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Original poster

No breakfast after DTD

252 replies

Notanotherfreak · 20/12/2020 22:19

So I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable, and need advice! Been dating a guy ..we’ve had 6 dates & had dinner at his last night (we’ve both had Covid before I’m flamed!). Was discussed beforehand that I’d stay. So he cooks me a lovely dinner, I stay, we DTD. All good. DTD again in the morning then get he gets up. I have a cup of tea then he says he has to walk the dog & then going for a run... it’s obvious then he’s not going to make me a coffee (I asked) or make me breakfast before I go. So I leave but tbh feel pretty pee’d off as it was all a bit efficient and kind of thought it would be nice to offer me breakfast before I go! Am I being precious? It’s not a work day but a Sunday! Am thinking maybe he got what he wanted and just wanted me gone? Not sure if this is a red flag or he’s just been a batchelor for so long he’s just is entrenched in his routine...what would you think?

OP posts:

Honeyroar · 20/12/2020 22:51

No you aren’t reading too much into it. He was cold and rude - don’t go rushing around for another go!

Original poster

Notanotherfreak · 20/12/2020 22:52

He’s been great up to now, nice dates out, shopping & coffee date...but just feel a bit shit now. I’d expect a message too saying how nice it was to see me etc ... I dunno. I just hate feeling like he might have had sex, either got what he wanted or wasn’t that into me afterwards. Either I end it & never find out, or wait & see what he says tomorrow. Either way it’s not brilliant to be in this position straight after being intimate.

OP posts:

2BDIs · 20/12/2020 22:54

@Notanotherfreak

A month dating. He was romantic before we DTD, but I did wonder if he was a bit on the spectrum. But it left me feeling empty & upset.

Rude!!!! My husband has ASD and knows how to display basic manners even if he is a little quirky. The guy is just seeing you as a hump and dump but if that is how you judge people maybe you are made for each other.

Original poster

Notanotherfreak · 20/12/2020 22:55

@Honeyroar I don’t intend to. I should be feeling good, not questioning things. Or if I do see him at his for dinner I won’t be sleeping with him or staying the night!!

OP posts:

Honeyroar · 20/12/2020 22:56

I know. I’d just wait until tomorrow and see what he comes out with. Just out of interest. But it’s not good enough, as you said he should’ve been making you feel special after that first night together. I like my space too and would want to walk the dog, but manners first!

Original poster

Notanotherfreak · 20/12/2020 22:57

@2BDIs I meant no offence. But thanks for your angry retort.

OP posts:

CherryPieface · 20/12/2020 22:57

You know you can get COVID more than once, yes?

Original poster

Notanotherfreak · 20/12/2020 22:59

@cherrypieface actually he is an NHS worker & has had the vaccine too & has to test weekly.

OP posts:

Littlemissnutcracker · 20/12/2020 23:00

9.15 is very sharp on a Sunday. Nothing says I can't be bothered more than not offering a coffee or whatever.

stevalnamechanger · 20/12/2020 23:04

Yuck . He should be trying to impress you with his breakfast skills . Don't like the sound of this chap ... unless he intermittent fasts !! 😂😂

mrsbeeton999 · 20/12/2020 23:05

Has he had both doses of vaccine already? That’s quick!

ChronicallyCurious · 20/12/2020 23:05

I would have taken that as a huge hint that he was telling me to get lost

Candyfloss99 · 20/12/2020 23:06

He sounds like a selfish bastard.

yvanka · 20/12/2020 23:07

You aren't part of his life yet. He made you a tea by the sounds of it, that was polite, but he had plans for his day. It can be awkward not knowing when people will leave after DTD.

Imiss2019 · 20/12/2020 23:07

Well if he messages you just be straight and say that you felt he was a bit rude this morning and being ushered out the door without so much as a cup of coffee was a less than pleasant way to end what had been a nice date. If he’s genuine he’ll mortified and pull his socks up a bit.
I

AccidentallyOnSanta · 20/12/2020 23:09

I'd actually send him a message and tell you how you feel. If he tries to minimise it or laugh it off.. move on.

The breakfast and coffee wouldn't bother me. Promptly being shown the door at 9 fucking am would.

Original poster

Notanotherfreak · 20/12/2020 23:13

Mixed thoughts on here! I’ll see what happens tomorrow, but am preparing myself for giving him the elbow.

OP posts:

Fudgsicles · 20/12/2020 23:13

I'm sick to death of everyone judging (on here) others to be on the spectrum. Unless he told you this, which he clearly hasn't, stop making that assumption!

Thisusernameistakenagain · 20/12/2020 23:14

My first instinct is alwyas, with these sorts of things, you're not happy with his treatment of you after sex, so you need to stop if you're not massively into him.

HOWEVER with this, it is a bit of a weird one.

I have a male friend who had been single over ten years, then met his wife. He told me he had this problem that he would just go and do his own thing, one example was go get his own breakfast, and not even consider she may want to eat breakfast with him. She had words and being a decent bloke, he was all 'Oh shit, yes!' and changed.

If everything else is okay, I'd have words with him about your feeling empty. It sounds as if it was more about the cold reception generally than about the breakfast?

I never eat breakfast personally, but I'd always offer a guest or bed partner it because I know others do-but not everyone does.

FortunesFave · 20/12/2020 23:19

Just tell him how you felt. If he's any sort of a decent person, then he'll say "Oh God sorry! I just got into my routine and didn't think!"

If he's an arsehole, he'll let you know by another reaction. Then you're clear...dump or keep.

Hotwaterbottlelove · 20/12/2020 23:19

He made you tea, why would you expect a second drink? I would be so confused if a guest asked for coffee right after tea. I also would never have breakfast before a run so wouldn't offer it to a guest. I'd she he was it as an evening date and a stay over. Not a morning date as well. That's fine. If you haven't stayed overnight before, that's quite a long time to spend in each others company so understand him wanting to have a clear 'out' in the morning.

notangelinajolie · 20/12/2020 23:20

DTD on a Sunday morning and after 30 years married DH still makes me a cup of tea. The very first time and you get a close the door when you leave vibe - I think you know the way this is going.

FortunesFave · 20/12/2020 23:20

Fudge to be fair, I'm on the spectrum and I often miss social cues by miles. I think about a situation later and THEN it occurs to me.

Like..."Oh God I should have offered her a lift!" or "Why didn't I give those kids a pound for helping me?"

Stupid minor things...but things which don't occur immediately.

Tistheseason17 · 20/12/2020 23:22

If he was keen on you he'd want to spend longer with you. He could have said, "stay in bed,I'm gonna walk the dog and have a quick run - back in a bit" and come back with breakfast.

Be ready to dump or he'll ghost you.

FortunesFave · 20/12/2020 23:22

HotWaterBottle she didn't say HE made the tea. I assume she made it herself and was hoping for a coffee...maybe he has a machine she didn't know how to use or something.

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