesn't know you expect a text saying 'thanks for coming over it was lovely' because he's a man.
Fudgsicles · 21/12/2020 01:29

@clpsmum

Ffs another person accusing somebody of "being on the spectrum" because things don't go their way. Do you realise how offensive that is to us people with people actually on the spectrum in real life
Yes to this!!
StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads · 21/12/2020 01:44

No need to complicate things by trying to second guess what he would or wouldn't have done if he was/wasn't into, if he's missed social cues etc. I would simply trust your gut. If you felt snubbed by him then you probably were.

willsa · 21/12/2020 01:52

Disgusting behaviour. Leave him to his inconsiderate ways.

The last time I had a guest overnight, I stocked up on quality bread, eggs, granola, berries and yoghurt. And I don't even eat breakfast! That's called being a considerate person to others and a good host.

KunekuneKristmasCake · 21/12/2020 01:53

You’re being a bit harsh. He made you a cup of tea. You’d had a pleasant date the day before and he likely just wanted to settle into his Sunday routine before work on Monday without having to entertain someone. If he’s an introvert he’d probably had enough, even if he fancied the socks off you.

SandAndSea · 21/12/2020 02:17

I don't think this is about breakfast exactly but is about how you're feeling. I think your "bells are ringing". I would listen to them and take a step back.

Guylan · 21/12/2020 02:17

I know this is off topic somewhat but you mentioned he had the vaccine. I take it you mean only the first dose as I didn’t think anyone in the country has had the second dose yet?

I wouldn’t have been happy by his behaviour in the morning. I understand a person may not want to spend all morning with you, but 9.15 am is early unless it was made clear the night before the person had plans.

Graphista · 21/12/2020 02:24

I'm taking a wild guess here - he's a surgeon? Or possibly cardio-thoracic specialist?

he does paperwork for his job at weekend

Yea my money is on surgeon for sure!

I reckon you have nothing to lose by telling him his behaviour was out of order which it was! Either he'll have an epiphany and be like "shit! Sorry you're totally right" in which case you can perhaps continue (cautiously) or he'll not see there was a problem in which case you dump and you've dodged a bullet!

NOTHING excuses this kind of bad manners.

You've been pulled up on your own here too (seriously drop the "on the spectrum nonsense" not just here but in general) and I'm pretty sceptical you've been covid safe (which is truly shit of him considering his patients!) but that's not what you posted about.

I've a fairly unconventional approach to relationships myself but manners cost nothing, I've had fuck buddies treat me and who I have treated better than this!

It's honestly basic manners!